


For His Love to Flee

by wyoheartsmusic



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hate to Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not a lot though, SKAM Big Bang, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmates, Vampires, comes with the trope i guess, dead bodies, i don't want to spoil too much so i'll leave individual warnings on the chapters, people die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 08:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13807296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic/pseuds/wyoheartsmusic
Summary: He ran for several days, lost his feeling for time or location along the way but he knew he needed to get away from that crazy person as fast and far away as possible.Or, in a world where vampires hide, two lost souls find each other.Or, the one with a vampire that eats people.Or, the one that sounds more YA than it (hopefully) is.





	1. † P R O L O G U E †

**Author's Note:**

> HIIIII
> 
> boiiii I'm excited!!!!! Posting date is finally here aaaahhh it seems like forever ago that I signed up for the Big Bang and at the same time like no time has passed at all. I remember going into this like "holy shit, 10k???? HOW WILL I GET THERE?? IT'S SO MUCH???" and then having an outline for a really cool fic idea and then I was like "well this will end up at around 50k probably" before I completely disregarded that first idea in... November I think? Then I panicked again because I got a new idea and again, I knew it was gonna end up at way more than 10k but how was I going to finish that until the deadline? Turns out, I was so inspired that I managed to finish it a month early at almost 50k and here we are now.
> 
> So I have to thank a couple of people here: First and foremost, Julia of course, for organising this huge event. I am so thrilled to read all the fics and see the art of all these amazing people in our fandom. Check out the SKAM Big Bang blog [here](https://skambigbang.tumblr.com/). Thank you thank you thank you for making this possible. I love you.  
> Also a huge thank you to Amalie for betaing this fic for me. You were great and helped a lot! <3
> 
> And [Marta](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/), my wonderful artist, who was with me through all of this, reading my stuff and screaming at me when it got too painful - reminder that we're talking about the person who likes to kill her characters so it's a huge compliment that she thought my fic is painful - and then of course her incredible enthusiasm about which scenes she'd like to draw and the finished drawings which are just so fucking epic. I am so in awe of your talent honestly.  
> So guys, don't forget to check out Marta's blog for the drawings that accompany this fic - you won't regret it.  
> I love you so much, Marta and thanks again for everything <333
> 
>  
> 
> Since this fic is chaptered, I don't want to post everything at once so I'll post a chapter every hour throughout the day - starting now at 10.21 and ending at... you can guess where this is going... 21.21 tonight
> 
> And now, I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it <3 (warnings for the chapter can be found in the end notes. they will also contain spoilers of course)
> 
> [Here's](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/post/171374311346/his-love-to-flee-by-wyo-for-the-skam-bigbang) the absolutely epic drawing for the first chapter :))
> 
> Oh and I also made a playlist for this fic which you can find [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/21mu7pyuoptesievy2uamtj5i/playlist/1qZ7iaRTZ704Fdfp7NEeqO?si=nmv41oXMSIqk-LX5B6uGow)

The clock struck close to midnight on the evening of the full moon when the reputable residents of the small English village had gone to bed long ago. The night was eerily silent, as if the world was at a standstill. However, the silence was suddenly disrupted by the wailing of a woman, her skirts gliding across the dirty path beneath her feet as she dragged herself along. Only the tight grip of the man by her side held her upright as his gruff voice tried to shush her.

They were bathed in white moonlight when they arrived at their destination, her crying never ceasing. Rather, it was only intensifying when they spotted the dark figures hanging from the tree — a large oak used for executions in their godforsaken village that had recently been used to sentence three criminals to death.

Except that only two of them could be seen as they were sickly illuminated by the moon behind them, dangling softly in the cold night’s breeze.

The woman’s scream was piercing when she discovered the third figure, a young boy, leaning against the trunk of the tree, head lowered as if he was sleeping. The man looked around frantically, scared that their own criminal actions might be discovered, but there wasn’t a soul in sight.

There was nothing the man could do when his wife wiggled out of his grip with a strength that was surprising for a woman of her build and sank down in front of the body. She lifted up his head, her hand brushing through his dirty, golden locks like a mother’s touch trying to soothe her child. And then her hands were all over him, touching the tips of her fingers to the curved eyebrows of the boy, holding his face in her hands to press a kiss to his angel-winged lips, her tears gathering in the dip of them. Gently, she rested her forehead against the boy’s, her fingers still tracing his features until she reached his mangled neck and the lines where the rope had strangled him. They were barely visible in the faint light but both the woman and the man knew they were there.

With disgust, the man watched the whole ordeal, knowing he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the sense of obligation he felt toward the woman due to the bond that had connected them many years ago. He took in the prominent cheekbones of the boy — or should he say man with those nineteen years of his — which had made him a favourite with the women in the village. A fact that the _boy_ had rejected with an arrogance that had landed him here. The man wrinkled his nose, spitting out.

His voice was rough when he told her, “Let’s go, woman. This is no place to linger.” Again, he shot a glance over his shoulder. When she did not budge, he stepped closer to her to grasp her arm again, but she shook out of it and wrapped her arms around the boy, holding him to her bosom.

The man was losing his patience. If they were caught, they might as well end up just like the boy, and that was certainly not worth it for such an unholy thing. He breathed a sigh of relief when she let go of the boy again but gritted his teeth a moment later when she produced something out of the small pouch tied around her waist.

She ran her fingers through the boy’s hair again and then in a swift movement with the knife now in her hand cut off a strand, pressing it to her lips and holding it in her hand tightly. Tired of her reluctance to move on, the man yanked on her arm, her wails of desperation turning into ones of pain as she still tightly, stubbornly, held on to the coarse linen of the boy’s tunic.

The action exposed the boy’s collarbone and the world seemed to freeze as both the woman and the man stared at it. The strange mark beneath the collarbone had always been a subject of great wonder and suspicion to all of them, even going as far as suspecting sorcery. A spell seemed to be the only explanation to what the boy had done anyway.

The mark, strange in the sense that it did not show a date in the near future like it did for every other person, but rather one hundreds of years ahead, was still pulsing. For the man, this was confirmation that the boy had been, indeed, bewitched and was wearing the devil’s mark instead of God’s. And the woman’s reaction to seeing it just proved more to him that they had to get out of the vicinity of this boy as she seemed to be falling under the same spell.

“He’s still alive! He must be! I’ve never heard of anything like this before! We can’t leave him here!” She exclaimed, and it took the man incredible effort not to strike her to silence.

As she kept muttering his name over and over again, the man yanked on her arm once more, even firmer than before, dragging her away from the boy across the ground. She scraped her knees before she managed to scramble to her feet, stumbling over them and her skirts. However, the man’s grip on her was relentless and her wails picked up volume again, sounds like those from the lost souls burning in purgatory.

“He’s your son, he’s your son!” She sobbed over and over again, shooting glances over her shoulder, back to the boy that was still seemingly asleep and not dead. The two criminals hanging from the tree remained their only witnesses and a gross reminder of what had happened there.

“He’s nothing but a filthy corpse now.”


	2. † C H A P T E R   O N E †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen Marta's art for the prologue yet, you can check it out [here](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/post/171374311346/his-love-to-flee-by-wyo-for-the-skam-bigbang)

The wind was relentless as Isak made his way through the dark streets, shoulders hunched and face half hidden in his warm scarf. He didn’t like the cold, avoided it whenever he could, which was a bit of a futile mission in Norway. Burying his gloved hands deeper in the pockets of his coat, he quickened his steps, just wanting to get to his destination before the inevitable snow started. It had been lying in the air all day, the freezing cold and grey skies just waiting to powder Oslo in white dullness and a seemingly never ending deadness.

If he had had the choice, he’d be curled up at home now, wrapped up in blankets in front of the fireplace with a good book, or even in bed, surrounded by nothing but warmth and safety. He could have watched the sky outside with its blinking stars until snow mixed into it, dancing their way to the ground.

It would have been nice. He wouldn’t have had to experience the cold of the wind firsthand; could have watched from a comfortable distance. But because his best friend was in the city, he had let himself be persuaded to go out and now, when he would head home later, it’d be amidst a snowstorm.

Isak heaved a sigh. He should focus on seeing his friend again after what felt like much too long even though the last time probably hadn’t been much longer than a couple of months ago.

He was relieved when he finally arrived at the nightclub, nodding stoically at the bouncer who knew his face by now. It was the best feeling to step through the heavy black door and into the stifling air inside, shaking off the cold night and loneliness.

The bass was pounding, reverberating in his whole body, and he quickly handed over his outerwear at the cloakroom before he joined the party crowd in the actual club.

Sweaty bodies pushing at him and the pure inebriated atmosphere made Isak feel better immediately. He made a beeline for the bar to order a couple shots he downed right there, before going for a Bloody Mary that he took with him as he scanned the crowd for his best friend.

It didn’t take long before a flash of white blonde hair came into view, and before Isak really registered what was going on, his best friend jumped him, wrapping her arms and legs around him as he just barely managed to hold his drink out of reach while holding her steady with his free arm. However, the impact of her unexpected embrace made him stumble back a little, and he felt some of his drink slosh over his hand as he laughed, “Vilde! Hi!”

She giggled against his neck before letting go of him and lowering herself back on the ground. The smile directed at him was the brightest thing he’d seen in weeks. “How are you? Gosh, I missed you!” She exclaimed over the music, plucking his drink from his hand with a wicked grin and taking a sip. She scrunched up her nose, “You’re still into Bloody Marys, huh? I don’t know how you can drink them.”

Isak rolled his eyes, taking back his cocktail. “Well,” He shouted pointedly over the music, “If you didn’t steal my drinks, you wouldn’t have to complain.”

Vilde laughed again, taking his hand and pulling him further into the crowd. “Dance with me!” She said, already wrapping her arms around his neck and starting to move her body to the beat.

They got lost in the music for a bit, Vilde showing no shame in writhing her body against Isak’s and after the initial hesitance that always seemed to be at the edge of his mind, he let himself relax as well, squeezing her hips and enjoying the feeling of her against him.

It might have been hours, or maybe only minutes when Isak felt eyes on them. He was used to drawing in people, knew how good he looked and adding Vilde to the mix just made the two of them ten times hotter. When he looked up, he almost immediately found piercing eyes, and a smirk playing on sinful lips.

A slow smirk of his own spread on his lips and he looked back at Vilde, wiggling his eyebrows at her and subtly tilting his head in the direction of the guy.

They danced for a bit longer until Vilde faced the right way to judge him and give her approval or disapproval. “Fy faen, he’s gorgeous,” She said with a nod, grinning. She rubbed her right thumb over the side of her middle finger where she had her mark, a subconscious movement Isak had picked up on her doing some time ago. “I guess I’ll find myself someone to have a good night with while you have fun with that hunk… See you at home!”

Vilde made to leave but Isak grasped her wrist. “Why don’t we wait and see how long it’ll take him to come over here? Any bets?” He suggested, enjoying this way too much. His gaze flitted back to the hot stranger, whose gaze was still unwaveringly on Isak and he gnawed on his lip as if thinking about his next move.

Isak would wait all night if it meant ending up in that boy’s bed.

It turned out, however, that he didn’t have to wait that long. Isak finished his sixth or seventh drink when the guy decided to make his move. Vilde noticed almost as soon as Isak did, squeezing his arm in encouragement before she weaved through the crowd and away from him. Isak took in the stranger, the confidence that was maybe just a bit too much on this side of too conceited, with which he went straight for Isak as if he was some kind of prey.

Isak felt the anticipation in him rising, biting his lip seductively while he kept his eyes on the guy. “Hi,” He breathed, deliberately moving closer as soon as Hot Stranger was in front of him. Isak put a hand on his arm, “Wanna buy me a drink?” Shifting his gaze to bedroom eyes because he knew they always worked — except this was pretty much a done deal anyway.

“Tell me your name and the drink is yours,” The boy flirted, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

Isak leaned in again, making sure his lips brushed his ear when he whispered, “I’m Isak.” He felt the shiver going through him, which made Isak smirk.  _ Done deal _ .

Without asking, the guy ordered them shots at the bar, possibly trying to get even more confidence from the alcohol — not that Isak thought he needed it — or getting Isak drunk. Both things were kind of futile in Isak’s opinion but he played along anyway.

Hot Stranger leaned in to tell him, “Your eyes are fucking gorgeous.” Isak rolled them, he knew that. The intense emerald green with the silvery specks in them wasn’t something you saw every day. Isak had absolutely no interest in compliments when he just wanted to get laid though, so he suggested, “Let’s dance.”

On the dance floor, Isak didn’t hesitate to use his best moves on the guy, writhing against him not unlike Vilde had done earlier with him — except that Isak put much more intention behind it.

He felt searching hands under his shirt not much later, enjoying the touch on his skin, panting against Hot Stranger’s neck when his hands wandered to his ass instead. Isak felt the accelerated pulse against his tongue when he placed sloppy wet kisses against the boy’s neck before he buried his hands in the soft tufts of hair and sealed their lips together.

There was just enough desperation in the kiss that they were grinding against each other, erections rubbing together through their jeans but not yet frantic enough to hurry off the dance floor and out of the club. Instead they stayed right there, kissing, kissing, kissing and breathing each other in. Touching, taking until it almost got too much.

“My place isn’t far from here,” Hot Stranger gasped against Isak’s lips eventually, stuffing his hands in Isak’s back pockets to get him yet closer even though it seemed impossible.

Isak looked up at him, almost coyly if it weren’t for his kiss-bitten lips. There was excitement coiling in his stomach — it didn’t happen often that he met people that were taller than him. “What are we waiting for then?” Knowing Vilde would be alright on her own and he’d see her in the morning, he left the club without a bad conscience.

The flat was that of a typical student, messy and small. Not that Isak paid much attention to it. He was more focused on getting Hot Stranger out of his clothes and subsequently, his lips on every bit of naked skin he could reach.

Hot Stranger ripped Isak’s shirt off of him as well, his mouth latching onto Isak’s neck and down to his collarbone, his lips moving against it, “Fuck, I want to devour you!” 

Isak smirked, licking his lips as he pushed him down on the bed. “Well,  _ I  _ want to blow you right now.” He raked his eyes over the boy’s half-naked state, marvelling how long and lean he was. Gorgeous. Perfect. “Take off your boxers and scoot up the mattress a little, babe.”

In response, Hot Stranger almost fell over himself in his haste to get completely naked, propping himself up against the pillows, his cock heavy and leaking.

Isak eagerly wiggled out of his jeans before he got on the bed as well, catching Hot Stranger’s lips in a bruising kiss before he made his way down across his jaw and to his neck and then further down to his chest, licking and biting a little, leaving bruises behind and loving how he was already a moaning mess.

As soon as Isak had his hand, and quickly after his mouth, on Hot Stranger, he made quick work of it, making the boy fall apart within a couple of minutes.

“Can I fuck you?” Isak asked sweetly, kissing him again while he still came down from his high, “Do you think you can take it?”

Hot Stranger’s eyes were blown wide and Isak thought he must have given himself whiplash with how fast he was nodding. He pointed at the bedside table, unable to say more than, “Condoms.”

There was no hesitation in Isak’s actions as he got the condoms and lube, prepping Hot Stranger thoroughly with his tongue and fingers, taking his sweet time until he was getting hard again and almost making him come a second time when he mouthed along his length. Before Isak took off his boxers to put on the condom, he slapped the boy’s propped up ass lightly to indicate that he should get on his hands and knees. He followed the instruction easily and Isak gripped his hips, lining himself up at his entrance, pushing in carefully.

When Isak bottomed out, he gave him a couple seconds to gather himself because he had stilled completely and Isak wasn’t even sure he was still breathing. “Okay?”

“Just fuck me, Isak,” He panted eventually, looking over his shoulder at Isak with wide eyes.

Isak pulled out halfway before slamming back in, giving a couple relentless thrusts before he relaxed a little, bending across Hot Stranger’s back to kiss him hungrily. He snapped his hips shallowly, lips trailing to his shoulder. Isak bit down on it gently, making the guy scream out in pleasure and pain. Even more aroused by that, Isak got back in an upright position to be able to push into him at a better angle.

“Pleasepleaseplease,” Hot Stranger whined, “Please touch me.” He was close.

Isak grinned, this was his favourite part. “Turn around, babe,” He said, pulling out of him for a moment until he was comfortable on his back and Isak could slam back into him, aiming for his prostate repeatedly while simultaneously wrapping his hand around Hot Stranger’s dick, tugging fast and purposeful. Isak buried his face against his neck, scattering a couple kisses there as he got them closer to release. Another thrust and Isak’s teeth sinking into his neck and Hot Stranger was coming hard between them.

Isak chased his own orgasm, sucking softly on the guy’s neck. He tasted some blood on his tongue, his lips curling up in a smile. Pulling out of him, his lips remained against the guy’s neck.

Hot Stranger was panting, hands roaming Isak’s back and pulling him closer, head tilting to the side to give Isak better access. Isak felt like flying. 

“That was fantastic, holy shit,” Hot Stranger heaved, burying his hands in Isak’s hair, “Babe, if you keep sucking bruises into my neck, you’ll make me come  _ again _ and I really don’t think I’ll survive this.”

Isak had different plans. The blood on his lips and tongue was silky, the iron taste heavy. He wrapped an arm under Hot Stranger, pulling him with him when he sat up. He clung to Isak almost desperately.

It was over quickly — a few years of experience ensuring that. The guy’s grip on him loosened more and more; Isak was fast enough to not give him a chance to realise what was going on. The wave of arousal rushing through Isak was dizzying. He was breathing heavily, smirking when he pushed the boy off his lap and fell down next to him on the mattress.

Tracing his tongue over his sharp canines, he used the corner of the sheets to wipe his mouth before discarding the empty condom carelessly. Isak looked down at his stomach, wrinkling his nose at the guy’s come gathered there. It was an awful mess. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the mattress.

After picking up his clothes all over the room, he turned back to the bed, saying into the quiet of the room, “It was a pleasure to suck you off.” He giggled at his stupid joke, shooting the blood-drained body on the bed another look before he left the room to find the bathroom instead.

After a long, hot shower, Isak stared at himself in the mirror for a while. There was something really nice — and vain — about being able to do that. His cheeks were flushed, hair wild and he had a huge grin on his lips. His eyes sparkled.

It had been a successful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think so far! <3


	3. † C H A P T E R   T W O †

It was getting light outside already when Isak made it back to his flat. Vilde was lounging on the sofa with the TV on. She looked up when he came in, smirking immediately at his elated expression.

“You’re back late!” She said cheerily, clearly waiting for details.

Isak shrugged, plopping down next to her. “I had an early breakfast,” He told her, wiggling his eyebrows. 

She looked properly scandalised, her jaw dropped and she slapped the back of his head. “You  _ sucked _ the hunk dry?” She screeched.

“Sucked him in more ways than one,” He winked at her.

Vilde scrunched up her nose and shook her head. “Wow, Isak.”

He was completely unfazed. “Don’t you do that?” He asked curiously.

His best friend snorted. “Of course I do. But not with the really pretty people. The  _ potential _ , Isak, damn it.” Her gaze was far too judging.

Isak pouted. “Potential? I’m not turning people into vampires left and right!”

“Of course not, Isak!” Vilde exclaimed as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion she had ever heard. And maybe it was. “The  _ potential _ of a good convenient lay, including an invigorating post-orgasm snack,” She told him, talking in a voice that suggested he was a stupid child.

He was a lot older than her and not a child, thank you very much. “How— what—  _ why _ would you take that risk?” He spluttered, trying to understand where she was coming from.

Vilde waved her hand dismissively at his dramatics. “Humans are so stupid, they won’t even notice if it’s just a little bit… they  _ dig _ those hickeys. You should know. The hunk was probably pretty excited when you started. How was it anyway?” She smiled again, turning to face him more, giving him all of her attention.

Isak smirked. “B positive. Not my favourite, but  _ definitely  _ better than A positive.”

She laughed, “Your aversion to A positive is ridiculous,” She insisted like she always did.

Now who was the child? Isak had  _ every _ right to hate the filthiest, most common blood type of them all — well, O positive was just as bad. If she had lived as long as him, she’d understand. “I’ll promise you right now that by the time your hundredth turnday comes around, you’ll loathe it as much as I do. Probably earlier. Oh wow, that reminds me… we’re celebrating the big fifty next year! Are you excited?” 

“Big? It must seem like the blink of an eye for you…”

Isak smiled at her, patting her leg. “It does. But it’s big because it’s you and you’re my best friend, Vilde.” Before this escalated into a mushy mess of  _ feelings _ , he got off the couch and walked over to the open kitchen area, opening his fridge. “I stocked up on O plus just for you. I don’t get why you like it so much, but I love you. Or did you already help yourself?”

“Isak, you do have feelings! Aw,” She cooed exaggeratedly, “I waited because I thought I could have a nice breakfast with my best friend.”

He grabbed one of the froosh bottles labelled  _ no to plain vanilla _ and another one of the  _ your dreams crushed _ for himself. There was nothing wrong with enjoying some delicious O negative as a dessert. 

Isak found himself procrastinating going back to join Vilde on the couch, which he knew was kind of pointless and ridiculous. If he didn’t address the topic that was giving him so much anxiety recently, Vilde would sooner or later.

So he heaved a — useless but habitual — deep breath. And while he carried the bottles back over to Vilde, he announced, “I know what you’re doing… and it’s not necessary.”

“Isn’t it?” She challenged, immediately catching on to what he was skirting around to say. 

Isak took an almost passive aggressive sip of his bottle, glaring at his best friend. “I would have been fine on my own.” There was an itching under his skin that suggested otherwise but he would ignore it as he had for the past couple weeks.

Vilde scrutinised him for a long moment before replying, “Don’t you think it’s better to  _ not _ be alone for something you waited  _ 300 _ years for?”

His hand automatically reached for his left collarbone where he knew his mark was. He usually refrained from looking at it too much, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the date memorised. “I did not  _ wait _ for it,  _ Vilde _ ,” He told her firmly, wiggling around on the sofa uncomfortably. “In fact,” He swallowed, meeting her inquiring gaze head on, “I’ll coop up here,  _ waiting _ until this godforsaken day is over and I can go about my business again as usual.”

Vilde was not amused by that. She gasped, pushing him. “You can’t do that! It’s the  _ only _ day you can meet your soulmate! The love of your life, the—”

Interrupting her, Isak groaned, “ _ Soul _ mate? Funny how the consensus seems to be that vampires don’t have souls. I think I’ll pass on that bullshit. Anyway… love makes you stupid, it’s just a chemical reaction in the brain. Why should I bother with it,  _ especially _ when it’s forced onto us by some mark that shouldn’t even work anymore because I am, in fact, dead.”

Vilde pressed her lips together tightly, watching him through squinted eyes. “The politically correct word would be  _ undead _ . Besides, humans also seem to think that we have to avoid the sun, yet I spend most of the year in the Bahamas,” She pointed out but she couldn’t hide that she was hurt, her emotions always visible on her face, and Isak hated himself for making her feel bad. He knew how much the whole concept of soulmates meant to her.

Isak gnawed on his bottom lip, guilt gurgling in his stomach as she rubbed at her middle finger with the tattoo on the side vigorously. The mark that was forever frozen at  **_08 01 1969_ ** with the time **_20:34_ ** right beneath it. He might not get why someone would want a soulmate, especially if they were in the same situation as him where it meant to find your person, have them for maybe a couple of decades if you were lucky, only to lose them forever. But he felt for his best friend. “Do you… miss her?” He asked quietly, taking her bottle and putting it together with his down on the coffee table to wrap his arm around Vilde.

She let her head rest against his shoulder, admitting in a whisper, “Every day.”

 

_ Compared to the Roaring 20s, the New York City of the 60s was a completely different story. If the 20s were glittering and exuberant, the 60s were dirty and grimy. It was keeping your head down and scurrying along dark roads and alleyways, hoping no one identified you as what you were. _

_ While minorities stood up for their rights all around, the homosexual community still stayed mostly hidden. _

_ Isak was used to hiding, knew better than to flaunt his sexual orientation but it wasn’t easy when it felt like you couldn’t trust anyone around you. Still, he did not want to leave the Big Apple because the city’s sheer vastness also meant incredible anonymity. _

_ It was safety. _

_ At least until you’re at a speakeasy for homosexuals and get caught in the middle of a raid.  _

_ They happened all the time, but Isak had never experienced one first hand. He panicked instantly, having no interest in coming into contact with the police that did  _ everything _ to get rid of “their” city’s vermin. Out of pure luck, he managed to steal himself out of the room and to the restrooms, crawling out of the small window there. _

_ As so often, he found himself in a dark alleyway at the back of the club. To his left was the way that would lead him back to the front and where the chaos was at most likely. His right was nothing but a dead end, but that did not deter him. He’d rather die than walk right into the arms of a police officer. _

_ Isak jumped on top of the dumpster and from there over the brick wall, landing on the other side in a perfect crouch. He smirked. This was almost fun. _

_ “Hey!” Someone yelled and he froze, the smirk wiped right off his face. A guy in uniform approached him. _

_ Now Isak could have just run, gotten the fuck out of there as quickly as possible, but both he and the man were stunned when a roaring engine approached and a girl’s voice yelled, “Get on behind me, blondie!” _

_ Isak didn’t hesitate as he ran the distance to the girl on the motorcycle, jumping on behind her and they dashed off before the cop could figure out what was going on. Isak wasn’t sure he himself quite understood and he stared dumbfounded at the back of the girl’s helmet on which two girls were drawn in a compromising position. _

_ The ride was over quickly as they halted in front of a building in The Village, not that far away from Isak’s own place actually. _

_ She took off her helmet, grinning broadly at Isak. “Hi, I’m Violet. Do you wanna come up for a coffee following all that excitement?” She invited him in. _

_ Isak was too stunned to do anything but nod. It wasn’t often that he was overwhelmed by some mere human. He was led into a small but cosy flat that smelled of flowers and home. _

_ “Honey, I’m home,” She called out, “And I brought a guest.” _

_ Immediately, a blonde head poked out of the kitchen, her eyes widening and red-coloured lips parted slightly. She came into full view, cleaning her hands on the frilly apron tied around her waist before she held out her hand for him to shake. “Hi, I’m Nora.”  _

_ Isak smiled. “Isaac, hi. Nice to meet you!” He looked between the two girls, both had to be around his age — at least the age he was going with officially. _

_ Before Isak’s confusion could grow, Violet elaborated, “She’s my girlfriend. My  _ soulmate _.” _

_ Nora smiled lovingly at her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Happiest four months of my life,” She whispered and Isak wasn’t quite sure if it was meant for his ears as well. _

_ Violet blushed a deep red before her gaze met Isak’s and she cleared her throat. “Coffee. Isak wanted coffee!” _

_ “I just made a pot,” Nora told them, “Come join me in the kitchen and tell me how you met!”  _

_ They told her about the raid while eating cookies and drinking coffee, and Isak made a mental note to go hunting soon, as human food drained him quicker. But he couldn’t bring himself to worry about that right in that moment because he found himself really enjoying the girls’ company: Nora’s unapologetic attitude, getting lost in rants about feminism and civil rights, and Violet’s quieter but nevertheless just as radiant demeanour, filling the whole flat with light and love. _

_ It was in the early morning hours, all of them slightly tipsy and high on having made new friends, when Violet whispered thoughtfully, “We almost didn’t meet, Nora and I.” _

_ Nora brushed her fingers gently through her girlfriend’s hair, smiling at Isak. “She’s dramatic,” She laughed, “I can’t imagine a world where this beautiful, strong angel didn’t come to the Daughters of Bilitis meeting. She might have been scared but she has a strong will. It was an amazing moment… when everyone realised that we had found each other. It was a push in the right direction, the one in which homosexuals are just like heterosexuals. Not that we flaunt it but… you know…” Nora smiled bashfully at him, her cheeks reddened. _

 

_ They became fast friends after that.  _

_ But barely a month later, everything went to shit. _

_ People were angry. So, so angry. There was another raid, of course there was because there was never  _ not _ one. But this one changed everything. _

_ It was a Saturday in late June, and Isak was walking with his arms slung around Violet and Nora as they walked down the street back to the girls’ flat. They passed the Stonewall Inn and their laughter ceased when they noticed the considerable crowd in front of the club. There was a bloodlust in the air that Isak only knew from when he was on the hunt. He was thriving on it. And Nora seemed to feel similarly as she stepped out from under his arm as if she wanted to join the Queens and others hurling insults and stones alike at the cops, while Violet burrowed more into his side. _

_ The thing was, Isak hated the police with a passion and if there was the chance to, he’d stay out of their way or get away as quickly as possible. But there was something about this night, the fire and passion and unity of it that urged him on, that made him want to  _ fight _. _

_ “Do you want to go home?” Isak asked Violet anyway because if she was uncomfortable, he’d get her away from this before possibly joining in. _

_ The drag queens formed a kick line and started singing in that moment, ” _ We are the Stonewall girls/ We wear our hair in curls/ We don't wear underwear/ We show our pubic hair. _ ” _

_ Violet watched in awe and then shook her head. This was a night of fighting,  _ their _ community was finally fighting back and it was time to stand up for themselves. _

_ The police started making use of nightsticks and it was getting uglier by the second. The smell of blood in the air made Isak dizzy and if it didn’t expose him, he would have loved to kill some of those motherfucking assholes. _

_ The situation was completely out of control. _

_ Isak wasn’t even surprised when a nightstick hit Nora across the head and knocked her to the ground, and she was unable to get up quickly enough before people started trampling over her. Violet’s scream was drowned by the angry shouting around them, and Isak couldn’t even remember what he did to get the unconscious Nora into his arms and away from the mob, one hand wrapped so tightly around Violet’s upper arm, dragging her with them, that it would surely leave bruises. _

_ “We gotta get her to the hospital! Fast!” Isak exclaimed, looking around frantically as if one would pop up right there. _

_ Violet couldn’t stop crying but her gaze was empty, unfocused. _

_ “Violet!  _ Focus _!” He yelled but to no avail. They also didn’t have time to wait for an ambulance, which probably wouldn’t even show up in that area right now. He was faster anyway. “Violet,” Isak said with his best quiet voice, “Violet, angel. Can you go home by yourself? Can you do that? I’ll get Nora to the hospital, it’ll be okay, I  _ swear _! Do you trust me?” _

_ She snapped out of it, luckily, shaking her head frantically. “I’m not leaving her,” She screeched. _

_ Isak closed his eyes. He expected this. “Do you trust me?” He repeated, impatiently because  _ they didn’t have time for this _. _

_ Violet nodded. _

_ “I’ll get Nora to the hospital the fastest way possible. Can you follow us there on your own?” _

_ It was clear that Violet did not understand what he meant but Isak just darted forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. _

_ Violet grabbed his hand that held onto Nora’s legs when he was already halfway turned away from her. She kissed her soulmate on the forehead, brushing her bloodied hair out of her face gently before taking a step back and shifting her wide, teary eyes to Isak. “Go,” She mouthed and Isak didn’t give a fuck that she saw him take off with inhuman speed. _

_ He was at the hospital a little over a minute later, telling the nurse at the reception, “20-year-old female, blood type AB negative. Head trauma.” _

_ The woman looked at him curiously for all of a second before jumping into action and then Nora was taken from his arms and rolled away on a cot to get her into surgery as quickly as possible. _

_ Isak sank down in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area, feeling way more exhausted than a vampire should. _

_ Twenty minutes later, Violet was there and only shortly after that, she broke down because a doctor announced the death of her soulmate to her. _

_ She was in shards and Isak felt like breaking too. Everyone around them was eyeing them anxiously because Violet was on the ground crying. Her heart had been ripped out of her chest in a way that was much worse than had it been physical, and she didn’t even let Isak try to comfort her with his touch. _

_ Isak tore at his hair in frustration and then left the waiting area of the hospital, down a corridor and away from his best friend. He was used to being alone but he was not used to feeling like  _ this _. He wanted to tear his chest open and rip his heart out because anything was better than feeling this kind of pain, this helpless. _

_ “Are you okay?” A young nurse approached him, her expression a tad too neutral to be genuinely concerned with his wellbeing. _

_ He couldn’t blame her; she probably saw scenes like this every day. _

_ Isak’s eyes flitted around the hallway, making sure that they were alone, and when he was, he broke her neck in a quick movement and dragged her into a nearby closet, feeding on her. It wasn’t as good as the actual hunt and feeling his victim struggle against him but the tension seeped out of him like the blood seeped out of her. _

_ There was no remorse when he dropped her on the ground carelessly and left her there to rot. She was just an innocent woman at the wrong place at the wrong time, but Isak had basically already forgotten about her when he returned to Violet, able to focus better on her now that his grief was only a dull ache anymore. _

_ Violet had no one left but him. _

 

_ Nora’s funeral was a quiet and private affair with lots of tears on Violet’s part and Isak being a solid, comforting presence by her side. _

_ Hours after the service, they were still there, sitting in front of Nora’s grave, silently staring at the wooden cross placed at the head of it. _

_ Eventually, it was Violet who broke the silence. “Thanks for being here for me. For… trying to get her— help fast enough.” She looked down at her soulmate mark, rubbing her thumb over it. _

_ He could hear in her voice that she hadn’t forgotten about his inhuman running skills even though he had hoped she would. So he just blurted, “I’m not… like you.” He considered Violet his best friend and he was tired of hiding from her. He trusted her. _

_ Violet nodded thoughtfully. “Does it hurt less? To be like you? Would I feel less alone?” _

_ Isak gulped. This was not the direction he thought it would go. “You’d have me,” He whispered, because a selfish part of him  _ wanted _ her to be like him so he could have his best friend forever. _

_ “I’d like that,” She murmured. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make my day <3


	4. † C H A P T E R   T H R E E †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Marta [drawing](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/post/171377002081/for-his-love-to-flee-by-wyo-for-the-skam-big) for this chapter! Yay!

There was something beautiful about opening his eyes to find a flurry of white outside the window. It had been snowing on and off the last few days but never so much that Isak had looked outside and had seen nothing but whiteness.

He pulled the duvet higher up to his chin and turned to his side to watch the snow for a bit.

It calmed him down immensely, the surreal itching of his skin lessening, and he could almost pretend that today wasn’t  _ The Day _ . The previous night had been a restless one. Vampires didn’t actually sleep but they were able to go into a state of tranquility when their brain shut off and their body slowed down; one of the advantages of that being that they could store blood for longer. Naturally, Isak couldn’t do that last night — he had had a bad case of insomnia for the past 300 years anyway — but he had pretended because that kept Vilde off his case.

Eventually, Isak left the warmth of his bed, getting ready for his day — which just meant putting on comfortable sweatpants and a shirt that preferably didn’t have too many bloodstains because he had made a mess while lounging on the couch and slurping on a bottle. Throwing on a hoodie on top of it, he shuffled into the large living area.

Vilde was nowhere in sight and Isak was glad for it. He moved over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the fridge before going back to the sofa. Putting the blood down on the coffee table, he turned on the TV and xbox. And that was basically it for today: he would just lazily lounge around and play FIFA. Soulmate Day? Fuck that.

He settled into the couch, getting comfortable. Unfortunately, he couldn’t say that he was  _ entirely _ relaxed. The knowledge of today being the day that’s been etched into his skin for over 300 years itched at the back of his mind, crawling like rats over his skin.

Isak physically shook himself to get rid of that thought, focusing harder on his game.

It worked for a while, which he was endlessly grateful for and just when he started worrying about it again (what it meant when he just let this day pass like any other day), the door burst open and Vilde waltzed in.

She was pure sunshine, managing to brighten the dreariest of days so even though Isak wouldn’t like it if she started with the soulmate thing again, he was glad she was here now. Her arms were loaded with shopping bags and she grinned brightly when she spotted Isak on the sofa. “Halla, best friend. I went shopping. There’s something about Norwegian fashion that I just miss when I’m away. Also, groceries. Because I decided you won’t be wasting away today and we’re going to cook together!” She chirped, dumping the shopping bags on the counter in the kitchen before discarding the bags with her new clothes in the guest room that could very well have her name on it because Isak usually didn’t have other guests.

Isak groaned, throwing a cushion at her, his aim painfully off. He liked cooking occasionally — even though it was a completely unnecessary human task that, if anything, just meant they needed blood again quicker — when it wasn’t disrupting his peaceful (if forcefully so) day. But it also was a reminder of different times when Isak would go over to Nora and Vilde’s (when she had still been called Violet) flat for happy evenings spent together, cooking.

Maybe that was why Vilde still did it, too.

“Don’t pretend you hate the idea. We’re gonna have fun! And it’ll distract you enough because you look fucking miserable right now,” She told him sternly.

Isak just nodded, knowing that it was futile to put up any fight, and anyway, his quick agreement would keep her from pushing the whole soulmate thing.

He finished his second bottle of blood (not that he needed it but it helped with the nervousness), putting it in the dishwasher to have it clean when his next delivery of blood came, and joined Vilde by the counter where she spread the fresh vegetables she had bought. “I was thinking vegetable stir-fry?” She suggested, already going through the cupboards to pick up cutting boards and knives — it was possible she knew her way around Isak’s kitchen better than he did. “Alright, one more thing we need,” She took her phone out of her pocket and connected it to the loudspeaker system.

“ _ This is a shoutout to my ex, _ ” Came the voice of a woman a moment later and Vilde started popping her hips to the beat and joining in to sing along to the next line. She nudged Isak, wiggling her eyebrows and tugging on his hands to get him to dance with her.

Isak just rolled his eyes, suppressing a grin as he grabbed a knife to start cutting vegetables while Vilde was too preoccupied to help because she was dancing around him. Whenever he felt alone, Vilde was right there, her presence a brightness that was better than the promise of a soulmate that he’d only have for maybe a couple decades if he was lucky — so he didn’t get why he should settle for anything less than his gorgeous best friend.

“Come  _ on _ , Isak,” She giggled when the chorus started, tugging on his arms more insistently to get him to join her.

Isak heaved a sigh but humoured her, nodding his head along to the music a little bit. (By the time the chorus came around a second time, he was singing along loudly, laughing and dancing with Vilde.)

It was a little bittersweet because it felt so familiar to that kitchen in that tiny flat in The Village when they had jammed together, while cooking became secondary. There were two things that were different nowadays, one more glaringly obvious than the other: they had rocked out to The Who back in the 60s and Nora had been there.

While Isak suddenly missed his dead friend with a fierceness that knocked the air out of him, Vilde was beaming; almost as if the familiarity of the moment made her feel closer to her lost soulmate. Isak wasn’t sure if he felt envious of her for that or pitied her. But he had lost Nora too and he remembered how painful that had been and he didn’t even want to imagine how much more painful it would be to lose his own soulmate — so not meeting his soulmate at all was for the best.

He pushed those thoughts aside when the vegetable stir-fry was done. It was great and with Vilde chatting about her current hook-ups in the Bahamas and her trying to get details about Isak’s own sex life, it hit him how much he was going to miss her once she left again. Right after Vilde had been turned, they had lived together for twenty years, maybe it was time to consider staying in the same place together again — if his best friend didn’t want to leave the Bahamas, Isak wouldn’t mind packing his bags and moving there with her.

 

The thing was, Isak didn’t do well with confined spaces. His flat was huge, or at least big enough that he  _ didn’t _ feel caged usually but under his self-induced house arrest, it was almost impossible to breathe. (Breathe in the figurative sense of the word obviously.)

Vilde eyed him curiously from her spot on the sofa where she was reading a magazine, her eyebrows raised in question as Isak jerkily jumped to his feet.

When he realised he was scratching at his skin — a nervous quirk — he forced himself to stop, balling his hands into fists. “I’ll go hunting,” He announced, pressing his lips together tightly.

His best friend was understandably confused; she had stopped convincing Isak to just live this day as he normally would, accepting Isak’s decision that he didn’t care for his soulmate, so of course she didn’t understand what had changed his mind all of a sudden to take the risk of going outside. “There’s still loads of blood in the fridge,” She reminded him carefully.

Isak shook his head. No amount of stored blood in the world would soothe his cravings right now, this need to find a living, breathing victim and chase it, seeing the fear in its eyes and that same gaze turning glassy and empty when he killed it. It was a coping mechanism, Isak was well aware of that — and fuck it, but he loved it. Why change something that worked so well? “It’s almost midnight. What are the chances of running into my soulmate now?” He shrugged, itching to get out of the flat already.

Vilde shot him a look that conveyed  _ do what you fucking want, I won’t hold you back but don’t get the idea that I’ll join you, I’m very comfortable here, thank you very much _ . She had very expressive eyes — or maybe they just knew each other really well.

“See you later, petal,” Isak made an aborted movement with his hand that could be considered a wave before swiftly turning around and leaving the flat.

Snow covered the pavement, the orange streetlights giving the night an eerie glow. It was peaceful and beautiful. Isak felt excitement strumming in his stomach and the anxiety fell off him before the first snowflake caught in his curls.

Isak didn’t have a definite destination so he just started running, letting the night decide where it would take him. He didn’t encounter anyone at first; most people were probably cooped up in their warm homes with their loved ones while the snow powdered the city in white.

He slowed his steps to human speed when he was close to the city centre, content to just stroll around for a bit. If he didn’t find a victim, it wouldn’t be the worst he thought; the cold night made him feel calm enough.

But then he spotted a lonesome figure trudging through the snow, shoulders hunched as the person tried to get as much warmth from their coat as possible.

Isak leaned against a wall, watching his victim from the shadows for a bit. Closing his eyes he listened for the steady beat of the heart, blood that would soon be Isak’s pumping through the veins.

_ AB negative. _

Isak groaned, a slow smirk spreading on his lips. This was the jackpot. As the rarest of blood types it had been Nora’s certain demise — as it was for this one — but for Isak, right now, it was heaven on earth. A fucking feast.

He pushed off the wall, walking a couple metres behind his victim; he delighted in the fact that its heart started pounding harder and harder (as if it could tell this were its last few moments) as it realised he was being followed, footsteps getting faster. The victim looked around a couple of times, trying to spot its pursuer but Isak disappeared in the shadows every time.

The next time Isak’s victim turned around (heart going so fast it must feel it pounding in its ears, breathing shallow) Isak positioned himself in front of it so when it turned back around it spotted Isak, eyes turning wide and stumbling a couple steps back. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me!” The victim’s voice was syrupy low and scratchy.

Isak liked to play games. Actually, he fucking loved them. He put on his most boyish smile, fluttering his thick lashes in a way he knew drove all the boys mad. “I’m sorry,” He said haughtily.

It did things to this boy as well. Blood rushed to its cheeks in the most delicious way. His victim’s gaze darted around, unsure, until they settled back on Isak. “I got a little paranoid, thought I’m being followed,” The boy faltered, “Did  _ you _ follow me?” Its heart had settled down for a moment but was going quicker again at that possibility. Its hand reached up to its ribs as if it tried to contain its heart behind it.

Isak took a measured step forward, his expression a depiction of innocence still and when he replied, his voice was velvety sweet, flirty, “Do you want me to?”

The victim didn’t seem to know what to reply to that. And it really didn’t need to.

Isak had had enough of playing; his body felt warm and fuzzy with the prospect of getting to suck this boy dry. His movement was so fast that his victim didn’t realise it until it was too late: Isak pressed warm lips to cold skin, revelling in the feeling of the pulse rabbiting against his lips before he plunged his teeth into the soft flesh.

The moment he got the first taste of the delicious blood, Isak almost had to stop with how good it was. He couldn’t remember the last time he got to have AB negative.

His victim struggled against him, as they all did, but Isak had a literal death grip on it, sucking the life force out of it blood drop by blood drop until it didn’t fight against him anymore and only its quiet whimpers could be heard in the otherwise silent night.

Feeling all fight leave the body he was feeding on was undoubtedly his favourite part about hunting, only rivalled by the tingle in his own body when the blood rush set in.

It grew stronger and stronger, unlike anything he had ever felt before, until the tingling turned into actual  _ pain _ . Which was definitely new. The last time Isak had felt physical pain was 300 years ago. It was so overwhelming that he blacked out for a moment, his knees giving in as he fell to the ground, his lifeless victim still in his arms. He squirmed under the pressure of the pain but kept his teeth sunk into its neck, unwilling to waste even a single drop of its deliciously rare blood.

The pain seemed to be spreading from somewhere in his shoulder and he cursed everything that he couldn’t just enjoy his feast. He let go of his victim when the pain went to his head and it felt like it was going to explode.

Isak’s hand flew up to his shoulder and he prodded at it as if that would help. Maybe it did in so far that Isak realised — with quite some effort because the pounding of his head made it impossible to think clearly — the pain didn’t come from his shoulder at all. It came from farther down. From his collarbone.

Isak froze. He scrambled to expose his collarbone, looking at it from the corner of his eye. And then his gaze dropped to the body lying in the snow in front of him. Blood was trickling slowly from the wound at its neck, looking sickly against its blood-empty body and the brilliance of the snow.

White lips. Dark lashes fanned out against cheekbones.

Isak gripped at his collarbone desperately, the pain pounding through his body; he stopped breathing because that just seemed to make everything worse. There was a pricking behind his eyes.

The last drops of blood that this body still held running into the snow — wasted,  _ lost _ — had Isak as fascinated as it had him feeling nauseous.

There was panic rising in his chest.

Isak had killed his soulmate.

He scratched at his skin, trying to focus enough to get at least one clear thought. He felt completely lost; he’d never felt guilty about any of his kills. Not a single one in 300 years — not even his very first one. So what was this? Vilde would have known what to do. She could have told him what to do. Though it was pretty clear that there wasn’t anything  _ to _ do. He had one option and even that might be futile at this point.

And he definitely didn’t have the time to consult his best friend for it.

Isak still tasted his soulmate’s blood on his lips when he raised his own wrist to his lips, biting down. As soon as the blood started dripping out of the wound, he lifted his victims—  _ soulmate’s _ head into his lap so he could hold his wrist against his mouth, his blood coating chapped lips.

As expected, nothing happened.

Isak wasn’t sure it would work at all. 300 years and the only time he had ever turned another human into a vampire was fifty years ago. Under completely different circumstances.

Pale skin. Lips and neck stained red.

Isak gritted his teeth. He felt weak and raw but he still managed to get back up on his feet and scoop the boy up in his arms.

He ran back home, the front door crashing against the wall with the force of being kicked open.

Vilde stuck her head out of the guest room immediately, alerted by the noise. “What—“

Isak didn’t give her much more than a glance before he headed for his bedroom, putting the boy down on the mattress gently. He noticed his hands shaking when he pulled the duvet up to his chin, tugging him in carefully — as if he was sick and not doomed to die. 

It barely registered that Vilde had followed him, watching the scene play out quietly. Isak’s whole focus was on the boy. He went to the bathroom, coming back with a wet cloth to clean the mangled skin on his neck.

Isak was still shaking.

“Who is that, Isak?” Vilde whispered, as if she was afraid using a louder voice would startle Isak.

Isak ignored her, going back into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him. He stood in front of the mirror, glaring back at himself. After feeding on the body, Isak’s eyes should be their normal bright green with the specks of silver in them but it seemed the unnatural pain he’d been in countered that and his pupils were an intense silver as if he’d been starving for days. He pulled his sweater down to be able to get a good look at his collarbone again. His hand tightened into a fist around the fabric.

There was no doubt now.

The soulmate mark had three stages: the first one, that begun on the day of birth, had the date of the one day someone could meet their soulmate; the mark wasn’t moving but it seemed alive anyway. Then, on Soulmate Day, some kind of countdown appeared, showing the time like a digital clock as a reminder that the chance to meet the soulmate was limited. Which led to the third stage that could go two different ways; either, the time stopped changing at exactly the time fate brought the two soulmates together — 20:34 for Vilde — and it would stay like this for the rest of the person’s life or as soon as the clock struck midnight, the soulmate mark would disappear completely because any chance of meeting the person you were meant to be with was gone.

Isak had wanted for his soulmate mark to disappear.

But now he was stuck with it forever.

**21.11.2018 23:59**

It seemed like a big cosmic joke.

Except that Isak wasn’t laughing. “Fuck!” He cursed, just barely refraining from punching the mirror angrily.

If his soulmate died as a result of Isak’s attack, Isak would forever be reminded of his fuck-up. (That  _ if _ was more of a  _ when _ probably.) And all because he hadn’t been able to wait a couple more minutes to go hunting.

“Isak?” Vilde’s hesitant voice sounded through the bathroom door.

Isak heaved a deep sigh, telling himself to stay calm. Yelling at his best friend who had nothing to do with this mess of a situation wasn’t something he wanted to do. He splashed his face with cold water before opening the door.

Worry was etched into her features and she reached out to touch his arm carefully, seemingly fully prepared for him to lash out. “Are you okay? Is that…”

She didn’t dare finish that sentence but Isak hissed anyway, “Yes, that’s my fucking soulmate. Who I killed.”

“You don’t know that. You gave him your blood, didn’t you?” Vilde whispered.

Isak didn’t reply to that. He brushed past her, back into his bedroom to check on the boy again. He was still in the same state. Of course.

If someone asked Isak why he brought him home with him, he wouldn’t be able to give an answer.

It was only a matter of time until his victim would die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to give Marta some love over at her blog and if you like give me some kudos and comments <3


	5. † C H A P T E R   F O U R †

Nora’s death had come fast. There had been no real chance to fear for her life while sitting by her hospital bed and holding her hand, praying. The accident had happened and then she had been dead.

Isak couldn’t say he would prefer that same scenario again. He didn’t want this boy to be just  _ gone _ . There was no explanation for Isak feeling this way, nothing made sense. He would have been perfectly fine with knowing that someone out there might or might not be his soulmate but never meeting him. He could have lived with that.

But having him right in front of him, about to die, knowing  _ he _ killed him. Isak felt as if he was falling apart.

“Isak.” The door to his bedroom opened and Vilde stepped inside on quiet feet, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Isak shook her off.

He didn’t need her comfort and most of all, he didn’t deserve it.

“You’ve been sitting here for hours. Get some rest,” Vilde tried.

Isak squeezed his eyes shut. The prickling behind his eyes didn’t stop. He stubbornly ignored her, instead bringing his wrist to his mouth again, piercing the skin and holding it against the boy’s lips.

Nothing happened.

And Isak should have known. There had been no change ever since he had started doing this.

Vilde wasn’t giving up. “There’s no use being here. He will be in the same state still when you check on him again in the morning.”

And since when was Vilde an expert on this? There was more of a chance that the boy would be dead by morning and Isak would not let him die alone. This was his punishment: to see his soulmate die.

“It didn’t work this fast when you turned me, neither when you were turned, right? The incubation time is longer than a couple hours.”

“Vilde!” Isak exclaimed, wincing at his own loud voice. He sent the boy a look, hoping that against better knowledge, the noise might have woken him. It was pathetic how disappointed he was when he still lay as motionless as before. “For God’s sake,” He hissed, “Just stop talking.  _ Please _ .”

His best friend looked sad but Isak didn’t have it in him right now to apologise. She heaved a sigh, patting him on the back, and left the room again. Except that she came back moments later. Vilde didn’t say anything and just pressed a bottle into his hand before leaving again.

Isak emptied the blood quickly but he still felt strangely weak. He wondered if that had anything to do with his soulmate being almost dead. He pressed his hands against his face, squeezing his eyes shut.

_ What had he done? _

The night turned into morning and the boy’s condition remained the same.

Isak gave him more of his blood before he left his bedroom, needing a moment.

Vilde eyed him worriedly from the sofa. He had forgotten she was still here. “How are you?”

He gritted his teeth, refraining from snapping at her. “Thanks for the blood,” He told her dully instead of replying to her question. The answer was obvious anyway.

His best friend smiled timidly at him, shrugging, “Nothing to thank me for. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay… and that was the least I could do.”

Isak nodded. Reluctantly, he joined her on the sofa. When he sat down, he rested his head against her shoulder. He felt bone-tired. “Your plane is leaving soon, isn’t it?” He sighed, grabbing her hand and linking their fingers together. If she could just stay.

“Say the word and I’ll cancel the flight,” She whispered, squeezing his fingers, her free hand going into his hair to card her fingers through the curls soothingly.

The prickling behind his eyes got worse. Isak owned a small portrait of his mother but without it, he would have long forgotten what she had looked like; strangely enough, while he didn’t remember any of her features, sometimes small memories haunted him — of little things, unimportant gestures or words. With Vilde comforting him, he felt an aching at the sudden memory of his mother doing the same thing so many times when he had been younger.

Isak shook his head — in answer to her words and to get rid of his unwanted thoughts. He couldn’t be selfish and keep her away from her life longer when she had already interrupted it to be with him on his Soulmate Day. “Thank you, Vilde. But you should go home.”

Vilde nodded faintly. “Okay,” She agreed, “But I’m still here now, doing my best to make you feel better.”

That was impossible if she wasn’t able to magically wake up the boy but Isak smiled a little anyway at hearing the conviction in her voice.

It took him a while but he eventually plucked up enough courage to whisper, “Do you remember what it’s like to feel pain?” He shivered at the thought of what it was like to feel like literally being ripped apart last night.

Her fingers in his hair stilled. “I do… is this because of the boy?” She asked curiously, it was clear she didn’t quite get where he was going with this.

Isak gulped. “I haven’t felt pain in a long time. But when I met him— or like, when I killed him it was fucking painful, Vilde. Was it painful for you?”

She wanted to object, Isak could tell, wanted to tell him that he hadn’t killed the boy. But maybe she realised that it didn’t make much of a difference that he was still alive but would likely die soon. So she just answered his question. “Not when I met her,” The  _ but when I lost her _ went unsaid but Isak could hear it clearly, “But I also didn’t want to kill my soulmate.”

There was no judgement in Vilde’s voice — she got it; hunting and killing was in their nature, she did it as much as him and there was nothing to feel bad about — but Isak was miserable anyway. Apparently, as much as he hated the concept of soulmates, fate had other plans for him and punished him with feelings now.

When Vilde realised he wasn’t going to keep having that conversation with her — he was too in his own head to focus on anything really — she murmured, “Can you promise me something?”

There was only one thing she could want from him and he hated it but he nodded anyway, “Okay.”

Vilde hugged him close. “When I’m gone, don’t waste your time sitting by his side. It doesn’t help him and it sure as hell doesn’t help you.”

They stayed entwined with each other for a long time, Isak pushing the itch of wanting to go back to the boy aside and just focusing on the comfort Vilde gave him.

“I have to go to the airport,” His best friend eventually mumbled.

Isak froze. He had known this was coming but it didn’t make it easier. “Okay,” His voice was shaky, “I’ll call you a cab.”

Vilde pulled away from him, brow furrowed. “Can’t you come with me?”

Immediately, Isak’s gaze darted to the closed bedroom door.

“ _ Please _ , Isak.”

He tore his eyes away from the door and looked back at his best friend. He had said he wouldn’t obsess over the boy dying — which, admittedly, he already was doing — and Vilde  _ was _ the most important person in his life. “I’m coming with you,” He sighed, smiling when she screeched and smacked a kiss against his cheek.

Before they left for the airport, Isak went back to give the boy more of his blood; he knew it was hopeless and there wasn’t any use to give him more but Isak couldn’t  _ not _ do it either. “Please don’t die while I’m gone,” He whispered, unable to stop himself from carding his fingers through the boy’s matted hair.

He went to meet Vilde by the door, a forced smile on his lips that his best friend obviously didn’t buy but she also didn’t comment on it.

 

Isak hated goodbyes. It was one of the reasons why he didn’t have many friends — if he didn’t socialise with people, he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to them. Vampires being friends with humans was complicated anyway and he never let them close enough to miss them when the inevitable moment came that he had to leave them; and he always had to because at some point, they’d notice how he didn’t get older so he escaped the situation before that, disappearing from their lives as if he had never existed in the first place. He hated that, so he rarely did it.

Saying goodbye to Vilde was hard on a different level. He loved her with all his being and he knew they’d see each other again, but they had their own lives and sometimes they didn’t see each other for a while. (With the amount of time Isak had been on this earth, it was never explicitly  _ long _ but it sucked anyway to be parted from his best friend for only a couple of months.) Letting her go when he really needed her was the worst.

But he let her go through security check after a long, tight hug and her whispered encouragement of, “It’s going to be okay. I’m only a call away, you hear me?” It was lovely as it was futile.

Isak went straight back home. He did remember his promise to Vilde, and he planned to keep it, but he argued that the day was almost over and he could sulk about the departure of his best friend a little. He’d start making good on that promise tomorrow.

He shed his coat and shoes and went to change into more comfortable clothes in his room. And then he sat down again by his bed, staring at the boy as if willpower alone got him to do  _ something _ . He hoped that this really only was the time he needed to transform into a vampire but at this point, he’d take anything even if it meant the boy dying. Isak just couldn’t stay in this desperate state of not knowing what was going to happen anymore.

It suddenly hit him that maybe the boy was his soulmate but not the other way around. Maybe the boy was just that lucky. He had never heard of such a case in his 300 years — sure, there had been women and men alike who had tried to fake their soulmate mark in an attempt to convince Isak that they had been meant to be with him but there had never been actual cases of soulmate marks differing. It seemed the only time fate had fucked up was when it had given Isak a mark 300 years from his birth date.

It was considered rude to look at someone’s mark without their consent but Isak figured it was also considered rude to want to kill someone — your soulmate no less — so he reached out to pull the boy’s collar down.

Only to find it bare.

For a second, he felt relief flooding him. The boy was lucky enough to not be cursed with Isak as a soulmate. But then he remembered Vilde and Nora with their tattoos on their finger and ankle respectively, and that the soulmate marks could be anywhere on the body. Without thinking much of it, he bared the boy’s arms, checking for a mark.

Without success.

He jumped out of his seat, pacing the room. There was nothing that justified him looking anywhere else on the boy’s body. Hell, he’d already gone too far as it was.

Isak heaved a sigh and sat back down, silently praying and begging for the boy’s forgiveness should he wake up again. Isak had never cared for a mere human’s forgiveness but this boy was his soulmate so maybe he deserved some more respect than anyone else.

 

Friday morning came in the blink of an eye. Isak had not gotten any rest during the night and he had strained his ears all night for any sounds from his bedroom while he had taken the bed in the guest room with no intention of actually trying to get into the sleep-like state.

His two days of paid soulmate leave were over and he was supposed to go back to work. It seemed like the biggest risk to leave the boy alone but he had a job to get back to and, as Vilde had insisted, he couldn’t do much here anyway.

The incubation time for Vilde’s and his transformation had been about four days and if they considered that the boy was blood-empty, it might take even longer. So  _ if _ he woke up again, it would be on Sunday at the earliest.

Isak got dressed and drank a bottle of B positive for breakfast, putting a bottle of O negative in his messenger bag for lunch. Before he left, he gave his soulmate some of his blood again.

Teaching a bunch of seven-year olds about the sciences was never something Isak particularly saw himself doing but he had been a teacher at this school for about five years now and he loved every single one of the annoying little beasts he taught. (They were easier to handle than grown-ups and he didn’t mind being around them as much as older humans.) He probably had another two to three years before his colleagues began questioning his youthful appearance that somehow made him look like barely twenty — which he  _ was _ , technically — and he had to look for a new job, starting over again.

When he entered the classroom, it didn’t take long for the ruckus to die down but instead of sitting down at their tables, the kids gathered around his desk, looking at him with big, curious eyes. “Isak!” One brave soul spoke up after a moment, “Did you meet your soulmate while you were gone?”

It was a common question for any teacher who was gone for a couple of days — though Isak had never heard it before because he didn’t really do being sick — which wasn’t surprising considering those children grew up with the knowledge of one day finding their soulmate, if they hadn’t already on the rare occasion that their soulmate turned out to become their best friend first. As their sciences teacher, Isak had covered the soulmate system a couple of weeks ago. Maybe that was why they were extra excited.

“I did,” He admitted reluctantly, because it was impossible to lie to those hopeful faces.

Several of them gasped. “Tell us about your soulmate!”

Isak fidgeted nervously. There wasn’t a lot he could talk about. “It’s a boy,” He sighed, unbuttoning his shirt a little to expose his collarbone, “We met just before our time ran out.”

Another round of gasps. Isak couldn’t help but smile. “How did you meet? Is he nice? Do you like him? Do you kiss?” That last question made most of them pull grimaces and make disgusted noises. It was adorable and Isak could almost pretend he wasn’t in the most fucked up situation the soulmate system had ever seen.

He made up some story about meeting him on the street on his way home from a friend’s house and told them he’s the nicest, loveliest boy he’d ever met because he supposed that was what they wanted to hear and finished with, “Kisses are  _ eugh _ . And now we’re actually getting some work done!”

The kids giggled happily, echoing, “Kisses are  _ eugh _ .” But luckily, they also didn’t complain too much when he started on the actual topic, even though they snuck in some more questions about his soulmate.

When the question of “Can we meet him, Isak?” came up, Isak froze. He didn’t even know if he got to meet him himself — and the version of the boy he had dreamed up for his kids made him twice as sad because he’d really like to find out if he’d be like he imagined him to be or completely different.

After work, he called Vilde right away. He just needed to hear his best friend’s voice for a bit. At first she humoured him with the smalltalk he had roped her into but eventually, she just cut him off with an imploring, “How are you, Isak? Really?”

And then it just burst out of him how the children had asked him about the boy and how miserable he felt. “How fucked up has fate to be to give me a Soulmate Day date hundreds of years from when I was born and when that day finally comes, I kill him?” There was a reason he never wanted to believe in this awful system.

Vilde didn’t have an answer for him and she got extremely quiet afterwards — Isak realised with a wince that she had lost her soulmate after only a couple of months with her so she probably had her own thoughts about fate fucking them over.

 

He got his answer a couple days later.

Fate was  _ really _ fucking fucked up.

Isak returned from work on Tuesday, going through the motions of arriving home, changing into more comfortable clothes and grabbing a bottle of blood like he did every single day and then went to check up on the boy as had become routine as well.

He already had his wrist to his lips, ready to give the boy his daily dose of vampire blood when he stopped in his tracks.

The bed was empty.

Isak swiftly turned around as if to find his soulmate casually lounging on the sofa — which, of course, he wasn’t. He walked slowly into the bedroom, almost in a daze, when his brain caught up with the scene in front of him. 

It was like the scene of a crime. The duvet was bunched up in a bloody ball at the end of the bed, revealing the mattress being soaked with dark red, almost black, blood. Isak did not appreciate seeing blood outside of his meals. It was gross and Isak didn’t know what to make of it. It looked like someone had been slaughtered in his bed.

Maybe the boy had woken up and had brought a victim back here to kill it. Though it wasn’t likely. Isak remembered his first kill and it had been messy but there had been no chance for him to pull himself together enough to have dragged his victim to a different place before feasting on it.

Worst of all: the boy wasn’t  _ here _ .

So either there was a newly-turned vampire on the loose.

Or someone had slaughtered the boy.

Isak grabbed the doorframe to steady himself, a wave of pain shooting through him as it had done when he had tried to kill him. There was only one option who he could think of that would be out to slaughter his soulmate.

He scrambled for his phone before he even consciously made the decision to do so. “Vilde. There’s a problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it <3


	6. † C H A P T E R   F I V E †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings in the end notes

His eyes flew open, he was panting. At this rate he’d soon hyperventilate. 

He remembered pain.

Sharp, tearing, excruciating pain.

And then darkness.

An abyss of all-encompassing blackness.

He had crashed.

That was the only sensible explanation for it. He didn’t remember anything of the past few days — before he had crashed and afterwards. But that was nothing new. He’d been there before.

He blinked up at the ceiling, making out every last tiny vein of the wooden boards of the ceiling as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

What  _ was _ new was the sudden lurching of his stomach that made him sit up quickly but before he could move more, he gagged and coughed up blood.

His eyes widened and he started panicking again. He was throwing up dark blood, drenching the duvet he had balled up in his hands in seconds. Tears were pricking his eyes as he kept heaving, coughing into the duvet as he held it to his face until it was so soaked that the blood started dripping from it.

This was easily the most terrified he had ever been in his life. He’d been on the highest highs and lowest lows, had mentally and physically hurt people he loved and had hurt himself just as much. But none of those emotions came close to the terror he was feeling right now.

For a second he felt like he was drowning in all the blood and he started coughing violently which just made more blood spill from his lips.

By the time he finally calmed down, his clothes, his skin, the sheets, the mattress, everything was soaked in blood and he was shaking uncontrollably. He felt like crying and there were sobs leaving his throat but the actual tears stayed out.

He scrambled off the bed, pulling his blood-drenched clothes off in a frenzy, bunching them up with the soiled duvet. It didn’t even occur to him that he was in a completely unfamiliar bedroom when he opened drawers in a panic to find clothes that weren’t ruined.

The first shirt he found, he used to wipe his face and arms as clean as possible because he didn’t plan to go to the bathroom where he’d have to look in a mirror. He chucked it aside carelessly and put on sweats that went down to just above his ankles and a random hoodie.

He felt as if he was going to collapse any second but that did not keep him from getting out of there as quickly as possible. Out of the unfamiliar room, the unfamiliar flat, away from the unfamiliar street. He blindly ran until he found a tram stop, breathing a sigh of relief when a tram approached right as he did and it turned out it was the right one.

Bundled up in his coat and scarf, his beanie pulled deep into his forehead, his face was barely visible which was probably a good thing because he didn’t count on there not being any blood smudges anymore and it seemed as if people were already staring at him weirdly anyway — he couldn’t even take offence in that because he was aware of how pale he must look and he was shaking like crazy, perfectly miming a drug addict. And he felt like it too.

When the tram came to a halt at his stop, he all but ran out of there. He walked through the familiar neighbourhood but it did nothing to calm his nerves.

He walked to the kollektiv where he lived with Sonja and their friends, ringing the doorbell in a trance. He didn’t have the presence of mind to use his own key.

The door opened a moment later and Sonja screeched, “Even! What the fuck— where have you been? We haven’t heard from you in a week! Why didn’t you pick up the phone?”

She bombarded him with questions that he couldn’t make enough sense of to answer.

“Fuck. Come inside, you have some explaining to do!” Her tone was scolding and this familiarity was soothing after all.

They were alone in the flat and Even was glad for it. He was completely out of it and their other two flatmates were more Sonja’s friends than his (he had the suspicion that Sonja had only pitied him back when he had desperately looked for a place to stay, which was why he had been allowed to move into her kollektiv) so he wouldn’t have been comfortable with them around right now.

“Where have you been?” Sonja repeated, sitting them down on the sofa. She went to unwind the scarf from around his neck, treating him like a child as she so often tended to. 

It was comforting but he’d also rather not have her see more of him. So he brushed her away, holding her arms down on her lap. “Don’t,” He whispered, voice hoarse with disuse.

She sighed, turning her arms so she could hold on to him as well. She winced. “You’re freezing.”

Even didn’t feel the cold, he was too preoccupied to do so, but it was a good excuse to keep wearing his layers inside. “Yeah.”

“Even, what is going on,” Sonja’s voice took on an urgent tone now.

He’d really like to know the answer to that. “I don’t—“

In typical Sonja fashion in situations like this — though arguably there had never been a situation like  _ this _ before — she interrupted him, “Your eyes, Even. They’re— fuck, did you take something? Drugs? Do you really think when weed isn’t good for you, you can just go around and—“

“ _ Sonja _ !” Even hissed, holding onto her tighter when she tried to wriggle out of his grasp, “I did  _ not _ take drugs.” He wasn’t a hundred percent sure on that, he could have done  _ anything _ in that manic episode he had no recollection of but that was probably not the best thing to tell Sonja.

She glared at him, there was no indication in her eyes that she believed him. “Then why are you dodging my questions? What has happened since you took off like a completely obsessed person the  _ minute _ the clock went past midnight on Wednesday?”

Right. His Soulmate Day. In the whirlwind of what had been going through his head ever since he woke up, he had totally forgotten. He sunk his teeth hard into his bottom lip. Somewhere along the line he had gone completely off his rocker and now he’d be without his soulmate forever because of that. 

Sonja obviously thought that his obsession with finding his soulmate had been a sign that he had gone into an episode and at this point, Even considered that he had done exactly that. But he’d have wanted to find his soulmate in time with or without an episode. What Sonja didn’t get in her perfect little world with her dream job and dream soulmate that was basically handed to her on a silver platter was that the soulmate system was  _ everything _ to Even because it meant he could find the one single person that would accept him with everything he came with. Including his bipolar disorder. (For the most part, he had made his peace with the illness some time ago but it was still a relief to know that it wouldn’t matter at all to that one person.)

And now this chance was gone.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, Sonja kept ranting, “Were you with your dumbass friends? Did you smoke up with them  _ for days  _ because they have absolutely no sense of what is right and wrong when it comes to your illness?”

Even closed his eyes, taking a couple steadying breaths. He came here for exactly this, a feeling of normalcy when everything seemed out of control. There was no use in screaming at her now. However, he couldn’t just completely let her trample over him  _ and _ his friends. “Do not call them dumbasses,” He hissed, “At least they don’t try to control me.”

Sonja was unfazed. She had heard that argument a million times before, oftentimes said with more malice than right now. “I’m not trying to control you,” She said calmly, as she always did, “I’m trying to protect you. I’m taking care of you.”

There was a fine line between taking care of someone and controlling them and Sonja had crossed that line a million times.

“Did you at least find your soulmate?” She asked because she realised she wasn’t getting anywhere with the accusations.

Even jerkily shook his head. “I didn’t find them,” He sounded defeated, “Or I don’t remember if I did. I don’t think I did.” The words had just tumbled out without his intention.

Naturally, Sonja was right back on his case. “Because you were too  _ high _ to have any memories of the past few days,” Her voice was eerily calm. It was clear that she referred to him either being on whatever drugs she thought he’d used or because he had been manic — Even wasn’t sure if it made much of a difference to her which one it ended up being.

He let go of her to start pacing the living room because he felt restless, on edge. He didn’t particularly like the idea of remembering what he had been up to the past couple of days but having some recollection of it would at least put his mind a little at ease.

“Did you get any sleep? Maybe we should talk later so you can catch up on some sleep first,” Sonja suggested, though Even figured it was meant as more of a demand.

He shook his head and kept pacing. “I stayed at a friend’s place.” Wherever he had been, it wasn’t anyone he knew,  _ definitely _ not a friend and the memory of waking up just to throw up blood wasn’t one he’d like to revisit either. But that wasn’t important right now. The answer should be enough to appease Sonja.

However, they’d probably known each other for too long and she knew all his little tricks by now. “But did you also  _ sleep _ ?” She pressed, “And what kind of friend anyway? Mikael?”

Of course wanting to know every detail of Even’s life during those past couple days was  _ not _ controlling at all. He gritted his teeth, not wanting to go back into the endless fight of if she really tried to control him or not. “It was someone you don’t know,” Passive-aggressively, he added, “You don’t know everything about my life, Sonja.” Technically,  _ he _ also didn’t know that supposed friend of his. But again, that was something Sonja didn’t have to know.

“My point stands. You can’t just disappear off the face of earth for almost a week and not let any of us know where you are!” She babied him again.

It had felt like the only option to go to Sonja after whatever he had been through but maybe he should have seen Mikael instead or really any of the boys — they would have been much more laid back. “The boys knew where I was!” He insisted, though the only thing that would do was that they would turn in circles again.

They were good at that. Throwing accusations and insults at each other.

Sonja heaved a sigh and Even almost hoped that this was the point were she gave up but she just repeated the same old bullshit. “You’ve disappeared for days, the boys know better than to keep something like that from us. Even, I’m sorry, I don’t believe you. I know what this is, we’ve been here before and you lying so obviously just proves my point. I’m going to call your parents.”

Even’s eyes widened despite having expected it to go this way. “No!” He yelled. In a swift movement, Even crossed the room and sat back down on the sofa, holding on to her arms like before to keep her from moving. Even knew how bad it looked right now; he did consider that he had taken drugs that had made him black out and that he was still manic even though there had been no signs of him going into an episode before but whatever it was, he did not want his parents involved.

Sonja struggled against his grip. “Even,” She pleaded, “I don’t know what else to do. You’re  _ scaring _ me!”

_ I’m scaring myself, _ He wanted to scream at her. Instead, he just held on to her tighter.

“Even,” She gasped, looking down at where he was gripping her before meeting his gaze again, “What is going on?” This time, there was no accusation in her voice, only desperation.

Even didn’t understand why he wasn’t crying yet. “I don’t know what’s happening with me,” He whispered, trying to make her understand. There was no fight left in him, he just wanted it to  _ stop _ .

The pain in her eyes intensified. This was much too reminiscent of when he had gone through his first full-blown manic and then depressive episode. She was aching for him and for the first time in a long time, Even realised that all the things she did to him were her way of making sure he was okay. Her being so controlling came from a place of love and support and she just didn’t know where to draw the line in caring for him.

He was jerked out of his reverie when she suddenly yelped in actual pain. “Even,” she gasped, “You’re hurting me.” She tried to tug her arms out of his grasp but he was too strong for her.

Even was shaking. “Don’t call them,” He begged, desperately. He couldn’t let go of her until she promised him.

“Even,  _ please _ . You’re hurting me,” Sonja sobbed, tears streaming down her face now.

Even felt his heart beating frantically in his chest, so loud that it was resounding in his head. It was so intense that he couldn’t focus on anything else. Just the desperate pounding of a heart. His eyes found Sonja’s again but he was quickly distracted by the rabbiting of her pulse in her neck. It was hypnotising to watch and Even wanted to press his lips against it to  _ feel _ it too.

It dawned on him that he wasn’t feeling and hearing his own heartbeat in his head but somehow, Sonja’s seemed loud and frantic enough to be audible for him. He closed his eyes, letting the pounding overtake his senses and suddenly there was something else— he imagined the sweet rushing of blood through her veins and his focus on her pounding heart and her flowing blood was so overwhelming that he thought he could almost  _ taste _ it on his tongue.

“E-even!” Sonja yelled panicked, “Please let go of me. It  _ hurts _ !”

Even looked down to where he was holding her in a trance and realised with a start that he had dug his fingernails so deep into her skin that he had drawn blood. He was breathing more heavily, staring mesmerised at the beautiful dark drops against her pale skin. 

He wanted to know what it would feel like against his lips.

Sonja tried to jerk out of his grip again and only by sheer luck (and Even distracted by fantasising about tasting her blood) managed to pull free.

Even blinked a couple of times as he watched her covering the wounds on her arms with her hands. Dread started to pool in his stomach.  _ What had he been about to do? _

“What is  _ wrong _ with you?” Sonja screamed, curling in on herself. Gone was the confident woman Even knew and loved, she was just utter fright now.

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Even breathed, the pricking behind his eyes back. He jumped out of his seat and left the flat abruptly.

He had hurt Sonja. And he hated himself for it.

Blindly, he took the tram back to where he had come from, no idea what he was going to do because everything seemed hopeless and he didn’t understand anything. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore. 

His panic quickly boiled over into anger and by the time he had made it back to the flat he had stayed at — by pure muscle memory it seemed — he was raging.

Someone just left the building so he slid through the door, stomping up to the right floor where he smashed his fists violently against the door. “Open up!” He yelled.

Surprisingly, a distraught-looking boy opened the door a moment later.

White lips and dark lashes fluttering against pale skin.

Something stirred in him. A faint memory of those same lips and lashes but he couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from.

“Who are you and what the fuck is happening with me?” Even screamed and the boy winced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: Even is throwing up A LOT of blood; mentions of bipolar disorder
> 
> Let me know what you thought! <3


	7. † C H A P T E R   S I X †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another round of drawings from Marta can be found [here](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/post/171380791969/for-his-love-to-flee-by-wyo-for-the-skam-big) <33

Time was a funny concept. Having lived for 300 years, a year didn’t seem more than the blink of an eye and yet it seemed like forever that Isak had been pacing the bedroom — even though it was only hours — after his conversation with Vilde in which they had ruled out that the boy had been killed. Isak let himself be convinced of that after Vilde had insisted that he had reacted quite similarly when he had been turned.

It meant the imminent threat of his past catching up with him was gone.

However, the boy was newly turned, probably confused and scared. And very deathly.

Isak considered to go out and look for him but while Oslo wasn’t as big as, say, New York City, the chances of finding the boy were pretty slim. Isak had no idea about his life; where he lived, what his favourite spots in the city were. It would be a hopeless mission.

He sank down on the sofa, elbows propped up on his thighs as his hands tugged on his hair in frustration. He had thought the waiting would be over as soon as the boy woke up. Obviously, that was not the case. His throat and eyes burned with the ache of wanting to know his soulmate was safe.

Isak almost hoped for him to lose control and leave behind a trail of murderous destruction. It would make it easier to find him. Try to explain. What did Isak care about possible human victims? He could worry about the mess the boy had left behind later — when he was safe with him.

There was frustration mixed in with the fear. He was frustrated because he couldn’t _not_ care about the boy. Soulmates had meant nothing to Isak, they had seemed like an inconvenient little game played by fate but now his whole being was strumming with worry for a boy he didn’t know — just because his mark had frozen when he had met him.

The worst thing was, he knew what it felt like to be in this situation, to be at the other end like the boy. Isak had been there. He had woken up out of his coma, confused that he hadn’t been dead and he had been so scared — of his maker and what had been going on with him so he had bolted.

And had never looked back.

It had been the best decision of his life, so Isak would _understand_ if the boy decided not to return, knew it could seem like the only option at times, but he’d spend the rest of his existence miserably hoping he’d find him again among eight billion people.

Isak pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, letting a scream sound through the empty flat.

He took a moment to pull himself together before restlessly getting to his feet again. Pacing the room, he eventually ended up at the fridge. He downed the first bottle quickly and then two more. It wasn’t as satisfying as going on the hunt but he was scared to leave the flat.

Who would have thought that one day, he’d voluntarily stay locked up.

Not that he didn’t feel caged in.

If Isak’s heart were still beating, it would stop doing so the second angry fists rapped against the front door. He was momentarily thrown back three centuries when the town’s shire reeve nearly tore the door to his family’s home down, an angry mob in tow.

“Open up!” The shire reeve’s gruff bark was still painfully clear on Isak’s mind and it let him break out in a cold sweat.

He looked for an escape but there was none — as there hadn’t been back then. His fists clenched at his sides and he hated that breathing wasn’t necessary for him because as he tried to get himself under control, it did nothing to calm him down.

With clammy hands and wide eyes, he slowly approached the door, the pounding on the ramshackle door ringing in his ears. He could hear his mother’s whimpering behind him but he didn’t dare turn around to look at her, didn’t want her to see the fear in his eyes.

He should have known this was coming. They had been reckless. He could already feel the cold, wet darkness of the hole they’d throw him into in the town square on his skin. Gritting his teeth, he prayed for forgiveness and wrenched open the door.

To his surprise, Isak wasn’t faced by a dozen filthy townsmen wanting him dead. Instead, eyes the most brilliant shade of blue he’d ever seen blazed at him in anger. Their beautiful colour was only intensified by the silver pupils indicating a severe lack of blood.

Isak had a hard time snapping out of the unexpected crippling flashback he had just suffered from when the boy was already yelling at him. “Who are you and what the fuck is happening with me?”

Isak winced, the last remnants of that painful memory slipping from his mind. He had every intention of answering all his questions but they definitely shouldn’t do it halfway in the hallway. This was not be suited for human ears. “Come inside, I’ll explain everything,” He mumbled, feeling nervous and shaken.

It seemed that he wanted to object for a second but then he nodded curtly, brushing past Isak harshly with a strength that would knock anyone else off their feet.

“Why did I wake up here with no recollection of what had happened before? Who are you? What did you give me?” Even bombarded him with questions, pacing like Isak had done not long ago.

There was a low buzzing in Isak’s stomach as he slowly realised the boy had actually come back. He was here, and he looked alright despite the definite lack of blood — or he looked fine where Isak could make him out under layers of clothes.

Isak tried to sort out his thoughts and where to start first so while doing that, he got them each a bottle of blood. He held one out to the boy who eyed it warily.

He shook his head jerkily. “I’m not drinking that. It could be anything. You could drug me again!” He hissed.

That was fair, he had every right to be suspicious. Nevertheless, Isak tried his best not to roll his eyes. “I’m not trying to drug you,” He promised, though it probably didn’t mean much to the boy, “What does it look like to you?” He waved the bottle in front of his face again before taking a sip of his own.

The boy’s brows were still furrowed but he took the bottle. “A… smoothie?” He asked dumbfounded, for a moment forgetting his anger.

Isak’s shoulders sagged in relief. “A smoothie,” He confirmed. This small little lie would hopefully be forgiven — he didn’t think the boy would drink it if he told him outright what it actually was.

“Now talk,” The boy said through gritted teeth, aggressively lifting the bottle to his lips.

Isak saw the exact moment the blood hit his lips. His eyes widened and he paused for a second, the wheels in his head turning as he tried to figure out what he was drinking and why it was so fucking good. The bottle was emptied in the blink of an eye and when Isak held out his own, the boy took it greedily, finishing it off just as fast. With how parched he was, that was really no surprise.

“I have more,” He offered quietly, worried that momentarily peaceful expression would vanish from his face.

Luck seemed to be on Isak’s side for now — a nice change — as the boy nodded eagerly. Isak took the empty bottles from him, dropping them carelessly in the sink and grabbed fresh blood from the fridge.

Isak knew he was testing his luck when he told the boy, “I’m Isak… what’s your name?”

The boy’s eyes were slowly returning to their (now) normal colour: the silver disappearing from his pupils to the icy blue of his irises. Isak’s time was running out and he hadn’t yet figured out what to say.

“We can sit down,” He suggested, gesturing at the sofa. Right now they were awkwardly standing in the middle of the flat and Isak’d just rather sit down for that conversation.

The boy followed Isak there but after drinking his fourth bottle of blood, the mistrust was returning, anger blazing in his eyes again when he slowly unwound the scarf from around his neck and unzipped his coat. “Talk,” He repeated.

Isak tried not to stare at the faint blotches of blood staining his pale skin. Seeing as he’d returned here blood-drained — Isak shuddered at the reminder of last Wednesday — the blood on his skin couldn’t come from a victim. It still didn’t quite explain what had happened in the bedroom.

Isak heaved a sigh. “We met on Wednesday,” He started carefully, though _met_ wasn’t the entire truth. Easing them into this seemed smarter though. “And then I took you home.” Isak winced; this was the worst attempt at an explanation anyone had ever heard.

The boy’s expression turned from concentrated to wide-eyed to pure rage. He jumped to his feet again, going two big steps and then returning, glowering at Isak. His voice was loud and upset when he shouted, “Wednesday! That was my fucking Soulmate Day!”

“So yeah, I kind of…” _Planned to kill you._ Isak trailed off, that did not seem like the right approach. God, he was bad at this. If only Vilde were here right now.

“You _what_ ?” The boy spat, flailing his arms around, “Whatever you did to me made me lose the one chance to meet my soulmate!” He yanked up his hoodie — Isak’s hoodie actually, he just now realised — jabbing a finger into his ribs, “I had _one_ chance, and now everything is ruined! _You_ ruined it.”

Isak didn’t think the boy was aware that there was still a mark on his skin. Unless he had figured out that Isak was his soulmate and he absolutely loathed it. But it seemed more likely that he was convinced he had never gotten the chance to meet his soulmate and thought he had to live without one now.

For Isak, the boy exposing his ribs to him meant he got the painful confirmation of what he had hoped the boy would be spared: they were soulmates.

Their marks were identical.

**21.11.2018 23:59**

“I’m sorry,” Isak whispered, looking down at his folded hands in his lap, “I’m sorry this is such a mess and I’m sorry I’m your soulmate.”

The boy froze, the colour draining from his cheeks. “What,” He gasped, blinking at Isak rapidly as he tried to understand the words. His gaze dropped to his ribs and when he caught sight of the mark, the hoodie slipped out of his hands. “What,” He repeated.

There was no going around it now, Isak had to tell him. “I didn’t plan for us to meet… like that,” He planned to not meet at all but from the few glimpses he got at the boy’s stance on the whole soulmate system, he realised he had some big hopes in it and Isak wasn’t going to ruin that as well, “I was desperate and you were there and I—“ _Wanted to kill you_ , “I couldn’t let you die.”

Isak didn’t think the boy’s expression could get more disbelieving but here they were and he was clearly not understanding a single bit. “Couldn’t let me… die,” He whispered to himself, panic flickering in his gaze. He closed his eyes, taking a couple deep breaths — Isak guessed he hadn’t yet realised that he didn’t actually have to breathe. The seconds ticked by and suddenly his eyes flew open again and his hand covered the spot where Isak now knew his soulmate mark was. “You!” He pointed accusingly at Isak, who wiggled around in his seat uncomfortably. “You’re the boy— did you _attack_ me?” He backed farther away from Isak, “ _Fuck_ , and I came back here!”

Isak grimaced. This was not going as he had hoped. “This is not what it looks like,” He tried the most cliched line there ever was.

The boy huffed, almost at the door now. “My soulmate wants to murder me. Fate must really be out to get me.” A sickly laugh left his lips.

Okay, so maybe it was what it looked like. “Wanted,” Isak blurted, “I _wanted_ to kill you but I told you, I couldn’t let you die! I’m a vampire and I— you’re one too now?” The words just rushed out and Isak could already see this turning into the biggest of messes but he couldn’t stop himself either. He was desperate here.

People tended to either think you’re crazy or wanted to put a stake through your heart depending on the century they were in. So Isak usually refrained from telling anyone about what he was. The boy belonged in the first category; he stared at him, jaw dropped before he shook himself out of it and yelled, “What the _fuck_ are you on?”

Isak winced, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of a way to salvage this situation. “Uh, well…” He stuttered, flailing his arms around. This was a fucking train wreck. “Come with me,” He eventually said, having gotten an idea.

The boy squinted his eyes. “Why would I?”

Isak rolled his eyes. This boy was making this deliberately harder. “Because I’m going to explain to you what’s going on.”

That shut him up but he still glared at Isak. Though grudgingly, he followed Isak who led him to the bathroom.

When the boy stopped in the doorway, refusing to step farther inside, Isak made a movement to tug him inside but thought better of it at the last second. “Come here,” Isak beckoned him over and when the boy didn’t he just continued, “You see my eyes? The green seems pretty unnatural, huh? Not to mention those silver pulsing specks. My eyes always look like that, and not due to some obscure drug. If you just look in the mirror, you’ll see that yours are the same.” He realised that the boy had no reason to believe that drugs weren’t involved but he had to try anyway.

In case he didn’t quite believe him, Isak bared his teeth, his fangs protruding from the gums. In his own humble opinion, Isak thought he looked cute even with his fangs visible — in a grotesque kind of way. He raised his eyebrows at the boy, who seemed a mixture of horrified and intrigued. “I’m a vampire,” He repeated.

Hesitantly, the boy stepped into the bathroom completely, standing a safe distance from Isak but if he looked up, he’d be able to see his own reflection. Maybe he already knew more than he liked to admit if his reluctance to look at himself was anything to go by.

“It’s okay to be scared… I was too, in the beginning. But if you let me, I’ll help you through this. You’re not alone,” Isak whispered, meaning every word. That boy could hate him for all eternity and Isak would still give him as much support as possible. After all, it was his fault he was in that situation in the first place.

He was shaking beside Isak, breathing laboured. And then he slowly lifted his gaze, holding his breath when he stared back at himself. His hand reached up to touch the skin right under his eyes and he tried to comprehend what was going on.

“I turned you into a vampire because I couldn’t let you die. Because you’re my soulmate,” Isak whispered.

There wasn’t any reaction to those words from the boy as he just kept looking at himself. His blood-stained skin and unnatural eyes. For a moment, Isak could feel a small bond forming between them. A _we’re the same, we’re in this together_. Fragile, but there.

And of course it was ripped apart a second later, the shreds of what could have been hanging between them when the boy unfroze, looking away from his own reflection as he stepped toward the door. “You— you turned me into _this_ ,” He gasped, desperation and fear in his voice, “I’ll be like this forever? I’ll be stuck with my— my _head_ like this forever? I wish you would have let me die!” He turned around and Isak could hear a door opening and banging shut.

Isak needed a minute to get over the shock. Hearing the boy’s quiet, fearful accusation was worse than having him scream at him. He ran out of the bathroom, convinced he had lost his soulmate for good this time, that he had left the flat and was long gone, never to be seen again but then he heard gurgling sobs coming from his bedroom.

The boy was still here.

Isak wanted to go in there, apologise and promise he’d do anything to make it up to him while he knew there was nothing which could fix this. So he stopped before he could try to open the door that the boy had probably locked anyway. His hand rested against the door handle and he pressed his forehead against the door.

“I’m sorry. Please— I’m sorry, so sorry,” Isak whispered desperately.

Silence.

Until—

“You’re disgusting and a monster,” The boy hissed through the door, “Leave me the fuck alone.”

Isak’s throat was burning, his eyes pricking. Everything hurt.

He pushed himself off the door, barely holding himself together as he locked himself in the guest bedroom.

_You’re disgusting and a monster._

He had heard those words several times before but he knew that this time and the first time would be forever in his memory, ripping him apart.

He barely closed the door before he broke down, sliding down to the ground with his back against the door, cowering. He pressed his face against his bent knees, letting the force of his unshed tears shake him.

What might have been hours or just minutes later, Isak pulled his phone out of his jeans with quaking hands. “Vilde?” He croaked, voice breaking.

“Isak?” His best friend was immediately alerted, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Isak exhaled shakily. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about Nora.”

Vilde was clearly confused. “Where is this coming from? What are you talking about? Isak, you scare me.”

Isak shook his head, trying to sort out his thoughts. It was fifty years ago that Vilde had lost her soulmate, yet she had never asked Isak why he hadn’t turned Nora — they both knew he could have done it. But Vilde had never accused him of anything. With everything going to shit with the boy right now, and Isak finally understanding what it meant to have a soulmate, it felt like it was time to admit to some of his worst mistakes. “I’m sorry I didn’t turn Nora,” He breathed.

Down the line he heard Vilde’s breath hitch. “Isak…”

He squeezed his eyes shut and barrelled on, “I was scared, Vilde. I had never turned anyone and I didn’t want to kill my friend, _your_ soulmate. I thought maybe fate was on our side. That we’d get to the hospital in time, that they could save her. And I was scared that even if I succeeded in turning her, she wouldn’t want to be doomed to this life. Or what you would think. I’m sorry. I was selfish because I didn’t want to lose you.” He rocked himself back and forth, the guilt of being responsible for his best friend’s loss of her soulmate weighing him down. He was going to lose her — just like he lost everyone who mattered to him; just like he was losing the boy who was his soulmate.

“Isak,” Vilde repeated, and she swallowed hard, “I don’t know why you’re telling me this. I never expected you to turn her. I didn’t— Isak, you’re my _family_. I would never want to change anything about you having turned me. I love you, Isak, and if I didn’t know better, I’d be convinced you’re my soulmate. True, I did think about what it could have been like if you had turned Nora but I don’t blame you for not having done it. Please don’t feel bad about that.”

Isak squeezed the bridge of his nose, his eyes burning with tears he couldn’t cry. “Don’t say stuff like that. Don’t make it sound like you would choose me over Nora, we both know that’s a lie. Not even my soulmate loves me. I know it’s all on me but— I’ve never felt more alone.” If he were able to think more clearly, he’d be disgusted with himself about that pitiful self-loathing. But right in this moment, all he could think about was how he knew what it was like to be alone, he had been so many times throughout his existence but none of those times came close to what he felt right now. He kept disappointing everyone that mattered to him. His best friend… his soulmate.

“This is it,” Vilde sighed, “I’m coming back there right now. I’m not letting you wallow in self-pity. Isak, I love you. And you’re not alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give Marta all the love because she deserves it so incredibly much <333


	8. † C H A P T E R   S E V E N †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings in the end notes

A church was a place where the world and time stopped for a while. It didn’t matter when Isak stepped into one, be it during a war or peaceful times, in the 18 th century or in the 21 st , before the industrialisation of everything or after. The church remained the same.

Isak didn’t consider himself a particularly religious person. But some things had stayed with him through all 300 years of his existence; and one of them was going to church every Sunday for as long as he could remember. He had been born in a time where the Anglican church had become somewhat lax but it had never deterred his mother who had gone to services every week, taking him along with her and sometimes even his father had joined them despite having thought poorly of religion and the church. 

While Isak’s memories about his human life had faded, the feeling of peace whenever he entered a church remained. So of course Isak went to mass on Sunday morning even when he’d been a miserable excuse of a being for the rest of the week.

After his breakdown Tuesday night, he’d stayed on the floor in a trance, waiting for the moment he’d hear the front door shut for good.

That moment had never come.

But Isak had remained scared.

The thought of Vilde had been the only thing that had made him get up in the morning. He hadn’t been able to deter her from her idea of coming back — and quite frankly he hadn’t tried very hard — so he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her even more when she would arrive here and see how pathetic he actually was.

He had gone to work, going through the motions as always and when he had come back to the flat, he had found the bottle of blood he’d placed in front of his bedroom door gone.

It was a small comfort but at least it seemed like the boy was eating.

Vilde’s arrival on Thursday had been a relief. She hadn’t let Isak curl into himself and shut the world out, instead she had distracted him with her endless chatter and tireless ideas how to kill time. She’d showered him in love, not once giving him a chance to question if they were, in fact, family and she had even tried talking to their invisible flatmate, not giving up even when she had never gotten a reply.

At night, they’d curl up in bed, Vilde hugging him tightly to her chest and while she dropped off into the sleep-like state, he stayed awake but he appreciated being held anyway.

The pews next to him filled with people lowly chattering to each other, which jerked him out of his reverie. He muttered quiet  _ hello _ s and gave tentative smiles as he let the atmosphere in the church lull him into a false sense of security. His uncomfortableness that he hoped would soon vanish was of course due to everything that had happened in the past few days but also because he was in clothes that were memorabilia of different times that he had kept in the closet in the guest room; an itchy red turtleneck from the 40s and checkered pants belonging in the 60s era (as he didn’t have access to his actual clothes right now). The outfit didn’t necessarily scream  _ trip to the past _ but no man in his early twenties would be caught in it nowadays — men fifty and up, though? Isak looked around, cringing. He was officially an old man.

The priest entered the church and Isak rose with the rest of the congregation and his brain shut off as he sang and prayed.

_ Dear God, keep my mother safe. _

_ Forgive me for all my sins. _

_ Thank you for blessing me with Vilde. _

_ Let me be worthy of my soulmate. _

 

Vilde thought that it would be a good thing to show his soulmate that Isak really cared through doing nice things for him or offering up information about himself so she disappeared for a couple hours every day to give them some alone time.

Alone time meaning Isak despairing in front of a closed door. If it weren’t for the blood bottles he provided to the boy and that disappeared every time, Isak would think he’d have long since jumped out of the window.

But this time, Isak tried a different approach. He was tired of whispering apologies into the wood, getting nothing back — at this point, he’d rather have yelling than nothing at all. He went to the little supermarket at the corner of the street, buying some fresh garlic.

This just had to work.

Nobody could say no to a delicious meal, right? (Isak was pretty sure offering the boy to find a victim together was counterproductive so human food had to do and to be honest, the boy — even though having had nothing but blood for the last couple days — was still pretty much used to human food so he might actually appreciate the gesture.

He went to work, humming along to a song stuck in his head as he pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary.

When he was done with arranging the spaghetti in garlic oil on two plates — keeping a third serving for Vilde later — he picked them up, quickly considering his options: he could chicken out of it and just put the plate down by the bedroom door, having the food go cold until Isak slipped out of the room and the boy would sneakily get the plate or he could go through with his plan and ask him to join him.

Isak placed the plates on the table and went over to his bedroom, knocking gently. Quietly, he told the boy, “I made spaghetti. If you’re hungry,” He wouldn’t be but maybe he wanted to indulge in the food anyway, “You’re welcome to join me.” He went back to the kitchen area, taking two bottles out of the fridge and pouring them into  glasses, then he sat down in front of his plate. He waited a couple more minutes but there was no sound coming from the bedroom so he sighed dejectedly and started eating.

He was halfway through his plate when he heard the lock of his bedroom click and he froze immediately.

“That smells good,” The boy said as he tentatively came closer.

Isak told himself to remain calm, not looking at him like he could see the boy not looking at him from the corner of his eye. “It’s spaghetti in garlic oil. Enjoy,” He replied offhandedly.

He was pretty sure that would be all of the conversation he’d have but the boy surprised him when he asked, “Garlic? Isn’t that… you know, supposed to be bad for vampires?” So it seemed like he had accepted the vampire thing at least.

Isak breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t dare hope that this meant anything but it was making him feel more at ease anyway. He smiled quietly, explaining, “It’s not. I don’t know where that came from, that’s a tale older than I am but it’s definitely not harmful.” As if to prove his point, he brought the fork to his mouth.

That seemed to appease the boy and he started eating as well.

The room was dipped in uncomfortable silence and Isak glared at the bouquet of flowers that Vilde had brought home the other day and put in the middle of the table.

“They’re pretty,” The boy said out of the blue, making Isak wince with how unexpected that was.

Isak’s eyes shot up to him and Even was staring pointedly at the flowers. Isak shrugged, “My friend— best friend, Vilde, bought them. They wouldn’t survive long in my care.” Not his smartest move, maybe, talking about things dying in his vicinity.

“Why did you turn me?” His soulmate blurted. 

Isak almost choked on the spaghetti he just ate. He did, by no means, think that a simple meal got the boy over his anger but he did not expect it to strike at that moment. And he didn’t know how to handle that quiet, seething emotion that made him speak with a level voice. “I’m sorry,” Isak whispered because that was all he did nowadays — apologising. “I’m sorry I turned you,” He looked down at his hands that tightly held on to the cutlery, “I didn’t think. When I realised you’re my soulmate, my brain stopped functioning.” He inhaled shakily, “I couldn’t let you  _ die _ . I don’t know why… I never believed in the whole soulmate bullshit.”

If it was possible, the atmosphere in the flat turned even more icy. “So you don’t care about me,” The boy gritted out. It was a statement, not a question.

Something broke in Isak. Just five days ago he had so desperately wanted his soulmate to love him — he still did for some inexplicable reason — that he’d broken down. “I do!” He yelled desperately because he couldn’t have him think for even a second that he didn’t, “I care about you. And I wish I could have gotten to know you when you were human.”

The chair screeched over the floor when the boy pushed it back angrily, the fire back in his eyes.

Isak was on a whole new level of desperate so he kept going, following after him when he went back to the bedroom, “I want to know what you were like— before I fucked you up. Before the soulmate system fucked us up. I wish… I wish you could have met me when I was still human. Or maybe— maybe not because I was an insufferable, entitled asshole who thought nothing could hurt him but I ended up here and— this is not the point. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you miserable, my soul.”

The boy pushed the bedroom door open and turned around on his heels, spatting, “You’re still an insufferable, entitled asshole. Fuck you!” And then he slammed the door shut in Isak’s face.

Isak squeezed his eyes shut, the palm of his hand pressed flat against the closed door. He had run out of words. He winced when there was a banging at the door from the other side as if his soulmate knew that he was still there and wanted him gone.

“And don’t ever fucking call me  _ your soul  _ again. My name’s  _ Even _ for fuck’s sake,” He hissed, hitting the door again for good measure.

Isak just— he smiled, alright. This had been a disaster (as expected) but he fucking finally knew his soulmate’s name.

Even.  _ Even. _

He formed his lips around the name, silently testing what it felt like to say it.

When Vilde came back later, he was lying on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling, a quiet little smile still on his lips. He shot up in a sitting position when he heard the door opening. “I know his name,” He announced unceremoniously.

Vilde seemed perplexed, pointing at the closed bedroom door with her thumb and raising her eyebrow in question. “ _ His _ name?”

Isak nodded eagerly, explaining, “I made us dinner — there’s some left for you — and he came out to eat with me and then we got in a fight and I called him something he didn’t like so he told me his name.”

His best friend eyed him dubiously. “You’re calling him names now? Isak, I’m not sure that’s the best way to make him, you know…  _ like _ you.”

Isak shook his head, rolling his eyes. “No, I was— uh,” A blush rose on his cheeks, “I used some term of endearment on him. Accidentally. So, yeah.”

That made her snort. “Was it something embarrassing?” She asked, getting her plate of food and two bottles of blood for them before she joined him on the sofa, turning on the TV for background noise while they talked.

Isak cuddled up to her, wishing once again that they could just go back to living together.

 

Knowing his soulmate’s name finally gave Isak new strength to hang on. He didn’t want to hope too much but there was this tiny flicker that told him that maybe it wasn’t as hopeless as he had thought it would be. Maybe he’d get Even to not love but also not hate him at some point.

He didn’t try to cook for Even again, too scared of rejection but whenever he put a bottle of blood by his door, he muttered a quiet, “I put a bottle outside your room again. Even.” He felt warmth spread in his chest whenever he said his name so he used every excuse he got to do so.

Whenever Vilde gave them their “alone time,” Isak stopped falling apart against the closed door while apology after apology left his lips. Instead, he sat down with his back leaning against the wood and he started talking about whatever came to his mind. He told Even about Vilde and how they had met, about their friendship that was more of a familial bond, about more mundane things like his friend Magnus (“Well, Magnus insists on calling us that and I guess I’m quite fond of him.”) who worked in a blood bank and supplied Isak with the blood he kept in his fridge. That made him go off on a rant about how Magnus was convinced that Isak was part of a vampiric cult, which was why he needed all that blood and the guy was just entirely too fascinated by it. Isak told Even stories about the kids at school, their adorable and sometimes annoying antics and how they kept asking about his soulmate — he cringed at that because maybe it was too much but he didn’t get a reaction from Even anyway so it probably didn’t matter. Maybe Even had even found Isak’s earbuds and wasn’t listening to him at all.

It didn’t deter him. Isak came back the next day with more stories. More about his day at work and then that one time he had had a colleague over. Jonas, teaching social studies, was super laid back so when he arrived at Isak’s place, he immediately felt right at home and because Isak would have never expected a guest to just help themselves to his fridge, he hadn’t thought to put the blood away. Cue Isak not paying attention for a moment and Jonas had taken a large gulp of one of his “smoothies.”

Isak’s eyes had widened in horror while Jonas’ nose had scrunched up and he had stared at the half-empty bottle. “Dude, either your smoothies just taste weirdly strongly like iron or they’re expired,” He had said in the chillest tone — Isak tried to reenact that voice for Even but failed miserable. “And in my panic, I told him that I was chronically low on iron so my doctor suggested I try homemade smoothies with some iron supplement and fruits high on iron,” He finished the story.

He gasped when there was a low chuckle from the other side of the door. It was quiet again the next second but Isak was convinced it had been there. He hid his happy smile against his shoulder.

Isak made it two more days through anecdotes but he quickly realised that he didn’t go very  _ deep _ . Sure, Even knew more about his life now but not of the essential things that had made him who he was or what had brought him here. So this time, when he sat down on the floor, he opened with, “Today, I’m going to tell you about when I was an insufferable, entitled asshole.”

 

_ Isak had just turned nineteen, it was a gorgeous summer day and Isak wanted to get out of the house. His mother had one of her worse days where she didn’t stop talking about the apocalypse that was coming and his father had left him to deal alone with it while he had fucked off to the taverns down by the water. (He’d always feel called by the sea and Isak wondered if he sometimes resented his wife for having “made” him settle down in a different country where the only chance he got to be out on the water was to go fishing. Maybe he was just sick of her and her affliction in general though.) _

_ Isak went to the forest by the edge of their village where he knew he’d find the berries his mother liked so much. If he didn’t come back home empty handed, he later wouldn’t feel so bad about leaving when things got bad. _

_ It was quiet on the clearing, only the sounds of the wind rushing through the leaves and the chirping of birds audible. Isak felt himself come to rest, the picking of the berries a task mindless enough for Isak to work himself into a trance. He’d be spending hours like this, his shoulders and general posture less taut than they usually were. _

_ He wrapped the berries he plucked from the bushes carefully in linen, hoping it put a smile on his mother’s face when he presented them to her. When he went to pick more, his hand bumped into that of someone else. He looked up with wide eyes, surprised to find someone else here — this was his secret spot that the women of the village hadn’t yet discovered for their berry picking endeavours, or so he had thought. But instead of encountering one of the women, he was met with the warm smile of Julian Dahl, the village’s magistrate’s son. _

_ “Hello Isaac,” He greeted him, his pretty brown eyes sparkling. _

_ A face like Julian’s was hard to look away from and even harder to forget. His shaggy dirty blonde hair and a multitude of freckles splattered over his cheeks, nose and forehead made him look cute and innocent enough but more often than not there was a devious smirk on his full lips. _

_ Isak knew exactly where this was heading. He and Julian were by no means friends but acquaintances that fed off each other’s energy in social situations as if they were in a little game of who could court more young ladies. _

_ Neither of them ever left with any of those ladies though. _

_ It was no coincidence that they had run into each other right now, away from prying eyes. Julian must have followed Isak to catch him alone. _

_ Isak let his tongue glide over his lips, closely watching Julian watch the movement. “Hi,” He purred a little belatedly, going back to picking berries with a smirk playing on his lips. _

_ He felt Julian’s eyes on him, the anticipation building in his stomach as he waited for him to make a move. For a long time Julian just plugged berries off the bushes, though, eating them right away. _

_ And then finally, Julian cleared his throat, his hand deliberately brushing against Isak’s again as he reached for more berries. “I know a place for good… berry picking,” His voice dropped on the last two words and when their eyes met, Isak’s heart started beating wildly. They smirked at each other. “Come on, I’ll show you.” He inclined his head toward the thicket and held his hand out for Isak, both knowing that they couldn’t hold hands here — it might be away from people but there was always a chance for someone curious to end up here and spot them anyway. _

_ Julian held a branch to the side for Isak as they stepped off the clearing and into the thicket, away from any path. As soon as the branch snapped back into its original place, he bravely reached out for Julian’s hand, linking their fingers together. _

_ The air felt suspended between them as Julian’s head whipped around and they just stared at each other, their eyes searching the other’s gaze. This was a serious situation, a  _ dangerous _ one. But Julian squeezed Isak’s hand in his after a moment and a relieved smile pulled on his lips. They were on the same page here. _

_ The undergrowth scratched Isak’s naked legs but he barely paid any attention to it as he stumbled after Julian, deeper into the thicket. He was too excited to feel anything but the pounding of his heart. _

_ Once they had gone far enough in the thicket, where no one walking on the path would see their movements or hear their voices, Isak didn’t waste another moment to push Julian against the trunk of an old oak, fingers digging into his shoulders as he pressed their lips together in a messy, wet kiss. He was too desperate for it to pay attention to finesse. _

_ Julian reciprocated just as eagerly, pushing his tongue into Isak’s mouth, keen to taste him. _

_ Isak moaned, pressing closer to make Julian feel his hardening length against his thigh. “Want you,” He gasped into his mouth before pulling away from the kiss a little to search Julian’s face again, his hands sliding from Julian’s shoulders to his neck and cheeks. _

_ “Take me,” Julian replied just as breathlessly and Isak crashed their lips back together. There was still desperation in the kiss but he went a little slower this time,  _ deeper _ , wanting Julian to feel this kiss all through his body, to  _ remember _ it. _

_ Isak smiled when it made Julian moan, needy whimpers leaving his lips. He let go of Julian to untie the cords on the collar of his own linen shirt and open the buttons on his breeches, pushing them down to his knees. Then he took Julian’s hands in his, leading them under the long shirt to touch naked skin. _

_ Julian gasped, hands shaking. Isak was pretty sure Julian had never been like this with another man — he might have had fantasies and dreams but he had never let himself have the real thing. But he was ever-eager, his fingers wandering along the side of Isak’s thighs and up to his hips before hesitantly moving to his ass and when Isak pushed back into it, his grip tightened and Isak groaned, dropping his head against Julian’s shoulder. _

_ He worked on opening Julian’s breeches, wanting to touch too. It had been way too long since he had last done this. _

_ “Isaac,” Julian whimpered, hands exploring more, moving up Isak’s ribs and to his chest. _

_ Quickly making a decision, Isak pulled off his linen shirt, dropping it carelessly on the ground. He presented himself completely naked to Julian — vulnerable. _

_ “You’re so gorgeous, Is,” Julian breathed, leaning in for a kiss. _

_ Isak interrupted the kiss to press their foreheads together, one hand cupping Julian’s face, thumb brushing over the freckles on his cheek. “Have you seen yourself?” He whispered fervently. His other hand searched blindly for Julian’s hand, guiding it to rest on the warm inside of his thigh — far enough down to give Julian a choice but clear enough anyway about what he wanted. _

_ Julian followed the warmth, his fingers tickling the sensitive skin of Isak’s thighs before he felt them against the coarse hairs there and then finally his fingers wrapped gingerly around Isak’s length. Both of them gasped into each other’s mouths at the contact, and Isak started pumping into Julian’s fist. _

_ He could get to his release like this, in seconds probably. But that wasn’t the plan. He licked into Julian’s mouth, and sucked on his top lip a little before pulling away to whisper, “I want to feel you, Julian.” _

_ “I’m right here,” He replied. _

_ Isak shook his head, laughing a little. “ _ In _ me.” _

_ Julian looked at him with wide eyes. “Like a man and a woman?” He asked. _

_ Fragile, such a fragile moment. This could be the end.  _

_ “Like a man and a woman,” Isak confirmed, some insecurity shining through when he murmured, “Is that okay?” _

_ Isak focused his gaze on Julian’s heaving chest lest he saw disgust in his eyes. He’d like to say he had a good judgement of character, that he could tell when someone would chicken out and then the dangers that came with that but so far he had been lucky with his conquests but the fear remained. “How?” Julian asked, gulping thickly, “Show me?” _

_ Isak nodded jerkily, the tension seeping out of him. “Move,” He instructed and Julian did as he was told dazedly. Isak positioned himself with his chest facing the tree. “Use loads of spit on your cock and my asshole. And loosen me a little before you put it in me,” He explained crudely, confident that Julian would understand; he was one of the smartest boys in the village after all. _

_ “L-loosen you,” Julian repeated shakily, “You mean— yes, of course. I can— I can do that.” There was something endearing about his inexperience. _

_ Isak shifted a little to stand more comfortably, legs spread wide. He had his arms resting against the trunk, pressing his face against them. His breathing rang loudly in his own ears. And then he heard rustling and suddenly his eyes went wide. He’d underestimated Julian.  _

_ Spreading Isak’s cheeks with a tight grip, Julian buried his face against him, his tongue slipping inside Isak. _

_ That was one way to loosen him. _

_ Isak couldn’t breathe. He was suddenly really glad he hadn’t clarified that part. Julian was filthy and Isak absolutely loved it. Isak had had countless sexual encounters ever since he had been fifteen but no one had ever put their tongue  _ inside _ him. Lips against his hole and tongues licking over it, yes, but never this. _

_ Little puffs of air, paired with desperate mewls left his lips as he pushed back against Julian’s tongue, his spit leaving a cool trail against his skin when everything else was hot, the wetness dripping down to his balls. “Yesyesyes. Julian— fuck me. Yes,” He gasped, repeating it over and over again. He felt the orgasm build in his stomach and it took everything to groan, “Julian, stop. I’m gonna— you gotta. Want your cock in me.” _

_ “Okay,” Julian gasped once he pulled away from Isak. “Was that right?” _

_ Isak laughed happily, surprised he could even still stand up. “More than,” He assured. _

_ He heard the sweet sound of Julian spitting into his hand and then the gentle slap of his hand against his dick as he spread the wetness along his dick. When he spat into his hand again, Isak was convinced he could come from those sounds alone. Julian’s hand moved between Isak’s cheeks, spreading the spit there, putting extra care in rubbing his finger over Isak’s puffy hole and inhaling audibly when his finger dipped in, exploring a little more. _

_ And then Julian lined himself up and pushed inside a little too eagerly to make it entirely comfortable for Isak but he hadn’t expected anything else and rough was good sometimes. Julian’s arms snaking around his middle definitely made up for it. _

_ As soon as Isak was comfortable, he told Julian, “Move.” And then he was fucking into him and it felt so fucking good to have him cling to Isak in desperation. At some point, Isak felt wetness against his shoulder, realising that Julian had started crying or maybe he had done so the whole time. Isak understood where he was coming from; knew how emotional the first time with a man could be and the thoughts running through his head.  _ How could something so good be forbidden?

_ Julian spilled into him, holding onto Isak through it and long after. Isak wrapped his fingers around his cock to get himself to come too, his other hand lacing with Julian’s over his stomach, hoping to give him some comfort. When his orgasm came, a loud moan was torn out of him. He felt shaky on his legs, completely boneless actually, but Julian was still plastered to his back and Isak closed his eyes, staying like that for a few minutes. _

_ When he felt like he was back to his senses again, Isak wiggled around a little so he could lean against the tree trunk with his back, scooping Julian up against his chest. He carded his fingers through his sweat-matted hair gently, whispering sweet nothings to soothe him. _

_ “I love you,” Julian sobbed, pressing a kiss to Isak’s chest, right over his heart. _

_ Isak held him tighter. “I know.” Mostly, he knew that Julian was still very much delirious, would probably be for a while longer but even if the words didn’t mean what they were supposed to, it was nice to hear them. _

_ Eventually, Isak pulled up his breeches, doing the same for Julian and then manoeuvred them so they could lie down on the overgrown ground, Isak’s spread out shirt offering them a small hint of comfortableness. _

_ Julian curled into Isak again immediately, making himself as small as possible and Isak held onto him, caressing him and quietly telling him stories. _

_ After hours, the last shreds of deliriousness bled out of Julian and they spent a couple more minutes feeding each other berries that had been for Isak’s mother but he couldn’t care less right now. _

 

_ That afternoon was the beginning of several wonderful weeks of Julian and Isak sneaking out together, kissing until their lips went numb and lying with each other which always ended in Julian telling Isak that he loved him. _

_ One day, they lay curled together afterwards, Julian tracing Isak’s pulsing soulmate mark. “Does it make you sad?” He asked curiously, pressing a kiss to the mark, “Or scared?” _

_ Isak shifted his gaze up to the trees above them. He hated thinking about his soulmate mark because it just reminded him that he’d never have a soulmate of his own. It was even worse because he’d have to live with that reminder for the rest of his life while at least those who missed their Soulmate Day didn’t bear the mark afterwards anymore. _

_ When Isak didn’t answer, Julian went on. “2018,” He said it slowly, trying it out on his tongue, “Do you think your soulmate will be a man?” His voice was shaky, “Do you think he will be sad that he never gets to meet you? Do you think he’ll grow up in a world where he won’t get hanged for his feelings?” _

_ Isak squeezed his eyes shut, he really didn’t want to think about this. The soulmate system was a cruel thing. “Don’t be ridiculous,” He scolded, flicking his finger against Julian’s forehead, his voice was monotonous when he continued, “Sodomy is a vile act that only children of Satan practice.” _

_ “Don’t say that,” Julian whispered, tears brimming his eyes. _

_ Isak instantly felt bad. “I’m sorry,” He murmured, lifting their intertwined hands to his lips and kissing Julian’s knuckles. Trying to get the focus away from him, he traced Julian’s mark against his wrist with his thumb, “And what about you?” _

_ Julian’s Day was only a week away. _

_ He buried his face against Isak’s neck, tears splashing against the skin. His voice was muffled and thick with tears when he mumbled, “I hoped you could be my soulmate.” _

_ That wasn’t how it worked though. Isak bit his tongue so he didn’t say that. He didn’t want to cause Julian more pain. “I’m sorry,” He said again, lifting Julian’s head so he could press a kiss against his lips. Kissed him until Julian went pliant under him and they both could forget the broken system they lived in. _

 

_ A week later, Julian’s mark was frozen at  _ **_16.08.1717 10:37_ ** _ and he fell apart on Isak’s doorstep. _

_ Isak’s father was at the taverns again and his mother was in a completely different realm, curled up in her bed. Isak pulled the crying boy into the house, listening to his incoherent ramblings about his soulmate being a man; they’d apparently run into each other at the market, had had eye contact for a moment before both of them had turned away from each other without saying a word but with a mutual understanding. _

_ It was no good to have a soulmate of the same gender. It led to nothing but pain — most likely death. _

_ Isak let Julian undress him and kept brushing the tears away but they were just replaced by fresh ones. It made Isak’s heart hurt, his own eyes pricking with tears. _

_ Julian walked them backwards to the bed, pulling Isak over him as his back hit the straw mattress. They kissed more, their tears mixing as they shed their clothes. When Julian wanted to turn around to be on his hands and knees for Isak, Isak just kissed him harder and shook his head. He didn’t want to not look at Julian’s beautiful face right now — they both needed it. _

_ He’d never done it face to face but it must be possible. _

_ They came simultaneously, Julian spilling between them, his hands desperately tangled in Isak’s hair while Isak’s hands were splayed out on his ribs, holding him. Holding  _ them _ together. “I love you,” Isak whispered against Julian’s lips, knowing he needed to hear that right now and it was nice to pretend for a moment. A comfort. _

_ “I love you,” Julian said as always and his tears almost made him fall apart afterwards. _

 

_ Isak didn’t see Julian afterwards. It was okay — they both needed time to recuperate. _

_ He went through his days like he always did: cursing his father, caring for his mother, dodging advances of the women in the village and then dodging fists as their brothers wanted to make him pay for making their sisters miserable. _

_ It was as it always had been except that every second thought went out to Julian, hoping he was dealing okay but too scared to check up on him. _

_ Two days after Julian’s Soulmate Day, he found a note when he returned to the house. _

I’m sorry _ was all it said, the ink smudged by tears. _

_ Julian. _

_ Isak heaved a deep breath, it came out shaky. There were a few things this note could mean; Julian ending their arrangement or— _

_ He heard humming from outside, an aggressive buzzing like that of a beehive. It came closer and closer until there was a pounding on the door, making the ramshackle door quake in its frame. _

_ The noise made his mother shoot up in bed behind him, her hair a mess as she looked around disoriented, her eyes clearing a little when she found Isak. “What is going on, Isak?” The familiar lilt of her saying his name like his father had intended it to be spoken usually calmed him down in any situation. _

_ Not today. _

_ The pounding on the door got louder, as did the angry beehive. “I’m sorry,” Isak whispered, repeating the words of the note that was now crumpled in his hand, “I love you, mum.” _

_ Before the door would actually be torn down, he stepped closer to it. His hands were sweaty with fear, his breath coming out in pants as he slowly raised his hand. _

_ “Open up!” He heard the shire reeve’s gruff bark. _

I’m sorry… for telling on you. _ The intention of the note was clear now. _

_ There was no escaping this. He had always known that this would be his fate at some point. They had been reckless.  _ He _ had been reckless. _

_ His mother was whimpering behind him but he didn’t dare look at her one last time because he didn’t want her to see the fear in his eyes. It didn’t matter anymore anyway — as soon as someone explained to her that he was a filthy sodomist, she’d turn her back on him. _

_ He wrenched the door open, facing the raging mob and Julian’s father with his head held high, teeth gritted. He would try to keep up a brave front as long as possible, didn’t want to give them the pleasure of seeing him break. _

_ The shire reeve pulled him outside by his collar and Isak almost stumbled over his bare feet. The angry townsmen swayed their torches and pitchforks at him, chants of “Let the sodomist hang!” echoing through the air. _

_ In that moment, his father walked down the path and someone yelled at him, “Valtersen! What’s it like to know that the only reason your son thought he was too good for our girls was that he’d rather lie with men?” Several people spat at Isak and when some of it hit him right in the face, he started shaking, gritting his teeth harder to keep from crying. _

_ Terje Valtersen was a tall, proud Norseman that did not let common townsfolk talk to him like that. He squared his shoulders, his gaze dark as he hissed in disgust, “This? This disgusting monster is not my son.” _

_ Isak felt his heart shatter. He knew he didn’t have a great relationship with his father but to hear those words from him, no hesitance— Isak’s legs gave out and only the tight grip of the shire reeve held him upright. _

_ The mob roared, clearly satisfied with Terje’s answer and someone pushed a torch into his hand. He couldn’t meet his son’s gaze. _

_ Isak cried and cried and cried, hearing his mother’s desperate wails behind him but he didn’t dare look at her, wanted to spare her his pathetic tears even though maybe her sight could have given him some comfort. _

_ He was thrown into the dark hole in the town square, awaiting his trial. Isak didn’t stop praying during those three days he was stuck down there, freezing half to death during the night and enduring jeers and people throwing rotten food at him during the day. _

_ By the end of the first day, he started eating the food and he stopped vomiting from it by the end of the second day as well as he stopped yelping every time a rat scurried past him close enough so he could feel their coarse fur and disgusting tail. _

_ On the morning of the 21 _ _ st _ _ of August, he was sentenced to death by hanging. _

_ The rope around his neck, he awaited his fate with the other two convicts, looking at the gathered crowd, all of them familiar faces, people who had been kind to him in the past but now their expressions showed nothing but contempt, boys he had slept with because they were desperate enough to practice sodomy because the women weren’t interested in them or didn’t give them sex pretended to be unaffected. _

_ He found his father’s gaze whose eyes showed nothing but disgust. His mother wasn’t next to him; probably too weak or disgusted or both to watch her son’s death. Isak’s eyes flitted around until they found Julian’s. _

_ He was crying silent tears and his eyes were full of remorse. Isak smiled faintly, hoping Julian could see in his eyes that he didn’t take any hatred toward Julian or his actions to his grave. _

_ The rope strangled Isak and he struggled against it until he didn’t anymore. _

 

Isak took a deep breath as if to make up for the oxygen having been taken away from him forcefully. He felt strangely detached from his body. No one knew this about him. Vilde knew how he had been turned but he had told her only the basics of what had led to his death sentence. The thought of reliving all of it had always been too painful. And he now knew why.

It felt as if the rope was back around his neck and he raised his hands to it, wanting to get rid of the phantom pain.

“Isak?” The door behind him opened carefully and he scooted to the side at the last moment, looking up at Even with wide eyes. He had almost forgotten that he was there.

Even now knew about him.

He closed the door and sat down next to Isak on the floor, their sides pressed together. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled, playing with a loose thread on his hoodie (Isak’s). “You’re still insufferable but Julian was an asshole.”

For some reason that made Isak laugh. Julian had been many things but not an asshole. “Nah, he was just scared. We got carried away with our feelings, we got reckless and we were still two boys madly in love with each other in a time when we weren’t allowed to be,” Isak knocked his head against the door, closing his eyes. Back then, he had been too terrified to admit it but 300 years really put things into perspective. Julian had been his first love. “One of us would have broken sooner or later, I was aware of that. Unfortunate for me, it was Julian. Lucky for him, he was the chief magistrate’s son.”

Isak wrung his hands in his lap. “I returned to the village a couple of times to make sure my mother was doing okay. I saw him at my grave sometimes, always at nighttime, always crying. He probably carried that guilt around with him for the rest of his life. A month later he was married off to a girl called Sarah and they had a bunch of beautiful children. They both died of old age, I think he was even happy sometimes. Not sure that he ever forgot about me.”

Even listened to him quietly, thinking hard about his reply. “What’s it like to love someone so completely that you can forgive him for killing you?”

Isak didn’t smile. He saw the parallel clearly here and he was sure Even could see it as well. “When he told me he wanted me to be his soulmate, I wished for the same with all my heart.” He wasn’t sure if that answer meant anything to Even so he tagged on in a joking tone, “It’s fine, I’m over it.”

Even remained silent for a long time until he questioned, “Are you?”

It caught Isak a little off guard but he shrugged. As honest as he had been for the past hour or longer, he said, “It’s annoying sometimes that he played such a pivotal role in my life — and my death — that I remember him better than I remember my mother. But yes, I’ve made my peace with him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: Isak's death sentence (hanging)
> 
> I'm REALLY curious what you think of Julian because my poor baby, I love him so much and I was really rooting for him and Isak while writing this rip. So please let me know your thoughts! <33


	9. † C H A P T E R   E I G H T †

Once Even knew about the story behind Isak’s death, their relationship inevitably changed. He still spent lots of time in the bedroom but sometimes, when Isak came back from work, he’d find Even sitting on the sofa, upright and tense as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to.

“Hi,” Isak greeted him timidly, “Did you already eat?” He didn’t want to overwhelm him so that he disappeared back in his room but he also didn’t want to go back to ignoring each other. “I thought about cooking something or— I don’t know, would you like to join me?”

Even’s shoulders seemed to sag a little. “I’m not really— I mean— if you— I don’t want to intrude with your friend or anything…” He stuttered.

Isak was glad to know that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know how to act in this new situation. He wasn’t even sure what this new situation was. They were soulmates where one didn’t completely hate the other one anymore. Presumably. Did that mean anything? “My friend? Oh, Vilde. She’s… otherwise engaged tonight,” He replied, cursing his best friend who thought it was the best idea to check into a hotel to give the two of them some time to adjust to what they were now that they got along better. She had told Isak she’d stay in the city for a couple more days before going back to the Bahamas — for now, she wanted to make sure that Isak wouldn’t have another breakdown.

He ended up just making them cheese toasties, balancing the plates in one hand while he carried two bottles in the other. “Here,” He smiled timidly at Even as he handed them over, sitting down at the other end of the sofa.

They ate in silence but unlike the last time they had had dinner together, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

When they were finished, Even surprisingly didn’t get up immediately.

Isak had been stealing glances at him all through eating, quickly looking away when Even had caught him, so he now noticed Even scrunching his whole face up in the most endearing way as he presumably tried to figure out if he should say what was on his mind.

“Isak?” He blurted after the longest time.

Isak tried his best not to break into the biggest smile. It was ridiculous what hearing Even saying his name did to him. “Even?” He shot back because he loved saying his name just as much as he loved hearing Even say his.

The corners of Even’s lips twitched as if he knew exactly what Isak was thinking, which made Isak feel hot all over. “I was wondering… if, you know— well, why do you kill people if you can just get blood from a blood bank? Your fridge is full with it?”

Isak looked at him, calculating what was going through his head. Would this end in another fight?

“I’m not judging or anything,” Even quickly tagged on, “I’m just genuinely curious.”

It was unnerving how he seemed to be able to look right through Isak. “Oh uh— well. There’s,” He closed his eyes, focusing on what he was feeling when he went hunting instead of looking at his latest victim, “When I go hunting, there’s this rush, this excitement of finding a victim and knowing I’m superior to them. I don’t see them as people, they’re just prey. I can’t really explain what it feels like to suck someone’s life force out of them, knowing that it’s giving  _ me _ new strength. It’s— you can’t compare that to bottled blood. We’re predators, hunting is in our nature.”

Isak didn’t dare opening his eyes again, scared of what he’d find in Even’s gaze. There was a silence for a moment until Even said thoughtfully, “I guess that makes sense.”

Isak’s eyes flew open. That was the last thing he had expected. “Oh?”

Even shrugged. “When I ran away from here… after I woke up. I met my friend, and I— I hurt her. And when I smelled her blood… I wanted to kill her. Like you said, there is some kind of rush.” He wrung his hands, expression pained.

Isak’s eyes were wide. This was bad. “Have you— are you—“ He stuttered, hand twitching to reach out to Even for comfort.

Even shook his head. “I didn’t kill her. I could get out of there fast enough. But I  _ could have _ . And I might not even have felt bad for it,” He whispered.

“No,” Isak blurted immediately, “You would have felt bad and I couldn’t have forgiven myself if you had killed your friend. I’m sorry, Even.  _ Truly _ .”

Even wriggled around on the sofa, pulling his knees up to his chest. “I think you’ve done enough apologising,” He mumbled, not quite meeting Isak’s eyes.

Isak, who couldn’t believe this. Did this mean that Even had already forgiven him for everything he had put him through? He didn’t want to get his hopes up, though — he hadn’t even forgiven himself yet. “I’d apologise for the rest of my life if you asked me to.”

Even shot him a small, timid smile. “Forever is an awfully long time to stay mad at someone. I might not have forgiven you entirely yet but at least I don’t think I hate you anymore. Small steps, right?”

Isak nodded, unable to hold in the big smile. They had lots of time to take small steps and Isak surely wouldn’t push Even into things he didn’t want — he’d done that plenty already.

Even rubbed his hands over his thighs and stood up. Clearly, his tolerance of staying in the same room as Isak and having a somewhat civil conversation was exhausted now. “So, thanks for dinner. I’ll…” He trailed off, walking toward the bedroom. Before he closed the door behind him, though, he turned around again. “Actually, I have one more question. Can I?”

Isak made a gesture that told Even to go on.

“When I woke up, after you turned me, I threw up all this blood. I was terrified… can vampires be—  _ sick _ ?” 

There was more to this question than Even let on but Isak couldn’t figure out what that was so he just told him, “I’ve never heard of anything like it. I’m not going around, turning people into vampires left and right so I don’t really know how it’s supposed to be but with Vilde, it was a whole lot less messy,” He winced, remembering the blood-drenched bedroom, “My theory is that you were so low on blood that your body couldn’t properly process the blood I gave you — and I gave you a lot. The problem might have been that it was impure blood in the sense that you drank it from me while I got it from… someone else as well. I don’t think you have to be worried about it happening again. The bottled blood hasn’t posed any problems for you yet so I don’t think it ever will.”

Even gnawed on his upper lip as if contemplating to say more but when he spoke up again, Isak was certain it wasn’t that. “Thanks for letting me stay just like that. I’ve been pretty rude about it, just taking your hospitality for granted. I’ll try to figure something out as quickly as possible and then leave. Promise.”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re welcome here however long you want to. I really don’t mind. It’s actually nice to have someone around and that’s the least I can do,” He assured, tagging on, “Please don’t leave.”

Even nodded and then disappeared in his room.

 

The first thing Vilde said to him when they met in the bar they had agreed to meet in, was, “Oh, you’re wearing clothes from this decade again.”

Isak shot her an unimpressed look and sat down in the seat across from her. “Ha, ha,” He replied dryly, taking a brief look at the menu even though he already knew what he was taking.

“I already ordered for you. Bloody Mary,” His best friend winked before changing back to the topic from before, “So, you’re making progress with Even?”

“A little. At least he let’s me into his room now so I can get my actual clothes.”

Vilde raised her eyebrows, smirking, “ _ His _ room?”

Isak shrugged, “I haven’t been in that bedroom in almost a month except for that time right after he woke up and I fixed the mess… I think it’s safe to say it’s his room.”

“You’re so whipped, Isak.”

He gnawed on his lip, unable to disagree with her. He didn’t break down because of just anyone; he also didn’t care so much about people liking him that  _ he _ himself didn’t like; and the obvious, he would have killed Even if he didn’t mean anything to him. So Vilde had a point. “It feels like he is finally letting me in,” He whispered, feeling hope bloom in his chest.

Having no filter whatsoever, his best friend asked, “Sexually?” Horrifically, she sounded serious.

“I wi—“ Isak almost blurted but stopped himself at the last second, “Oh my god!  _ No _ , Vilde.” He felt the blush rising in his cheeks and of all the things that he was limited to do as a vampire, he wished it would be that his embarrassment showed in his cheeks.

Vilde just smirked knowingly at him and Isak pouted.

They just ordered the third round of drinks when Vilde announced, “I think I’m going to go back home soon.”

Isak instinctively looked at his phone to check the time. “Okay, sure. I can walk you back to the hotel — which I still think is ridiculous. You could have stayed at my place!”

His best friend shook her head, admitting, “I meant the Bahamas, Isak. I think you don’t need me here anymore.”

Isak furrowed his brow, shooting back indignantly, “I always need you!”

That made a small smile appear on Vilde’s lips. “Good answer. But seriously, you’re doing good with Even, the two of you get along… and I really miss my home.”

It wasn’t often that Isak felt childish but he wanted to protest childishly now even though he knew there was no chance of his arguing changing her decision. He deflated at that realisation and whispered quietly, “It’s Christmas soon. Can’t you stay until after that?”

“Isak…” Vilde sighed. That was a  _ no _ then. “I’m really only still here because I want to make sure you didn’t develop some weird phobia of hunting after everything that happened with Even.”

Isak eyed her curiously, letting her words sink in. He hadn’t even thought about hunting. His main focus had been Even in the last couple of weeks and with a fully stored fridge at home, he didn’t need to go hunting. He didn’t know what to make of it. It scared him a little to think that he might have developed some fear of killing.

The smart move would be to play on that so he could keep Vilde around for longer. But the thought of being unable to feed on someone made Isak anxious and anyway, he might be deceiving sometimes but never toward his best friend. “I’m not scared,” He said petulantly, paying for their drinks but not actually caring to finish that last order before he pulled on his coat and stormed out of the bar, Vilde right behind him.

Once the cold air hit him, he slowed his steps, waiting for Vilde to catch up with him. The streets were full of people seeing at it was a Friday night so finding a victim wouldn’t be a problem. They just had to find some dark alley so no one would see Isak killing someone — the consequences of that were something Isak didn’t want to think about.

It was usually easier to seduce someone and take them home but this wasn’t impossible either. There was always that one person who’d be alone.

They spotted her twenty minutes later, chatting animatedly on the phone before ending the call after a cheerful, “See you in a bit!”  _ She wouldn’t. _

“Are you keen on sharing?” Isak looked at Vilde with a smirk, raising his eyebrows.

Vilde laughed. “No, that’s all yours.”

Isak’s smile widened. “Good, because I’m not keen on sharing either.” He winked at Vilde before approaching his victim, contemplating if he should make this a game or just attack.

His stomach traitorously churned.  _ What if it’s your soulmate?  _ It seemed to say when Isak was fully aware that his soulmate was sitting at home, doing who knew what — Isak wishfully thought that maybe Even was waiting for him.

He considered just breaking its neck, maybe that would quiet his stomach as much as it would silence his victim but his best friend was familiar with his hunting technique and killing his victim before sucking it dry wasn’t that.

Isak caught up to his victim and grinned at it. Nonchalantly, he told it, “I’m going to kill you.”

The annoyed expression turned into disbelief as if it tried to figure out if that was some very twisted version of a pick-up line but before it could even react properly, Isak pulled it into the shadows sinking his teeth into its neck.

The sweet taste of the blood relaxed him right away, as did his victim’s attempts to push against his chest. And then it went limp and Isak felt full, dropping the body to the ground. He didn’t look back when he walked back over to Vilde, shooting her a smirk.

“Apparently, I’m worrying too much. Was it good?” She conceded.

He nodded, linking his arm with hers as they walked in the direction of her hotel. Remembering why he had killed that girl in the first place, he asked quietly, “When are you leaving?”

She sighed, “I’ll see if I can get a flight tomorrow.”

Isak missed a step, almost falling. “That’s fast,” He stuttered, tightening his grip around her arm.

Vilde stepped around him and while he still held onto her she used her free arm to wrap around his neck, hugging him close until his desperate grip loosened and he returned the hug. “I’m sorry,” She mumbled against his neck.

They stood there for a while until Isak pulled away. “I guess I should have known. You have a life there,” He muttered.

“I do,” She nodded, putting on a smile and joking, “And I’m nothing more than a cock block here.”

Isak swatted her lightly on the arm. “It’s not  _ like _ that!”

“Yet,” She winked.

 

Isak felt queasy when he came back home. He already missed his best friend and they hadn’t even said goodbye yet.

He didn’t expect to find Even pacing the living room when he stepped into the flat.

Their eyes met and Even looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Isak rolled his eyes. “Hi,” He greeted him but for once hoped Even would just disappear to his room and Isak wasn’t forced to hold a conversation when all he wanted was to curl up in bed and miss Vilde a little more.

“Hey. I—“

Isak closed his eyes briefly when he hung up his coat and toed off his shoes.

“I want to see my parents.”

Isak froze. “No,” He said immediately in a clipped tone. He didn’t mean for it to come out this harshly. (Or maybe he did, maybe he secretly tried to sabotage that slowly budding friendship between them so Vilde would stay a little longer. He instantly felt bad.)

Even sounded adorably confused when he repeated, “No?”

Isak gritted his teeth as he slowly turned around. “No,” He nodded, “I’m not gonna feel guilty for all eternity about you offing your parents. So no.”

Naturally, Even didn’t just let Isak trample over him like that. “Then come with me to prevent that from happening. I don’t care. But I need to see them,” He argued.

“No,” Isak said stubbornly, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had to put up with a rebellious child. It wasn’t even a question, though, who the child in this situation was.

Even threw his hands in the air in annoyance, his eyes blazing with anger when he spat, ”You wanted to kill me and then you turned me into a fucking vampire! I can expect you to do this one thing for me!” 

Isak didn’t deal well with his obvious guilt thrown in his face. “Fuck you!” He yelled like the petulant child he was and stalked to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. If he weren’t so upset, he’d see the irony in the fact that their roles were reversed right now compared to the last few times they had fought.

“Is that a yes?” Even yelled through the door.

Isak groaned and let himself fall dramatically on the bed. “ _ Yes _ !” He grumbled, hoping that Even didn’t hear him. God, he’d really do anything for this boy, wouldn’t he?

 

When he had told Vilde about that development at the airport, she had screeched happily, telling him, “You can’t wear one of your hideous hoodies and a snapback when meeting your soulmate’s parents, okay? Promise me that.”

He had glared at her, gritting out between his teeth, “It’s not like that.”

But either way, he was now dressed in a nice dark green sweater that brought out his eyes according to Vilde — something he wasn’t sure he should aim for when meeting  _ humans _ — and his nicest black pants. Isak shuffled his feet as he waited for Even to come out of his room.

Even was beaming when he finally appeared. He wore a grey button down of Isak’s and his hair was styled and Isak realised it was the first time he saw Even out of sweatpants and ready to go out in public. He was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous.

“You look great.” Maybe it was only in his head but Isak thought his voice sounded rather squeaky.

Even lit up even more. “Yeah? I’m excited to leave the flat. It’s been way too long,” He was blushing slightly, looking at the ground when he added, “You look amazing, too.”

Isak cleared his throat and quickly pulled on his coat to distract himself and Even from the mushy expression that was undoubtedly on his face. “Thanks,” He clipped once he was ready.

“There’s one more thing I need to tell you,” Even mumbled when they walked to the tram stop, kicking snow in front of him.

They had gone through what they had to expect for this evening and had agreed to introduce Isak as who he really was: Even’s soulmate. 

Even’s soulmate who’d do anything in his power to make sure that there won’t be any dead bodies by the end of the night.

“You remember Sonja, the friend I saw when I woke up?” Even asked carefully, not looking at Isak as if he was ashamed.

Isak wanted to reach out to him to comfort him but thought better of it, burying his hands deeper in the pockets of his coat. “I remember her,” He confirmed.

Even nodded slowly, taking his time to continue. “She probably informed my parents that I’m… that I seemed out of my mind. So uh— if my parents start talking about it, just—“

Isak saved him from the struggle he was clearly in. “I’ll tell them that I didn’t notice anything off while we spent all this time together to get to know each other after we found out we’re soulmates. Got it,” He smiled, finally succumbing to the urge to touch Even. He reached out and squeezed his elbow briefly, the touch so faint and his hand back in his coat pocket so quickly that maybe Even hadn’t realised it at all and wouldn’t yell at him.

“Thank you,” He breathed, the tension leaving his shoulders. He hesitated a moment before speaking up again. “But… you should still know that— I’m bipolar,” He took a deep breath and then rushed out, “Or I was. I don’t know. Do you? How the whole vampire thing works… You probably do. I just— I’m scared. I don’t want to live with my sickness for the next who-knows-how-many years. I was okay with it when I knew I was going to die at some point but now I—“

“Even,” Isak interrupted him quietly and repeating it louder when it seemed like he just wanted to go on, “Even, I’m sorry but I don’t know.” He stopped walking and turned so he was looking at Even, holding his gaze, “I haven’t met many vampires over the years and from those I have, I don’t know if they suffered from any mental illnesses. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you more.” He really wished he could take that fear away from Even but it was impossible, he wouldn’t just lie for Even’s sake when it was something so important and could completely destroy him once Isak’s lie were to be discovered.

“I understand,” Even whispered brokenly, “I guess I’ll just have to wait until an episode to know.”

Lying wasn’t an option but maybe giving hope was, “It might never come, Even. And we’ll get through this together if it happens. You’re not alone with this.”

Even smiled faintly at him but he was still understandably despondent when they reached the tram stop.

 

Even’s parents almost started crying when they opened the door for them half an hour later so Isak took a step back as they showered their son in hugs and kisses. It was lovely to watch Even smile so big, reciprocating his parents’ affections just as enthusiastically while his mood clearly lightened back up.

Isak froze when Even’s mother asked about his eyes but it was almost scary how easily Even put on a fake smile and said in the smoothest voice, “It’s the light,” shrugging casually. Even Isak almost believed him.

Though she didn’t seem completely convinced, she also didn’t ask more questions after Even laughed and rolled his eyes, “Seriously, mamma, don’t you know your own son?”

When they pulled away from the hugs, Isak suddenly felt shy and nervous. He had had two boyfriends in his life — if you counted Julian and Isak didn’t because he had never met his parents apart from when Julian’s father had sentenced him to death, unknowing that his son and Isak had been in love. So he had met someone’s parents once before but he hadn’t felt anything like this. Even and Isak were soulmates and for some inexplicable reason, he wanted them to like him even when Isak didn’t plan to play a big part in their lives.

“And you’re Isak,” Even’s mother sent him the brightest smile, pulling him into an unexpected hug. “I’m Julie, it’s so nice to meet you!”

His father introduced himself as Anders and this time, Isak was more prepared for the hug.

This family clearly was a bunch of huggers and Isak mourned the fact that Even hadn’t shared that trait with him yet. Isak liked hugs.

After inviting them inside, Julie took their coats from them and Isak unabashedly looked around the house, trying to soak up as much of it as possible to put the puzzle pieces together of who Even was. He spotted some framed pictures with Even as a kid and he wanted to commit them to memory.

“I hope you’re not completely starved yet because the food will take a bit longer,” Anders told them as they walked into the living room.

“Nope, not starved,” Isak said pointedly and Even shot him a warning look as if Isak was going to blurt that they were vampires.

And then the questions started, luckily ones easy enough to answer. They told them how they had met — on the way home, right before their time had run out because they wanted to keep close enough to the truth without the gory details — and that they had spent every available minute together since then which was why Even had made himself so scarce. That led to Even’s parents launching into a retelling of their memories of first meeting each other. “Oh young love,” Julie sighed dreamily.

Both Isak and Even winced. This wasn’t love, it was barely friendship. If Isak let himself be optimistic, he’d call it tentatively getting to know each other. He took in Even’s features, his smiling eyes and lips, how relaxed he looked. Isak hadn’t seen him off his guard like this before. He was so beautiful.

“How old are you Isak?” Someone asked, Julie, Isak’s brain supplied but he was a little bit lost in staring at his soulmate.

Even nudged his knee against his and Isak snapped out of it. “Eh,” He mumbled belatedly, waving his hand around dismissively, “Nineteen?”

Even’s parents were clearly amused. “That sounds like a question,” Anders chuckled.

Isak shrugged, blurting without thinking, “You know, at a certain point in life, you stop counting really.” Sometimes he lost track of the supposed birth date in his passport and for him, age didn’t really play any role in his life.

They laughed, shaking their heads fondly. Anders pointed out, “Once you’re our age, maybe.”

Even quickly interjected, “He’s nineteen.” His tone of voice suggested that he was annoyed by Isak’s lack of caution but in Isak’s defence, he was kind of busy drinking in how calm Even was tonight. Even then started talking about some movie that Isak had never seen and he couldn’t really follow but Even was so excited about it that he just enjoyed watching him some more.

It took Isak a moment to realise that from one moment to the next, Even grew completely rigid next to him. Isak felt like a shit conversationalist, zoning out completely all the time but when he tuned back in Julie was talking about something random and Anders wasn’t even there in the living room with them anymore.

And then there it was. Among the delicious smells of the dinner cooking in the kitchen, there was another one that Isak was only all too familiar with: blood. It was subtle and it didn’t faze Isak at all but for Even it was overwhelming right now.

“Even,” Isak whispered, putting a hand on his thigh but he didn’t react if anything he grew more tense and Isak knew it was only a matter of seconds before he’d go for the attack. Isak slapped his hand against his forehead to get Julie to stop talking and focus on him instead. He chuckled self-deprecatingly, “I totally forgot. We have something for you in the car!” He pulled Even to his feet with him, “We’ll be right back!”

They hadn’t come with a car, Isak was pretty sure they had mentioned it in the conversation that they had taken the tram but before Julie could point that out, the front door slammed shut and they stood in the freezing cold in their socked feet.

“Even,” Isak snapped, trying to get him out of his trance. When it didn’t really help, he grasped Even’s face in his hands, making him look at Isak. “Even, listen to me. You don’t want to do this. You can snap out of this. That’s your  _ father _ you’re thinking about killing right now,” He murmured urgently. “I know it’s hard and it sounds like the very best idea to do that right now but you’ll regret it. And I won’t let you do it. You have to kill me before you kill him, okay?” 

Even’s fingers wrapped around Isak’s biceps and Isak already prepared to retaliate if Even decided to push him out of the way but he just seemed to hold onto him. “It’s… so… hard,” He gritted out, the silver in his eyes pulsing hectically.

“Even,” Isak whispered, brushing his thumbs against Even’s cheekbones, “Focus on me. Stop breathing, that should help a little.”

Even’s eyes widened at that and Isak remembered that he hadn’t been a vampire long so he probably hadn’t ever considered  _ not _ breathing before.

They stood like that for a couple minutes, holding onto each other, as Isak watched the turmoil in Even’s eyes calm down. “Okay?” Isak asked when Even blinked a couple of times, seemingly snapping out of it or maybe shaking himself out of it forcefully.

“I don’t know,” Even gasped, close to tears he couldn’t shed.

“It’s okay,” Isak assured him softly and kept brushing his thumbs against his cheeks. “I’m here, you don’t have to be scared. I won’t let you harm them. If you want, I can fake feeling sick so we can leave early. But I think you’re really strong and can push through this. Your father probably only cut himself or something, the bleeding has probably stopped by now.”

Even closed his eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching. “How long until I stop feeling like this?”

“You have to get used to it to not be this affected anymore,” Isak said truthfully, “Meaning you have to start hunting…”

Even nodded slowly, processing that information. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem shocked by it and Isak wondered if he’d been thinking about killing for a while.

A few more minutes passed between them with Isak cupping Even’s face in his hands still and Even holding onto his arms before they went back inside.

As soon as they were back in the living room, Julie chirped, “You gave us the wine you brought earlier. Was that what you thought you forgot in the car?”

Isak laughed, “Yeah, I realised after we searched for it in the whole car. Sorry about that.”

In that moment, Anders came back into the living room, announcing that dinner was ready.

Even still looked visibly shaken, though he masked it well whenever one of his parents directed something at him and Isak was the only one who noticed that he stopped breathing when Anders explained that he had tasted the sauce earlier and had burned his tongue, biting his lip so hard it had started bleeding when he had recoiled from the pain. Isak put a hand on Even’s thigh and kept it there throughout dinner.

When they returned back to Isak’s flat, they barely spoke but it was no longer because Even was desperately ignoring Isak but because he seemed to be processing everything that had happened tonight. Isak made a mental note to bring up going hunting together tomorrow if Even felt less out of it by then. When he sank down on the sofa, he threw his head back and sighed loudly; he felt completely exhausted.

Even seemed unsure what to do at first and he was already by the door to his room, when he turned back around and whispered a timid, “Thank you.” In the blink of an eye, he stood in front of Isak, leaning down to press a kiss high on Isak’s cheekbone, his fingers tangling in Isak’s hair for a moment before he pulled away and was back at his room.

Isak barely heard his goodnight, too caught off guard by what had just happened. There was the most delicious swooping in his stomach and Isak could still feel Even’s plush lips against his skin hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could it be that Isak and Even finally get somewhere???? 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts about this chapters in the comments or on my tumblr julian-dahl


	10. † C H A P T E R   N I N E †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings in the end notes

Death was something that had been on Even’s mind quite frequently for a long time. He had thought about it every time he had been in a depressive episode and once he’d even attempted suicide.

So death had been a faithful companion to him through most of his life.

During manic episodes, he had felt invincible at times, to the point where he had been convinced he was immortal. It had resulted in broken bones and many hospital stays. And subsequently in thinking about death again.

Even when Even had made peace with his sickness, he couldn’t stop thinking about death, obsessing over it. But for the first time ever, on his Soulmate Day, he had actually been hopeful. Death hadn’t scared him at all because he had just wanted to find his soulmate, the person that would make living easier and with whom he wouldn’t mind living a million years longer.

It might have been wishful thinking, obviously his problems wouldn’t be solved with meeting the person made just for him. But it had given him strength.

And on that one day, that one day when he just wanted to  _ live _ , he had died.

Or almost died.

Even wasn’t sure about the rules here.

Either way, it had seemed like the most cruel joke, especially considering he had died in the knowledge that he would never meet his soulmate. So when he had woken up again, he’d obviously been incredibly angry with his murderer.

And now he was actually immortal and had a soulmate that he could spend forever with.

Even had a hard time wrapping his head around that, and the not quite minuscule detail that Isak was the killer in this scenario. And he had hated him, passionately so, because once again an outside force had taken the chance of making his own decisions from him. After only a month, the anger and frustration still caught him off guard sometimes.

But Isak was also charming and funny, and he made sure Even didn’t feel completely alone. He had given him a home while knowing very well that Even loathed him, he had calmed him down so he hadn’t killed his father and Even still felt his soothing hand on his thigh, keeping him grounded.

And he was Even’s soulmate.

Even was thinking about death again. But for once he was thinking about the death of other people. Of what it had felt like to smell and see Sonja bleeding and wanting to taste; of his dad. With his head clear now, he knew he would have sunk into a hole of self-hatred had he actually killed them, but in that moment, the possibility seemed enticing.

It was in their nature, Isak had said not long ago and Even understood it completely now that he had felt pure instinct take over.

He wanted this feeling to last.

He wanted to kill.

Which meant he wouldn’t get to see his family and friends until he had that urge under control.

Even lay in bed — after having vomited blood as soon as he had woken up, Isak had ordered a new mattress and it was weird to think that Isak hadn’t slept in it himself yet — and stared up at the dark ceiling.  For some reason, it had only sunk in today that he was actually a vampire; for one, he had held his breath far longer than humanly possible, then there had been the bloodlust obviously, and now that he listened for it, it also occurred to him that his heart wasn’t making a sound when it should be pounding frantically from everything that had happened.

He closed his eyes before the panic in his chest took actual shape and focused on the lulling sound of breathing coming from the other side of the flat until Even felt calm enough for his brain to shut off.

 

Familiar surroundings kept Even sane. So when he sat up in bed the next morning and felt like his whole world was falling apart because he once again had no idea who he was and what his purpose in this world was, he stood up and went over to the closet.

Isak’s scent had become familiar to him.

He opened the closet doors and brushed his fingers against the clothes inside, burying his nose in a sweater and inhaling deeply. The smell of the lavender detergent Isak used filled his nostrils and if he concentrated hard enough, he could almost make out the smell of the berries Isak used to eat when he had still been human even though that was impossible but maybe centuries later, this scent had just become  _ Isak _ .

Isak was making breakfast — scrambled eggs — when Even left his room. Even didn’t understand why he did it when they actually didn’t need food other than blood but he was glad for it anyway. It was another comfort thing.

“Did you add some sour cream?” Even spoke up, startling Isak where he was quietly humming along to a song playing from his phone.

“Sour cream?” Isak turned his head to look at him curiously, cheeks a pretty pink — Even still had to get used to the fact that anything humans could do that was blood-related, they could still do as well and he’d be forever grateful for being able to see Isak blush — his eyes following Even as he joined him by the counter. “G-good morning,” He added as an afterthought.

Even smiled, enjoying that Isak seemed flustered that he’d even come out of his room. “Good morning, Isak,” He replied and then explained, “Yeah, sour cream. My dad always puts it in the eggs, it makes them  _ so _ good.”

Isak raised his eyebrow. “Yeah?” The colour in his cheeks deepened, “Well, I don’t have any sour cream here right now. Next time?”

Even shrugged and suggested, “I could run to the shop and get some? I’ll be fast.” He knew from Isak’s stories — and enough movies — that vampires had inhuman speed and he’d been excited to try it out ever since but so far hadn’t gotten the chance to leave the house besides the dinner last night. This was the perfect opportunity.

Apparently, Isak saw the excitement shining in his eyes because he laughed and nodded. “Alright, get us some sour cream.”

_ Us _ . Even smiled big at the sound of that. He had always dreamt of being a part of an entity like that. He was already in his shoes and coat before Isak finished that sentence and before he headed out the door, he called over his shoulder, “Don’t burn the flat down while I’m gone!”

He giggled when he heard Isak’s spluttering and his heart felt so full.

Even ran to the corner shop, so focused on his tumultuous feelings and getting back to the flat (and Isak) as fast as possible that he couldn’t even say what it was like to move at insane speed when he barged back into the flat, coming to a skidding halt in front of Isak, so close that their chests were touching with every exhale.

Their eyes met and it hit Even unexpectedly, this memory of that same blue gaze and Even hoping that the things he was feeling meant he was looking at his soulmate— and then he had been attacked. He cleared his throat, taking a step back from Isak and holding out the sour cream. “Here,” He clipped, trying to sort his thoughts.

Isak hesitated a second, seemingly noticing the sudden change in the atmosphere, but then asked quietly, “Can you show me how much to use?”

So Even did, luckily distracting himself enough to not fall into the trap that his head tried to lure him into.

During breakfast, he tentatively brought the conversation to hunting, only to realise that Isak, as well, thought Even should take that next step. 

 

The sun had barely risen when Isak ushered Even into a car he’d borrowed from a friend so they could skip town for a bit. Isak had called in sick at work so they had unlimited time.

Even had no idea where Isak was planning to go, but he trusted him to do this right. He had told Even that it was safer to get out to a remote area because they didn’t know how Even would take his first time hunting. (It wouldn’t be ideal if he went completely berserk and wanted to kill all of Oslo, or if someone accidentally spotted him killing someone.)

It was impossible to say how much time passed between entering the car and leaving it again. Even had been so focused on Isak. He had asked him how it was to go hunting for the first time and Isak had told him about his first time and while Even did believe the part about not feeling remorse — the two times he’d wanted nothing more than to suck people he loved dry had shown him that — he had thought about the literal action way too much and it had made him feel a little nauseous. 

Isak, apparently, had noticed his uncomfortableness right away and as a distraction technique had asked Even if there was any event in world history he’d like to have a first-hand recount of.

As the movie nerd that he was, Even had immediately replied, “Late 1800s. Arrival of a Train… is it true that people were scared so much that they ran to the back of the room, screaming?”

Isak had taken his eyes off the street for a moment to shoot Even the most adorably confused look he’d ever seen. “How do you even know about that?” 

Even had smirked, leaning back in his seat more comfortably. “One, there’s Google, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Two, movies are my thing so of course I’d know about one of the first ones made. Now tell me everything,” He had demanded. 

It had soon become clear that Isak was less enthusiastic about motion pictures than Even so he couldn’t really tell him a lot about its beginnings but they had ended up in an entertaining discussion about vampire movies.

“You haven’t seen Interview with the Vampire? That’s a  _ classic _ !”

Isak had just rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen Dracula — every single version out there — and the depiction of vampires is just  _ wrong _ . I’ve had enough of movies like that!”

Even had gasped dramatically, really only taking the piss when he had said, “So you haven’t seen Twilight either? It’s a  _ masterpiece _ !”

Isak had rolled his eyes. “Nice try. Vilde forced me to watch that. I hope you’re not disappointed you’re not sparkling in the sun because if you are, I’ll have to revoke your right to be my soulmate.”

Even had laughed until it felt as if his face hurt from smiling so hard, any anxiety he had felt now gone.

“So what’s happening now?” Even asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as they were standing by the car, surrounded by trees and black mountains.

Isak smirked, “Now we find us some victims.”

The words made Even’s stomach drop but more with excitement than with queasiness. “How do we do that? Anything to keep in mind?” He asked, nervous energy buzzing through his veins.

“Damn, you’re adorable,” Isak blurted, eyes widening as soon as he said it, apparently regretting his words. He cleared his throat and stalked off, Even following him.

They walked for a bit, a winding path up into the woods. “The trick is to distance yourself from your feelings. Don’t think about your victim and its life,” Isak told him quietly when he stopped in his tracks. They were hidden by trees but if Even listened closely, he could hear chatter farther up. There must be a cabin up there or people hiking.

Even’s mind immediately went to those people, how they were probably there to have a relaxing vacation before Christmas and now they would— Even squeezed his eyes shut, remembering what Isak had said. No feelings.

They crept along the path until a cabin came into view. As luck would have it, the door opened and a man stepped outside, still laughing about something.

Isak turned to Even and winked, mouthing, “Watch me.” He stepped out of the shadows and approached the man who was gathering firewood in his arms, completely unaware of his looming fate. Isak didn’t waste any time with ridiculous smalltalk and attacked right away: graceful movements and flexing muscles as he snaked his arms around the man in a death grip, grinning wickedly as Even saw his fangs protruding and then sinking them into soft skin.

The man struggled against Isak with everything he got and Even could feel his own fingertips tingling with how much he wanted to feel the struggle beneath them. The smell of blood made Even dizzy, everything in him tried to pull him closer.

As if reading his thoughts, Isak let go of his victim that had gone weak and didn’t fight anymore, his fangs tinted red when he flashed them at Even in a smirk. “Wanna join?” He asked, an almost teasing lilt to his voice.

There was absolutely nothing that made Even hesitate. He knelt by Isak’s side in seconds, curiously reaching out to touch his fingers to the punctures in the neck. Some blood trickled out and when Even removed his hand again, he rubbed the blood between his fingers, feeling how velvety it was to the touch. And then he brought it to his mouth, coating his lips and tongue with it. 

“Try some,” Isak suggested gently, nudging the limp body in his arms closer to Even.

Even was shaking — if from anticipation or nervousness, he couldn’t exactly tell — and then held their victim in his arms. There was the smallest hint of a heartbeat still, making instincts take over. He shot Isak another glance, who nodded encouragingly at him, and then he sank his teeth into the neck.

It was—

Even felt euphoric, holding a warm body in his arms and feeling the life drain out of it, the sweet taste of blood on his tongue. He felt disappointed when the last drop hit his lips, the body sliding into his lap and then down to the ground carelessly. He gazed at Isak with wide eyes, blinking in surprise when Isak was looking at him with a happy — and maybe proud — smile.

“Is there— I want to—“ Even’s thoughts were running a million miles an hour, and while he was used to feeling this way, it was also different because he felt more in control than he had ever done during an episode.

Isak inclined his head toward the cabin. “All yours,” He encouraged, referring to the lone heartbeat coming from inside. 

Seeing as they couldn’t enter places without being invited in, they had to wait for the other person to come outside — but they didn’t have to wait long.

A woman stepped outside a couple moments later, smile on her face as she asked in a laughing tone, “What’s taking you so long? Are you—“ Her scream interrupted her question.

The sound sent a thrill down Even’s spine and he charged at her before she even realised that she wasn’t alone with her dead boyfriend, husband, soulmate?

For such a small person, she was incredibly strong and Even didn’t have experience like Isak had so he struggled a bit to subdue her but he managed to do it eventually and while still feeling her put up a fight, he sank his teeth into her neck, eagerly sucking her dry.

When he dropped her, an elated laugh escaped his lips. Then his eyes met Isak’s, who was just fondly smiling at him and something snapped in Even. He was staring at his gorgeous soulmate and they’d just killed two people together; he had never felt closer to anyone.

He wanted to feel this connection on a physical level as well.

“Even, your face,” Isak laughed, the giggles bubbling out of him making Even’s skin buzz again.

Even broke into a smile and then he was in Isak’s space, crowding him against a tree in a way that was maybe a little too rough but Even  _ wanted _ , so he took.

He crashed their lips together, his hands rucking up Isak’s sweater as he splayed them out across his warm skin, pulling him close into his own body.

Isak was clearly shocked for the first couple seconds, his mouth slack against Even’s but before Even could make up his mind and pull away, apologising profusely, Isak’s hands tangled in Even’s hair and he reciprocated the kiss enthusiastically.

“Even, fuck,” Isak gasped into his mouth.

Even grinned, rolling his hips into Isak’s, drawing a moan out of both of them. He felt every bit like a teenage boy even though he was twenty-one but he couldn’t quite remember the last time he had craved someone so much.

“Even,” Isak whispered again, tilting his head a little to give Even room to move his lips to his neck. The hands in Even’s hair tightening when Even started sucking on the skin.

Even moved his hands down to his thighs as he kept his lips against Isak’s neck and then he hoisted Isak up with ease, who immediately wrapped his legs around Even. “I want you so bad,” He gasped, going back to kissing Isak’s lips.

Isak nodded deliriously, panting, “Take me.”

It startled Even a little to hear those words that once upon a time Isak’s first love had said to Isak and he felt something flare in his chest that couldn’t be anything but jealousy. If he had needed confirmation about how he felt for his soulmate, he had it now. 

Even wondered how unethical it would be to use the bed in the victims’ cabin but when Isak suggested exactly that a moment later, he didn’t care anymore and carried Isak over there, lips never parting.

They were lucky enough that it turned out their victims had been the owners of the cabin since they could actually enter it. Even dropped Isak on the mattress, immediately leaning over him to kiss him again. Only when he realised that he couldn’t take his clothes off while he kept kissing Isak did he pull away, kneeling between Isak’s legs as he hurried to get his shirt over his head. By the time he could see again, Isak had his shirt off as well and he was sitting up to put his hands against Even’s skin and then his lips were against Even’s soulmate mark, kissing and licking and biting.

Even leaned back a little, putting his hands against the mattress behind him. He closed his eyes, panting when he gave in to the sensation of Isak’s mouth on him.

Isak’s lips wandered up and when their lips met again, so did their eyes, Isak’s so incredibly green, the silver specks pulsating in tune with their heavy breaths. They paused for a moment, Isak’s gaze so big and open, pleading. Even wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking of him but he looked so young that it hurt and Even put his promises in the next kiss.

“Even, I…” Isak trailed off, for a couple of seconds he didn’t even dare to breathe.

Even hummed, caressing his face gently. “I know.” Maybe it was an  _ I love you _ or another  _ I’m sorry _ or even an  _ I want you _ , “Me too.”

Isak inhaled heavily, shakily. Nodding to himself as if he had gotten an answer for something. Carefully, he pushed Even back until he lay on the mattress and then he sealed their lips back together for a long, deep kiss before his lips moved downward again. He sucked Even’s nipple into his mouth, teasing it a little before doing the same to the other and then his lips were back on Even’s mark on his ribs, his thumb catching against a hardened nipple while his other hand moved down sneakily.

Even closed his eyes, giving himself completely to Isak, arching into him. He gasped when cold air hit his erection, Isak having pulled down his jeans and boxers. And then it wasn’t cold at all anymore when Isak’s warm mouth wrapped around him unceremoniously. Even thought he could hear his heart beating in his ears — and he was glad for that sensation because thinking about how his heart was  _ not _ beating anymore would probably push him down a hole he didn’t want to go down, especially not right now.

Even grabbed the sheets under him, moaning at how skilled Isak’s lips and tongue worked on him (300 years of practice made you a master at sucking cock probably) as if he knew exactly what Even was craving. Within seconds, he felt like bursting, urging Isak on with tiny thrusts of his hips, his cock sliding farther down Isak’s throat. “Isak, I’m gonna—“

Isak suckled on his tip and then pulled off, smirking. “Want you. In me. Now,” He panted, sliding up his body to kiss him, deliberately avoiding his hard length as to not give it the little bit of friction he needed to get off.

In a smooth movement, Isak rolled on his back, pulling Even on top of him. He didn’t break the wet slide of their mouths together as he wiggled out of his pants, both of them finally gloriously naked.

Isak spread his legs for Even, his hands sliding down his sides, one of them once again pressing into Even’s mark, making Even feel like he was burning under the touch. The other went to his ass, pulling Even in closer. He moaned when their erections were forced together. “Isak,” He breathed, unable to form any other words than his soulmate’s name. He bit at Isak’s jaw before he trailed his lips to Isak’s collarbone and his mark there.

It hit him that they had been destined to be together for the past 300 years. Since Isak had been born.

“Even, I need…  _ something _ ,” Isak choked out and Even was pulled back into the here and now, feeling how desperate they both were when Isak rolled his hips into his.

Even slipped his hand between them, wrapping his fingers gingerly around Isak and pumping a few times. “We don’t have lube,” He realised a moment later but promptly decided to use his spit instead. When he pushed a finger into Isak, Even thought he’d black out any moment. He had never felt quite like this before; his eyes caught on the mark on Isak, identical to his own, and he knew he’d never feel anything quite like this again because Isak was his soulmate — and would be for all eternity — and he couldn’t believe how overwhelming it all felt. His lips latched onto Isak’s skin again, worshipping him with his lips as his fingers opened him up.

“Even,  _ please _ ,” Isak babbled, eyes closed and grip tight on Even as he rocked himself on Even’s fingers.

Even nodded, carefully pulling out. They kissed again for a while, Even’s hands exploring Isak’s body, wanting to memorise every bit of pale, smooth skin.

It felt like a revelation when he lined up with Isak’s hole eventually, pushing in slowly. Isak quickly grew impatient though and pulled him closer, both of them breathing heavily when he slid in more. Even squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stave off his impending orgasm like that.

When he paused for a moment to catch his bearings, Isak’s hands landed on his ass and he pulled him in completely, making a drawn-out moan leave his lips while Even just stopped breathing altogether.

Isak rolled his hips a little, trying out the feeling of Even in him and then burst into a fit of giggles.

Even smiled albeit confused but it was incredible to see Isak happy. Hadn’t yet seen him quite this happy in the month knowing him. He traced the laughter lines in his cheeks, mesmerised. “You’re so beautiful,” He whispered, couldn’t help himself.

Isak’s expression sobered immediately but turned soft, something that Even couldn’t quite pinpoint shining in his eyes. “Kiss me,” Isak whispered, averting his eyes as he took a deep breath.

Even wanted to ask him if he was okay, if there was anything on his mind that bothered him but when Even hesitated, Isak moved again and Even remembered that he was still inside Isak and his mind blanked a little as he crushed their lips together and then started moving. “You feel so good,” Even whispered into Isak’s mouth, snapping his hips, his thrusts long and deep.

Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s neck, scratching at his shoulders while the other hand was buried in his hair. He met Even’s movements halfway, moaning louder with every time the friction on his cock was just right when it got trapped between their bodies.

“Even,” Isak sobbed, his grip in Even’s hair tightening and his eyes flying open, searching Even’s face for something.

Even didn’t know what he was looking for but he held his gaze, hoping Isak got his answers in there.

The hand that wasn’t in Even’s hair moved to Even’s face then, cupping it, there was an almost sad smile on Isak’s lips. The way their bodies moved together turned less frantic and more languid then, the slide of their lips against each other’s soft.

Only a couple minutes later, Isak tensed under him, coming with a loud moan and Even’s name on his lips. The clench of Isak around him made him follow right after, his climax shaking Even apart. Even though he’d rather collapse right on top of Isak, he didn’t, instead holding himself up with his elbows, both of them panting with the aftermath of their orgasms.

Isak’s head was turned to the side so Even could see how clenched his jaw was, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. Even was entirely confused by that sight because he felt nothing but ease and happiness burning in his chest. He stayed where he was, still buried deep inside Isak despite it getting a little uncomfortable and moved his hands along Isak’s side in a soft caress that made Isak start, his breath hitching. Even’s brow furrowed; he leaned down closer to Isak again, running his nose along Isak’s. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He whispered, his lips gently brushing against Isak’s cheek and jaw.

“Can you—“ Isak choked out, still not looking at him, but he moved his hips a little, the grimace they both made indicating what Isak wanted.

Even did as he was asked but he wanted to stay as close as possible to Isak because he couldn’t take him looking so sad.

Isak, however, had different plans, rolling out from under him and sitting up, his feet hitting the ground as he sat there hunched over. He still didn’t look at Even.

And Even started to panic. Maybe Isak hadn’t liked it, maybe he thought Even was exceptionally bad at sex. Or maybe, the worst case scenario: he was thinking of Julian right now and how he wished he could have been his soulmate instead of Even. 300 years later and Julian was still the love of his life even after he had betrayed him.

Even’s head was a dangerous place to get lost in so his immediate next thought was that he wondered if that would be him in 300 years, pining after someone long lost while he was lying with someone else.

Before he could be sucked too deep into that downward spiral, he scooted closer to Isak, gently touching his hand to Isak’s back, trying not to think too hard about the way Isak flinched. He trailed his fingers along Isak’s spine, sitting up a little to press a kiss to his shoulder blade.

Isak grew rigid.

“What is it?” Even mumbled, desperate now, as he sat up completely, the duvet pooling forgotten in his lap. If this was the first and last time he could have this, he wanted to savour every second of it. He wrapped his arms around Isak’s shoulders, thumb of his right hand pressing into the mark on Isak’s collarbone as he buried his nose and face in Isak’s curls.

It took a while until Isak at least somewhat relaxed in his embrace. His voice almost broke when he admitted quietly, “I’m scared you only were with me like this because you were in a blood rush. I shouldn’t have let you…” His lips left a shuddering breath.

Even hugged Isak even closer. He knew what it felt like to realise he had been used and he  _ needed _ Isak to know that wasn’t the case here. Even had experience in making rash decisions because his head would lure him into a false sense of security but this was none of that. It  _ couldn’t _ be that because if none of this were real, he’d still not trust Isak so completely or have forgiven him. (He didn’t think he’d forgiven him completely yet, knew not to make assumptions like that when his brain was as treacherous as it was and could turn on him any second, but he did trust Isak or he wouldn’t have slept with him.)

“I’m your soulmate, Isak,” Even whispered and it might not mean much to Isak but Isak must have caught on by now how much that meant to Even. Isak had to know that he didn’t have to think about the past, about Julian or his and Even’s rocky start, because he  _ had _ Even now. Forever. “I promise you right now, I will never betray you,” He couldn’t help but make that small dig at the boy who Isak had loved first; partly out of jealousy but it also came from a place of love, “Never abandon you. If you die, I die.” He’d always had a penchant for the dramatic but as soon as he said it, he knew it was true. He didn’t even want to imagine what a world without Isak would be like — there was no other explanation for why he had stayed with Isak for so long even when he had still hated him.

Isak sank against his chest, shuddering. “I forgot what it’s like to love someone,” He whispered and it was clear how much he put himself out there, how much it took to admit that.

Even didn’t know how Isak had always made him feel less alone so far and Even wanted to give some of that back in any way he could. “I love you. And I’ll make sure you won’t ever forget that again,” Even promised, running his nose along Isak’s jaw. “Now come lie with me.” He let go of Isak, giving him the option to leave or stay, though he genuinely hoped it would be the latter. Laying down on his back, Even tried his best not to stare at Isak too hard but he couldn’t really  _ not _ do it.

Isak sat stock-still, not breathing while Even could basically hear his thoughts running wild. What seemed like hours later, he turned around to look at Even, who sent him a hopeful but scared smile. Whatever Isak saw on Even’s face in that moment made him deflate and he crawled back into bed, mirroring Even’s position as he stared up at the ceiling.

Another beat passed before Even asked, “Can I cuddle you?”

That seemed to be exactly the right words because Isak scooted a little closer and let Even wrap an arm around him. He hesitated to rest his head against Even’s chest but when he did, Even breathed a sigh of relief and pressed a kiss to the top of Isak’s hair.

Eventually, Isak slung his arm around Even’s middle and the tension left both of them. He tilted up his head a little to look at Even and Even wanted to make a home in the dip of his upper lip so he kissed that spot because it was the closest thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: mentions of suicide attempt, quite graphic murder
> 
> Tell me what you thought about the chapter <3


	11. † C H A P T E R   T E N †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings in the end notes

Love was not kind to Isak. The first time he had loved wholeheartedly, he had been too arrogant to admit it and maybe or maybe not he had deserved ending up on the gallows. The second time hadn’t been as intense, as all-consuming but Isak had been able to imagine growing old with him — even though only one of them would actually grow old. Except that Chris had decided to grow old with his soulmate instead.

And now, Even.

Loving Even was scary.

It was scary because Isak knew his love gave Even the power to break him. He didn’t know if it was the soulmate bond that made him feel this way or if it was just his natural reaction to Even — and really, it didn’t matter — but losing Even was not an option anymore now that he knew what it was like to have him.

Even had assured him that he would always be there. But what if he was not? What if the excitement of having killed for the first time wore off and he went back to hating Isak?

As much as Isak tried to ignore those nagging feelings, he couldn’t push them away completely. It didn’t work that fast and it had only been a day.

It didn’t matter that he was lying in bed — his own one after they had finally left the cabin — naked, the smell of Even (coconut and a hint of ink, cozy and warm and comfortable) surrounding him as Isak’s face was buried in the pillow that should be his but he had never actually slept on it.

“Stop thinking so loud,” Even murmured, his hand gently brushing against Isak’s shoulder as the sheets ruffled at the movement.

Isak turned his head so his cheek was mushed against the pillow and he could look at Even who was lying on his side, a small smile tugging his lips up. “I love you,” Isak whispered, because he liked to torture himself, and then he quickly closed his eyes before seeing Even’s reaction. He couldn’t bear it.

Even’s fingers brushed from his shoulder to his shoulder blade and then to the knobs of Isak’s spine, dancing over them in a loving caress. “I love you,” Even repeated and it sounded like a prayer.

For a moment, Isak let himself smile, pretending that he could have this.

And then he heard the inevitable sigh. It hurt even when he had known it was coming. But Even didn’t break his heart in that moment, instead it just cracked and maybe that was worse. “How long do we have to stay in this bed for you to believe this is not the blood rush?” He asked, pain laced in his voice. It sounded like he had been at this point once before.

“Can we just stay here forever?” Isak whispered and a stake to the heart couldn’t be more painful than this.

Even scooted closer, his hand resting at the small of his back. “We can,” He assured Isak and drew him in closer, bumping their noses together before sealing their lips together.

They kissed until Isak was smiling against Even’s lips and they couldn’t kiss anymore because Even was smiling too. He brushed his thumb against Isak’s cheekbone instead, mumbling, “I love seeing your smile.”

It momentarily made Isak’s smile bigger because this felt _ so real  _ right now. He wiggled around until he could hide his face against Even’s chest, tightening his grip around him and inhaling deeply. “I love your smell,” He said, voice muffled against Even’s skin. Isak could feel the vibrations of Even’s laughter and the soothing of his fingertips against his back. “Tell me about you,” He sighed, nuzzling his nose harder against Even’s chest, “Are you a writer?”

Even sounded perplexed when he echoed, “A writer?”

Isak nodded, his lips brushed Even’s skin as he spoke, “Because of the ink. You smell like it… like a brand new book.”

That made Even chuckle. “Wow, Isak. Is that the kind of compliments you give? Telling people they smell like books? 300 years and that’s the best you can do?” He teased.

Isak looked up at him, his nose bumping Even’s chin. “Shut up,” He pouted.

Even laughed and pressed a kiss to Isak’s lips. “I’m not a writer. I draw…”

“Really?” Isak couldn’t believe he’d known Even for a month and hadn’t known about that until now, “What do you draw?” He moved around until he was face to face with Even.

Even ran his nose along Isak’s, smiling. “All kinds of things… people, nature, architecture. In ink obviously but mostly digital art. I went to school for animation before—“ He cleared his throat, “Before you happened.” He squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing at the implication.

Isak immediately felt guilty again, wanting to pull away but Even held onto him.

“Isak,” Even implored, ghosting his lips against Isak’s cheek and nose, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“And I shouldn’t have—“

Even didn’t let him finish that sentence, pressing his lips to Isak’s — hard and deep. When he pulled away, he tugged Isak’s face against the crook of his neck. “I’ll tell you more about myself, okay?” He suggested quietly.

Isak nodded jerkily, smushing his lips against Even’s neck. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled.

He felt Even shaking his head and then he started talking. About his dreams, his hopes, his passions. Isak couldn’t help the smile slowly tugging his lips up at hearing how excited Even sounded explaining the process behind his art. Isak fell more in love with him.

 

Even made it so easy to forget that Isak could lose this in the blink of an eye again. He made Isak feel appreciated and loved with his words and touches and smiles and Isak wanted this for all eternity.

They had spent almost two whole days in bed, Even tugging Isak back against his chest every time he wanted to leave and reminding him of his words from earlier about convincing Isak that he meant it.

At some point, he had asked, “What else can I do to make you believe? Can I take you on a date?”

And Isak hadn’t had a date in about twenty years, he was desperate for it so he had agreed if only to feel that warmth in his chest a little longer.

He was bundled up in his coat and scarf, pulling a beanie over his head while Even already waited by the door, bouncing on his feet, his whole face lit up with the biggest smile. Isak walked up to him and kissed the smile off his lips because fuck it if he wasn’t going to indulge in this as long as he could.

Even grabbed his hand and dragged him outside to the tram that would take them to the Christmas market. He didn’t let go for the whole ride, standing chest to chest with Isak and smiling down at him, babbling about how excited he was about taking Isak out.

When they exited the tram and walked the short distance to the Christmas market, the air was already filled with the smell of gløgg and all different kinds of foods and the sound of laughter.

Even held his hand and it caught Isak off guard to realise that this was the first time in his existence that he could do this without any real fear. He could hold the hand of the boy he loved and not be scared of being persecuted or feeling different of everyone else. People took the soulmate marks for what they were nowadays: a physical sign of two souls being bonded for eternity. It wasn’t the creation of Satan anymore when two people of the same gender fell in love.

Isak went through so many different stages of the world rejecting and shunning homosexuality that it was still hard to fathom  _ this _ now.

As if sensing Isak’s inner turmoil, Even squeezed his hand and when their gazes met, Even smiled so brightly it felt as if Isak’s heart wanted to start beating again.

“Isak,” There was a lovely blush on Even’s cheeks as he moved to stand in front of Isak, eyes wide with something Isak couldn’t identify. Even’s thumbs rubbed against Isak’s skin as they stood chest to chest. “I…” Even took a shaky breath and disentangled one hand from Isak’s resting it against Isak’s cheek, his thumb picking his movement back up. And then he leaned in and brought their lips together in the softest kiss.

Isak gasped against Even, his eyelids fluttering shut. Kissing Even was unlike anything: it was the sweetest dream after he had forgotten what it was like to dream; the most-deeply buried secret about himself, a longing for safety. Kissing Even was new and old at the same time. An old memory he didn’t know had been inside of him all this time.

Even pulled away and Isak chased after his lips. He only opened his eyes when Even breathed a sigh. His gaze was warm and his smile a little sad when he whispered, “This should have been our first kiss. I shouldn’t have attacked you like I did. But… I meant it the same way as I do now, Isak.”

“I love you,” Isak replied because it was the only thing that seemed to make sense, deeply rooted in his heart, his soul, and it hurt to say it, suffocated him a little, but it was a universal truth nonetheless and he’d say it until Even silenced him and told him he didn’t want that.

Something flashed over Even’s features but his expression smoothed over a moment later and he kissed Isak again, slow and deep before he pulled Isak to the next best booth, exclaiming excitedly, “Let’s get drunk on gløgg!”

Even’s enthusiasm was the loveliest thing Isak had ever seen and he felt almost like himself, the him he was before Even, when he teased good-naturedly, “That’s not quite how it works.” Before they could really get drunk, the blood in their bodies would have worn off enough to prohibit that reaction.

Even rolled his eyes, completely unperturbed when he ordered two mugs of the hot beverage, smiling brightly when he held one out to Isak. “You know, this has always been my favourite thing about Christmas. Going to Christmas markets and the smell in the air, being around people you love,” Even said, his icy blue eyes set on Isak as if he tried to figure out all his deepest, darkest secrets.

Isak gulped down the heaviness in his throat, blurting, “You’re my favourite thing.” 

“I am?” Even seemed genuinely confused but he broke into the biggest smile, his eyes crinkling up.

Isak couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to even spend this little time with him. “You are,” He confirmed quietly, drumming his fingers against the mug in his hands. “Do you know,” He felt heat in his cheeks, “That the silver specks in your eyes look like clouds? And I feel like if I let myself fall, they’d catch me in their endless warmth?”

Even’s gaze was soft as he closed the distance between them, resting his hand against Isak’s neck and running his nose along Isak’s. “I’m here to catch you, always, okay? My soul.”

Isak almost spilled all of his gløgg when he wrapped his arms around Even’s middle, squeezing him tight and pressing his face against his chest.

When they pulled away from each other, Even was smiling so sweetly at him that Isak wanted to melt right back into him. “We have two options,” Even affectionately tugged Isak’s beanie farther over his ears, “After we finish our drinks, we can either look for something to eat or,” And at that, his eyes lit up even more, “We can go to the ice rink.”

Isak didn’t want to see Even’s face fall so he easily agreed to the second option. They might as well watch some bundled up kids flailing around on the ice.

While they sipped on their gløgg, Even talked about how he’d come here every year and his eyes lit up as he told Isak about his friends and family. Isak couldn’t stop smiling because while he had liked opening up about himself to Even, it made him incredibly happy to learn more about Even now and he carefully stored away each piece of information he found out about his soulmate.

From the way his tongue peeked out at the corner of his mouth when he was thinking about a small detail in his retelling of a memory that would seem insignificant to anyone else but wasn’t to Even — so it wasn’t to Isak either — to the inward curl of his shoulders and how he tried to make himself smaller when he remembered that he had hurt someone that was dear to his heart and no matter if it had been years since then or only a couple of weeks (when it came to his friend Sonja), he couldn’t quite forgive himself for his words or actions.

Isak filed away the different important people in Even’s life as well: Sonja up front. They’d met when they were just kids, pretty close from the beginning and growing inseparable during and after Even’s diagnosis. She’d been his rock, the person he could come to any time for so many years and she had stayed by his side even when he had continuously hurt her. She was always just there and now she had proved it again when Even had hurt her once more after being turned but she’d still sent him countless messages, making sure he was doing alright.

“I just love her a lot,” Even sighed, a self-deprecating smile on his lips.

Isak could relate. He had a bond like that with Vilde and being unable to see her whenever he wanted was tough. “You miss her,” It wasn’t a question, they both knew it was the simple truth, “You will see her again, Even. Promise. A couple more weeks until you get your urges under control and you can have your best friend back.”

Even licked his dry lips, the forced smile turning into something softer. He kissed the taste of Christmas and winter, of love and longing off Isak’s lips and Isak had to close his eyes when Even took their empty cups and brought them back to the booth. Isak had to focus on his breathing because not breathing felt like his head was exploding.

He wanted Even to hold on to him forever.

And maybe, in the way Even’s eyes shone, his lips curved in the softest smile, Isak could let himself believe that they could actually have forever.

Even pulled Isak into his side as they walked to the ice rink — except that they made a detour to the booth that rented out the skates and realisation slowly dawned on Isak.

He was shaking his head furiously, unable to even utter a word, while Even nodded excitedly. “Yes, Isak. Come on!”

Isak laughed when Even stumbled over his own feet in his haste to put on the ice skates and that couldn’t bode well for Even’s skills on the ice.

But Even kept smiling so Isak was too and he held out his hands for Even in assistance when he stood back up from the bench, on wobbly feet. Isak didn’t let go of his hands, instead he stepped closer and pressed his mouth to Even’s, melting into the kiss until they pulled away with soft sighs and Even mumbled, “Help me over to the rink.”

Isak hadn’t planned to let go of Even anyway.

“And you’re sure you don’t want to join me?” Even made sure as he stepped onto the ice, the grip on Isak’s hand tightening.

Isak shook his head, smiling. (Smiling so hard, it almost hurt.) “Someone needs to cheer you on from the sidelines after all,” He argued, biting his lip in an attempt to stifle the giggling bubbling up in his throat when Even attempted to wink at him.

Even’s knees where wobbling as he let go of Isak and held onto the railing instead and Isak furrowed his brow when Even pushed away from it, standing on the ice without support. His legs were traitorous, going in different directions.

Isak was torn between laughing at his ridiculous soulmate and worrying about him.

He looked rather helpless as he slid across the ice, arms stretched away from his body as he tried to find his balance — without success. “Look, it’s fun, Isak! Join me?”

Isak laughed, shaking his head.

“Please,” Even pouted and he was damn near to convincing Isak, “It’s tradition!”

Isak didn’t know much about Even’s traditions but going ice skating and making a fool of himself was not one of Isak’s traditions. Sure, he wouldn’t mind making it a tradition to watch Even struggle on the ice every year but someone would have to put a stake through him before he did it himself. “You look like Bambi, it’s hilarious,” He chuckled, shaking his head fondly, “Is that your tradition? Reenacting Bambi being on the ice for the first time?”

Even’s arms made a rowing motion and he almost lost his footing. His cheeks were a gorgeous pink and he seemed out of breath when he told Isak, “Well, be the Thumper to my Bambi and help me out a little here, my soul.”

Isak felt a shiver running down his back at the term of endearment.

Apparently, Even knew him quite well already because he tagged on challengingly, “Or will you just be a second Bambi?”

Isak huffed, rolling his eyes. “In a different life, I was a figure skater. I don’t need to prove anything to you. I’m the master at ice skating!” He lied, grinning when he saw Even’s eyes widen.

“You’re kidding,” He said dubiously, somewhere between a question and a statement.

Isak just smirked, refraining from giving Even the answer to that. And then he promptly burst into laughter when a child accidentally bumped into his already flailing soulmate and knocked him straight off his feet so he fell on his butt, the suddenness of it making his eyes go wide and he blinked owlishly as if trying to figure out what had just happened.

And Isak just couldn’t stop laughing, he was helplessly endeared.

He looked away from Even for a second, wanting to see if some of the other people were just as amused by the entertainment his soulmate offered.

However, he froze when his gaze locked with familiar brown eyes. Isak blinked and looked back at his soulmate, making sure he was still there. Something uncomfortable unfurled in his stomach but he quickly managed to shake himself out of it. Even was there, struggling to get back on his feet on the ice and when Isak flashed his eyes back to the spot where he had seen the ghost of his past, the apparition had disappeared again.

Isak closed his eyes for a second, reminded himself that this couldn’t be real. It had been 300 years. Ever since his Soulmate Day, he’d just been so confronted with his past that he was starting to see things.

“A hand maybe?” Even pulled him back into the here and now, smiling sheepishly as he stretched out his arms toward Isak.

Isak giggled, and grabbed his soulmate, pulling him close. “Don’t say you already have enough?” He teased when Even clumsily stepped out of the rink.

Even groaned, “My butt will be a big fat bruise. Yes, I have had enough. Next year, it’ll work!”

Isak laughed, disbelieving of the fact that Even could still be this enthusiastic. Against Even’s lips, Isak mumbled, “I’ll kiss it better later.”

“Mmh,” Even hummed happily, deepening the kiss. They stayed wrapped up in each other for a long time until people complained that they couldn’t access the rink.

After having given back the ice skates, they strolled over the Christmas market for a while, buying some roasted almonds to snack on and more gløgg as they looked at the different booths with their hand-crafted goods.

The sun was setting when it started to snow, thick flakes sticking to Even’s lashes and his eyes brightening. “This is perfect,” He breathed as he looked up at the smile, “Christmas markets just turn to magic when it’s snowing. And very romantic.” As if to prove his point, he pulled Isak in for a kiss — they’d been kissing so much today, Isak’s lips should be numb by now but he just craved more.

The crowd got smaller slowly and Even and Isak as well were ready to go back home, cozying up on the sofa under some blankets after having spent the last couple of hours on the Christmas market. But they stopped for some elk burgers before.

The snow fall turned even heavier so when they were done eating, Isak suggested taking a walk through the nearby Slottspark before going home.

Naturally, Even was very keen on that proposition.

They walked to the park, stopping every few metres to share a kiss or try to catch snowflakes with their tongues as if they were five years old and Isak couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed that much.

As they approached the palace, they paused to take in the splendour of it, somehow enhanced by the snow and the lights.

Isak’s gaze travelled from the palace to Even and he took in the expression of absolute serenity on his face, a small smile tugging his lips up as if he had never been more content than in right that moment. The lighting was drawing flaming shadows on his face and Isak had never seen anyone more beautiful.

And maybe Isak was projecting because  _ he _ felt absolutely at peace but it didn’t really matter right now. Feeling as young as he hadn’t felt in years, probably decades or even centuries, he smiled to himself, making sure that Even was still mesmerised by the palace so he didn’t notice Isak scooping up some powdery snow.

He couldn’t quite make it stay in the shape of a snowball but he giggled happily anyway when the snow hit Even’s shoulder.

They chased each other for a while, laughing and giggling until they ended up in each other’s arms again, kissing each other breathless.

The park was empty of other people as they made it past the palace but despite their seclusion, the trees around them seemed alive.

They stopped once more to share a deep kiss, arms tangled around each other when there was a rustling behind them — a branch buckling under the weight of the snow maybe. But then they heard someone speak and Isak froze.

“Well, hello Isaac. Long time no see. Or, I suppose, you’re going by  _ Isak _ now?” 

As Isak turned his head to the person who had spoken, he tightened his grip around Even and his lips left an eloquent, “Fuck.”

 

_ Terje Valtersen was a proud man and he took pride in his son being literate. His measures were sometimes questionable but they did lead to Isak sitting outside after a long day working on the field, enjoying the warm temperatures as he read aloud to the small group of admirers around him who listened enraptured to his words. _

_ “The end,” Isak finished the story, dramatically shutting the book and the girls around him blinked dazedly, jerked out of their stupor. _

_ Sighs went around the circle as they, without doubt made up scenarios in their heads of well-dressed aristocrats — curiously looking just like Isak — sweeping them off their feet as had happened to the main characters in the book. _

_ They shot him furtive glances and there was lots of coquettish lip biting as the girls considered the best way to rope Isak into conversation. _

_ Isak, however, was not interested in that. So he ignored them as he looked back down at the book in his hands and reopened it, starting to read it again from the beginning but just to himself this time, because books where expensive and it would probably take a while until he could read another book. _

_ The scrunching of shoes on the ground indicated that the girls understood that he wanted to be left alone and when he looked back up, he was alone. _

_ Well, almost. _

_ Seemingly floating over the ground, Emma approached him. With her short hair and willingly shutting herself off from the rest of the village, she was a peculiar character. “Isaac, hello,” She greeted him nonchalantly. _

_ Isak squinted his eyes at her, trying to figure out why she came to talk to him of all people. “Hi,” He answered tersely, about to go back to his book. _

_ She was unperturbed — or oblivious — by his dismissive attitude as she said, “I thought you might be thirsty after reading so much. I have some wine at home if you’d like.” _

_ Isak considered the proposition with suspicion but he was, indeed, parched and who was he to say no to the sweet taste of wine after a long day of work? _

_ So he followed her back to her home, a little curious to find out what it would look like after all the rumours he had heard over the years. Isak was a little surprised to find that it looked much like his own home or those of his friends — maybe a little more richly decorated with odd little trinkets here and there; and an actual bookcase filled to the brim that Isak was immediately drawn to. “That’s a lot of books,” Isak mumbled, brushing his fingers against them in awe. _

_ “You can borrow them anytime,” Emma allowed, tampering around in the kitchen, “Now sit.” _

_ Isak was so surprised by the authority in her voice that he couldn’t do anything but follow that instruction, falling heavily into a nearby chair.  _

_ A moment later a cup was pressed into his hands and Emma squeezed his shoulder before she moved to sit down across from him, her eyes unwaveringly on him. _

_ It suddenly hit Isak what this was. She was acting like he did when he was interested in someone: inviting him to a secluded place, subtle touches, long eye contact. His heart started beating fast and he wracked his brain if he had ever given her any hint that he was interested as well — he doubted it but maybe he had done something that could have been misinterpreted. _

_ “Say,” Emma spoke up again, “How old are you, Isaac?” _

_ Isak was about to take a sip of his wine but lowered the cup from his lips again. He blinked owlishly at her and then scrambled to answer, “Fifteen… ma’am.” Even though he felt stupid right away for having addressed her like that, it felt appropriate. He was a little intimidated by her. _

_ Emma’s laughter tinkled through the small room and objectively speaking, she was gorgeous with her pink cheeks and the little dents in them and her sparkling eyes. _

_ Isak felt incredibly foolish for having addressed her like that now that she was laughing at him. _

_ “Fifteen… that’s quite young,” She mused and Isak didn’t understand what was so important about his age. “Well, drink,” She encouraged with a smile. _

_ Isak wanted to ask her how old she was, if any of this was even important, but having her intense eyes on him, he once again did as he was told and drank. The wine was rich and strong on his tongue, surprisingly bitter but not entirely bad. _

_ “How do you like it, Isaac?” Emma asked, her gaze flickering unnervingly over his face, halting on his lips that must have been stained red from the wine. _

_ He nodded, putting on a pleasant smile. Well-behaved as he was, he complimented, “It’s a very good wine! Thank you.” He wanted to bring the conversation back to the books, to ask where Emma had gotten them from, because that seemed like a safe topic but the door suddenly burst open and the looming figure of Terje Valtersen blocked the doorway. _

_ Isak shrunk in his chair, unable to meet his father’s gaze as he stomped farther into the room. Unexpectedly, Emma didn’t cower away from the tall Norseman like Isak did, instead she demanded, “What makes you intrude into my house like this, Valtersen? Get out!” _

_ The man simply huffed out a, “Shut up, filthy trull.” And there was a sound as if he had shoved her against the wall but Isak didn’t dare check. _

_ A second passed and Isak was yanked up by the collar of his shirt, struggling against his father even though he knew it was to no avail. His gaze met Emma’s for a moment who didn’t seem too shaken up about the violence but just glowered at Terje and then Isak was dragged outside and back to his own house. _

_ Isak closed his eyes when he heard the snapping of his father’s belt — the physical confirmation of the flogging and the inherent humiliation that was to come. _

_ “Take off your breeches,” Terje instructed harshly and before Isak could even completely fulfil that, he was pushed to his knees, bent over a chair. “I do not want you to get near that witch ever again, understood? This family will not be associated with people like her!” _

_ Isak’s hands were shaking but he didn’t start crying — never gave his father the satisfaction of it — and just replied in a shaky voice in a way that Terje Valtersen would approve of. _

_ When he had received his punishment, he crawled into bed right away and away from his father’s watchful eyes, he let silent tears slide down his cheeks as his body was hurting all over. And as soon as he could make out Terje’s loud snores a while later, he snuck back out of bed to get some fresh air and most of all, to get out of the vicinity of his father. _

_ “Rumour has it you went to the witch’s house. Did you fuck her good?” The ambush made Isak’s heart stutter in his chest for a couple of beats but he felt too exhausted to do anything more to show his being startled. Francis jumped down from where he had apparently been perched on a tree, smirking at Isak. He was one of the subtle touches and long glances people. _

_ Squaring his shoulders, Isak was trying for nonchalance, “Surely better than you will ever fuck Angelica.” _

_ He knew he was hitting a sore spot with that and he was not disappointed when Francis heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Not even a little kiss she’s offering.” _

_ “I can show you what it’s like,” Isak said carelessly, if he was honest he himself just wanted to know what it was like. And Francis was reeking of desperation. Of course this was a risk but Isak was willing to take it. “I can show you how good I fucked the witch.” _

 

_ The years passed and the flogging after the incident with Emma had been one of Isak’s last as he was growing stronger from the hard field work and soon was just as tall as his father so that Terje did not dare to use his belt on his son again. _

_ Nevertheless, Isak kept his distance from Emma — at least when he knew his father’s eyes on him. During late nights, he snuck out to meet with her to try and quench his insatiable urge for more stories of fantastic worlds. _

_ She always welcomed him with open arms, her touches getting more obvious as well as her generosity when she poured them wine but she never crossed any lines. _

_ More often than not, Isak felt watched and most times when he looked around, he would find Emma somewhere nearby. But even when she wasn’t there, he felt eyes on him; sometimes even when he disappeared into the woods with boys. It went so far that he refrained from those entanglements for a while — Terje Valtersen’s cold eyes whenever he came home did nothing to soothe his paranoia. _

_ It was Julian who he eventually told about Emma. He was lying half on top of Julian, the sweat and cum of their most recent coming together not yet dried on their skin. Isak carded his fingers through Julian’s hair and whispered, “I feel watched sometimes. By Emma… or my father, I’m not sure.” _

_ It wasn’t often that Isak was the one showing weakness, that he let Julian calm him down and it was noticeable in the awkwardness that Julian handled situations like that with. “Watching…  _ us _?” He made sure, all colour draining from his previously beautifully pink cheeks, “Can she do that? I mean,” He cleared his throat, gaze flickering around the empty clearing, “Do you think she’s watching us through her crystal ball?” _

_ Isak almost laughed. Emma had never given him any cause to think she was actually a witch and he much rather believed his own two eyes than the rumours going around the village but of course Julian was very receptive to the latter. At least it made Isak’s heart feel lighter for now. He darted in for a sweet kiss that quickly turned more desperate and soon enough, rumoured witches and disappointed fathers were the farthest from their minds. _

 

_ As Isak was thrown into the dark hole to await his trial, he wondered briefly if those words, voicing his fears of being found out, had pushed Julian into speaking to his father so he himself could evade the gallows. But despite him being the one who brought Isak there, thinking of Julian was also the only thing that kept him somewhat sane until he walked toward his destiny. _

_ When he found his father’s gaze in the crowd, he held it until the disgust in Terje Valtersen’s eyes turned into uncomfortableness and he was almost writhing under Isak’s unrelenting eyes. _

_ Someone checked the rope around his neck and Isak finally averted his gaze from his father — he wasn’t the last thing he wanted to see when he died. _

_ He caught sight of Emma instead, her expression stoic and unreadable. Isak regretted not having told her thank you for sneaking him food and drink the day before but her face lit up for a moment when she smiled at him as if she had a solution for this situation.  _

_ Isak felt hope flaring in his stomach, which was pathetic considering the rope was tightened around his neck and he’d hang in less than five minutes. _

_ He spotted Julian’s freckled and tear-stained face and his mind conjured up images of their time together, and then images of a better time where they could be themselves. His last thought was  _ I love you, Julian _ and then everything went black. _

 

_ Everything hurt when Isak’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Reflexively, his hands reached up to his neck, thinking he’d feel the rope there again and had to struggle against it. But there was nothing, just smooth skin. He lifted his head, promptly knocking it against the tree trunk he was apparently leaning against. _

_ The stench of piss and other bodily fluids hung in the air and when he looked to the side and up, he saw the two convicts who had died with him still hanging from the tree, the third noose dangling empty between them. _

_ Isak felt sick but there was nothing in his stomach for him to throw up and when suddenly Emma’s face appeared in front of him, he forgot about it anyway. _

_ “You woke up!” She exclaimed, eyes shining brightly. Immediately, she pushed a cup into his hands, urging, “Drink.” _

_ Isak clasped his hands around the cup but didn’t move to drink from it, he just tried to understand what was going on. _

_ Wanted to figure it out even more when Emma shook her head almost fondly, smiling secretly, and reached out to brush her thumb against his bottom lip. A lover’s caress. “You will understand soon,” She said as if reading his mind and gave the cup a push. _

_ Isak took a tentative sip but as soon as the warm, heavy liquid touched his tongue, he gulped it down eagerly, having never tasted anything better.  _

_ When he dropped the empty cup to the ground, Emma smiled at him, her canines unnaturally pointed. “That was good, wasn’t it?” She laughed, “Wow, you’re beautiful.” Again, she touched his lips and Isak was too out of it to fight against it. _

_ “More,” He croaked, looking down at the cup. He was parched. _

_ Instead of standing up to refill the cup, Emma raised her wrist to her mouth and bit into it. Isak barely noticed the small trickle of blood before she pressed her wrist to his mouth instead. “Drink,” She smiled. _

_ Isak’s first instinct was to be disgusted and pull away but the skin was warm against his lips and the blood velvety and it seemed like a different instinct took over when he started sucking—  _ drinking _. _

_ Emma’s free hand curled in his hair as he did so and her lips rested against his forehead. _

_ Once the rush of drinking blood from her wrist settled, there was room for Isak to panic. “What is happening to me?” He croaked. _

_ Emma pulled away slightly, the smile unwavering on her lips when she brushed her fingers over his lips once again, following the trail of blood. “I ensured that we can be together forever. You and me. I’ve been waiting so long to turn you, I can’t believe I almost lost you, Isaac. My god, you’re a beautiful creation.” _

_ Isak didn’t understand anything but when Emma pressed her lips to his, it dawned on him. He didn’t think when he pushed Emma off him, using her surprise to his advantage as he scrambled to his feet and ran. _

_ He ran for several days, lost his feeling for time or location along the way but he knew he needed to get away from that crazy person as fast and far away as possible. _

_ Isak only stopped when he felt like he was collapsing from hunger, soon after finding a small cottage where he could maybe ask for a tiny ration of food. _

_ But it wasn’t the stew in the fireplace that clouded his senses, it was the pounding of blood through their veins that did it for him. _

_ He crawled into their bed a while later, too exhausted to move more, the family of three lifeless on the ground. _

_ Before dawn, he was back on his feet and he kept running away from Emma. _

 

Like an echo from a time long past, Isak’s maker stood in front of them. “I thought I’d never find you,” Emma’s grating voice made goosebumps rise on Isak’s skin. He held Even tighter, felt the confusion radiating off of him. 

“We’re living among 8 million people. I thought you’d never find me either,” Isak shot back, sounding far more confident than he felt.

Judging by her appearance, she had never stopped to look for him though: she was wearing a dirty, threadbare skirt that she might as well have worn for the past century or two and a mismatched top, boots that looked like they’d been run in for a while and her hair was in a state of disarray. Isak could imagine the only contact she had had with human beings in the past 300 years had been to feed on them.

She looked every bit the crazy witch she had been thought to be.

And still, Isak knew they were at a disadvantage here. Vampires were lone creatures that evaded confrontation with other vampires at all costs; territorial fights rarely happened, in fact, vampires were amiable enough to share their prey — there was enough to go around after all. There was no need to develop any fighting skills along with their hunting so even though Isak was 300 years old, he had never gotten in a fight with another vampire. Emma, on the other hand, seemed like the type who thrived on chaos and destruction so besides the fact that she probably had another 300 years more of experience as a vampire, she must have known how to fight.

Now from the look of her eyes, a brilliant brown with tiny specs of silver, she was also well-fed while Isak and Even had spent the last couple hours eating human food, which had attacked their blood reserves. They were pathetically weak in comparison to Emma.

Yet, Isak knew that this could only end one of two ways: with either Emma dead or him and Even.

Emma would not let Isak run again and Isak would not let her close to him or Even.

Even.

If there was a chance to save him, Isak would take it. He was convinced that Emma was too focused on Isak to pay much attention to his soulmate so maybe he could make sure he was safe, away from that witch. “Even, run.  _ Go _ !”

But Even, beautiful, stupid,  _ vulnerable _ Even just held Isak tighter, shaking his head. “Whatever’s going on, I’m not leaving you.”

“How piteous,” Emma laughed, “Does your little plaything know that you and I belong together? I’m surprised, Isaac, your last adventure ended with him killing you. What was his name? Julian, wasn’t it? The person you thought could be your soulmate?” She laughed again, cruelly.

Isak felt sick. But it was Even who yelled, “Shut up!” 

“How cute,” Emma huffed, rolling her eyes as she produced a wooden stake from under her skirt. She turned it around in her hands, eyeing it as if seeing it for the first time, before her eyes darted back to the two of them. “Won’t it be exciting to see your love die for you this time around instead of you being the one dying, Isaac?” She mused, taking a step towards them that Isak immediately took back, pushing Even behind him to shield him.

Isak bared his fangs at her, hissing, “You won’t kill him. You’re the only one to die tonight.”

Again, her grating laugh. “You think you stand any chance? Mmh,” She hummed, deep in thought, “Maybe I should kill you first if you’re so adamant on staying with him? I wonder what would be more painful… but I think I’ll have to kill him first. He’s supposedly your soulmate, right? I can tell you love him… but does he feel the same for you, Isaac? Isn’t he only with you because of the irrevocable bond between you?”

Isak gritted his teeth, tried not to let her words get to him. She was voicing all his fears but Even was still here, he didn’t run when Isak had told him to, he rather stayed here to face their destiny together than save himself.

Even though Isak knew it was hopeless, he considered running. His eyes darted from the crazy grin on Emma’s face to the stake in her hand. He wanted the thing nowhere near Even — that went for both Emma and her weapon.

However, she was completely focused on ever little movement he made. If they ran, they wouldn’t make it far.

Her expression turned more concentrated and she stepped closer but Isak just pushed Even and himself backwards to keep the same distance between them. Emma’s lips quirked up in a smirk again, “How long do you think you can keep this game up?”

He didn’t bother answering her; he’d do this as long as it was necessary. And if he died from starvation — at least Emma would die with him and maybe he found a way to save Even anyway.

Isak quickly looked over his shoulder, meeting his soulmate’s gaze for a moment. “I love you,” He whispered, in case it would be the last time.

Even squeezed his shoulder, confusion and fear shining in his eyes. “If you die, I die,” He reminded him and Isak shuddered. He didn’t want to imagine a world without Even in it, even if he himself wasn’t in it either.

Isak averted his gaze. It wasn’t fair: he hadn’t had nearly enough time with his soulmate.

“This is getting boring,” Emma yawned, holding the stake to her chest as if she wanted to impale herself — hopefully, by the end of the night, it would end up exactly in that position. She approached them fast and Isak could just dodge out of the way before she got to them but the distance between them was smaller now.

He was already breathing heavily and the pounding of his breath in his ears was too distracting. He stopped breathing altogether, it was easier to focus on his vampire instincts like that anyway.

Those instincts were all he had, basically. Maybe he could use some of his hunting techniques to his advantage: tackle her and wrangle the stake out of her hand — after all, he was broader and taller than her; it should be possible even if he was at a general disadvantage. And then, if he couldn’t put the stake through her, maybe he could tear her skin with his teeth to make her bleed and subsequently weaker.

But what about Even? He couldn’t protect him if he got offensive.

Isak looked back at him, taking in his puffed lips and wide eyes. He couldn’t lose him.

“Even, my soul,” Isak whispered, keeping his eyes on Emma as he watched her every step, moving in the opposite direction whenever she did so they circled each other. He felt a pang in his chest, remembering the first time he had called Even that and how it had just slipped out and he had had no idea yet how much he meant it. “Do you trust me?”

Even’s chest was heaving against his back, they were close enough that Isak could feel the jerky nod. “I do,” It was barely more than a breath.

Emma bared her teeth and Isak knew that it was now or never — he had to attack now if he wanted at least the smallest of chances. “Okay,” Isak reached behind him, squeezing Even’s hip in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. Isak just wanted to feel his soulmate one last time. “Then promise me you’ll run when I tell you to.” Even’s breath hitched and Isak could tell he was about to protest but he couldn’t let that happen so he quickly added, “I’ll be right behind you. You just— please?”

“Okay,” Even’s voice broke on the last syllable and Isak tried not to think about how his words could very well turn into a lie.

Isak went through it in his head again: tackle Emma while paying attention to the hand wielding the stake, use his height and weight advantage to keep her pinned to the ground, use his teeth on her throat — possibly ripping it out if he was able to — to weaken her, get the stake and impale her.

Easy enough.

Now he only had to succeed.

“ _ Now _ !” He yelled, pushing Even in the other direction as he charged at Emma. Everything in him wanted to look back and make sure that his soulmate was actually running away from this but he couldn’t risk anything.

He wanted to survive this. For Even.

Emma met him halfway; if she had anticipated his attack because he was so obvious or if she had wanted to attack as well, Isak couldn’t know.

They went down in a tangle of limbs and Isak actually managed to have the upper hand for a couple of seconds.

And then everything went to shit. Isak couldn’t even say how it happened or why. What had he done wrong? Had he made sure Even was getting as far away from this as possible? Maybe.

It didn’t matter anyway.

Everything was searing.

A stake through the heart was at best uncomfortable.

At worst, your soulmate’s anguished screams echoed through the air and you couldn’t do anything to comfort him.

Isak stared up at the starlit sky, blinking rapidly as he felt his own blood drench his sweater, somewhere next to him, Emma did some kind of victorious dance, cackling. Isak could hear all of it perfectly even though he only saw  _ starsstarssstarsstarsstarsstarsstars _ .

He heard wailing and sobs and it was more prominent than Emma’s laughing or the stars.

Even.

_ Eveneveneveneveneveneveneven _ .

“E— ev— en,” Isak gasped, the paralysis of the stake through him making it impossible to move. He just wanted to see his beautiful boy one last time.

And then the stars vanished from his sight and instead Isak saw his soul’s tormented face. “Isak, no.  _ Nonononono _ . You promised. You  _ fucking _ promised. Don’t leave me!” Even begged. Isak could see and hear how Even’s hands flitted around his chest but he couldn’t feel it.

From somewhere to his left side, Emma mused, “I wanted to kill you both but— apparently your plaything is a little keen on you after all. It’ll be more fun to keep him alive so he has to live without you like I had to for the past three decades.”

She went on about how if she couldn’t have Isak, no one could have him but Isak didn’t care about her. He never had. “E— ev—,” He repeated but the impact of the stake through his heart got worse with each second, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and it took all his willpower to form even a single word. He’d be dead in a few minutes if he didn’t— “S— st— k— p— pu— ll—“

“You want me to—,” Even gulped, brushing a bloody hand over his face — Isak’s blood, “Pull it out? Are you sure?”

Isak understood that Even had only been a vampire for about a month so he was thinking in human terms but keeping the stake in would lead to his certain death. “D—“ Isak lost his ability to speak so he hoped his eyes conveyed that Even  _ needed to do it now _ .

Even’s hands were shaking but he wrapped them around the stake, gaze locking with Isak’s who couldn’t give the encouragements he would have liked to give. Eventually, he plucked up all his courage and pulled.

With a squelching sound and a grating feeling, Even pulled the stake out of Isak, whose lips left an unintelligible noise.

“No!” Emma screamed, infuriated; her strength and the moment of surprise making it possible for her to push Even away from Isak.

There was heavy breathing audible from Even but right in that second, the clattering of the stake to the ground was what caught Isak’s attention.

As fast as he had lost the feeling in his limbs, it was coming back now so while Emma was focused on keeping the upper hand over Even on the ground, Isak gathered the last bit of strength left in him and rolled over to grasp the stake.

Isak’s right hand was shaking uncontrollably as he held onto the weapon so he placed his other one over it as to not lose grip of it. He crawled closer to where Even and Emma were wrestling on the ground, fangs bared and both of them trying to sink them into flesh.

It was pure survival instinct that Isak managed to ram the stake into Emma’s back and through her heart. She immediately went limp on top of Even who pushed her off, which drove the stake more into her, the end of it protruding from her chest.

Isak cowered in a heap on the floor, his head feeling like it was about to explode and every millimetre of his body hurting.

And suddenly a shaking Even was in his arms, mumbling over and over again, “I thought I’d lost you,” and for a moment nothing else mattered.

When they pulled apart what seemed like hours later, Isak shot Emma a cursory glance and when he had made sure that her eyes were unseeingly fixed on the night sky, he looked back to his soulmate.

Isak needed blood and soon but holding Even’s face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his blood-stained lips seemed more important for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: time period typical punishment in the flashback but not graphic, very graphic fight scene ending with blood and death and gore
> 
> Emma: taking obsessed to a whole new level huh? :D Let me know what you thought <333


	12. † C H A P T E R   E L E V E N †

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannd we're at the last chapter. Wow. Thanks for an incredible day, I could have never imagined how excited you all were for this <333 I had the absolute best time and I hope you did too <3

There was one way to make absolutely sure a vampire stayed dead.

A stake could be removed from the body but once the heart was ripped out, there was no going back.

Isak pulled away from Even but stayed close for a little longer, brushing his thumbs over Even’s cheekbones. His skin looked paper-thin and brittle against Even’s pale but healthy-looking skin. Isak didn’t want to know what he looked like, probably death personified.

Even though he knew that there was not a chance that Even would agree to it, Isak suggested, “Meet me at home?” He didn’t want him to see that next part.

There was a difference between being violent against victims or one of his own.

And despite everything that had happened with Emma, Isak still couldn’t be sure if such a cruel act would make Even realise who Isak truly was and then he’d leave.

Instead of answering, Even asked a question of his own, “What are we going to do with the body? Come morning, there will be people passing here.”

Isak closed his eyes for a moment. He could do this. “Look away,” He mumbled futilely. He didn’t dare look at Even as he went to pull the stake out of Emma’s chest, barely registering the sharp intake of breath from his soulmate who was understandably confused. He dropped the bloodied stake to the ground and as there was no time to lose, punched his hand into Emma’s chest.

Isak felt and heard the crack of ribs as his hand unrelentingly dove into her, the graze of the broken bones against his skin barely registering. The sticky, wet feeling sent a thrill through him if he was honest.

And there it was: the firm but smooth and surprisingly silky feeling of the muscle against the tips of his fingers.

Emma’s heart.

Isak squeezed it in his hand and then pulled back out past splintered ribs. When he held it in both his hands, he stared down at it in awe. A sense of power was coursing through him. Isak had heard stories about ripping a vampire’s heart out, what it did to someone if—

He startled, momentarily remembering Even who was still kneeling beside him and looking back at him with parted lips. Isak didn’t hold his gaze for long, magically drawn back to the heart in his hands. He lifted his hands closer to his face and as he did so, his fangs protruded from his gums.

Isak took in the iron smell of it and then didn’t think at all when he sunk his teeth into the muscle, savouring that same silky, strong feeling he had in his hands on his tongue now. There was some blood dribbling down his chin but he didn’t care about the mess he made.

He needed more.

Within minutes, he had eaten all of the heart and he thought he had to burst. He felt strong and powerful, a little delirious from it.

Looking back at Even, it was impossible to pinpoint the expression on his face but Isak smirked and then launched forward to kiss him messily and open-mouthed.

A second later, he pulled away again, still grinning. “My soul, you’re gorgeous. I wanna devour you,” Isak burst out.

Even’s eyes were wide when they quickly darted to the lifeless body and the gaping hole in the chest.

Isak considered his choice of words and promptly burst into laughter. “You’re cute. I love you.” And then he got to his feet, gaze once again darting to Emma and the now milky white of her eyes that indicated that she was, in fact, dead.

The sun would do the rest in a couple of hours, burning a dead vampire’s body to ashes.

There was nothing left to be concerned about and anyway, worry was the last thing on Isak’s mind right now. He wanted to make use of that power and strength rushing through his body.

Convinced that Even would find his way back home alone, Isak shot him a wink and then darted off before Even realised what was going on.

There was something special about having the moon and nothing else watching Isak; it was maybe a cliche but he was most comfortable in the dark.

He let the wind and snow hit him, relishing the freezing feeling of it against his burning skin.

After running for a while, Isak encountered a group of six. Young boys and girls about the age Isak had been when he had died, hollering and jumping around the street, excited to get to some party or other.

Excitement pulsed through Isak and the smirk that seemed permanently fixed on his face widened more.

His mouth started watering.

He almost regretted not having taken Even on this adventure with him. The fun they could have had, the shared thrill, _the aftermath_ …

“Halla,” Isak approached the group, his voice purring, lulling them into a false sense of security. His body was pushing him to attack, to devour, the blood in their veins singing to him.

One of them, a girl that seemed on the way of too drunk already giggled, pushing off the girl who kept her upright to instead wrap her arms around Isak's neck. “You're so pretty! Hi! Hi hi,” She slurred, lopsidedly smiling at him.

The smell of her strawberry shampoo hit him, too sweet and decidedly _not Even_ but he could take it — the smell of her blood was just the right amount of sweet and enticing.

Isak ran his nose along her jaw, feeling her shiver against him for all the wrong reasons. If he had some conscience, he’d almost feel bad.

“Bro,” Another of the group spoke up and when Isak's gaze darted to him, a guy eyed him suspiciously, “Dude. What are you doing?”

Isak licked his lips, patting the girl’s wrists consolingly when he unwrapped her arms from around him and approached the guy instead.

He could feel the others’ confused eyes on him, none of them quite understanding what was going on so they didn't interfere.

“Jealous?” Isak grinned, his eyebrows raised challengingly. He had the guy in a tight grip and his lips pressed against his pulse point.

Before he could respond, Isak sunk his fangs into his first victim’s neck, smiling when he grew first rigid and struggled against him, groaning in pain, and then lax when he had lost too much blood.

The group around them slowly caught on to what was happening and Isak felt panicked hands pulling at his clothes, trying to get Isak away from their friend.

Isak felt invincible.

Nothing could stop him.

The boys of the group were strong but that was nothing against Isak's natural vampire strength and the immense power Emma's heart had given him.

The body dropped to the ground and Isak looked around, giddy with excitement. “Who’s next?” He asked, eyes twinkling. Without waiting for an answer, that they were quite frankly too horror-stricken to give anyway, Isak reached for the next guy so he could take the stronger victims out first.

That seemed to push the remaining four into motion. They scattered and made to run.

Isak pulled off his second victim and pouted, “Guys, no. Don't run, we were having so much fun.”

After sucking some more blood from the victim in his arms, he dropped the body to the ground and went after the others. Before breaking the third guy’s neck, he huffed, “I don't appreciate my victims running from me.”

Another guy was next and then the girl who had held Strawberry Girl. Isak looked around, expecting to spot the sweet smelling girl but when he didn't see her immediately, he sighed. He wasn't in the mood for playing hide and seek right now so he went back to sucking the remaining victims’ blood.

Isak laughed happily when he was finished, looking down proudly at the five bodies at his feet.

He licked his lips, Strawberry Girl at the edge of his mind but he was quite bored of hunting now and the only thing he craved anymore was the taste of Even against his lips, his smooth warm skin and the way he could make him writhe beneath him.

What could a lowly human really do to harm him? She would probably thank him for not being killed.

 

Isak was still buzzing when he stepped up to the door of his flat, smiling happily when he heard Even’s pacing inside.

He was out of his coat before he was even through the door and as soon as he caught sight of his soulmate, he pounced.

Even’s plush lips felt like heaven against his and he didn't hesitate to push them apart with his tongue, moaning into the kiss.

Isak pulled away in confusion when Even remained unresponsive. “What's wrong?”

Even’s brow furrowed even more and he reached up to hold Isak's face in his hands. “What's wrong?” He huffed, seemingly angry, “ _What's wrong?_ Isak, you left me all alone with your dead vampire ex-girlfriend or some shit after you ate her fucking heart. What the fuck.”

Isak mirrored his expression. He didn't quite understand what the problem was. Except maybe— “Emma isn't my ex!”

Even sighed, shaking his head dejectedly. He rubbed his thumbs over Isak's cheekbones. He sounded sad when he mumbled, “Can you stop bouncing for one second? Isak, my soul, you look a mess.”

“But Even!” Isak exclaimed, just bouncing more and then he was off on a rant about what the heart made him feel and the people he had killed. “Five of them, Even! At once! It felt so good, oh my god. And Strawberry—" He faltered, remembering the girl and her too sweet smell.

It felt sobering to think about it. His energy subsided a little until he could think more clearly again.

He had left behind a witness.

Isak had felt invincible and it had made him stupid.

Panic rose in his chest and he pushed away from Even, rushing to their bedroom.

In a frenzy, he pulled a suitcase out of his closet and piled clothes frantically into it, barely hearing when Even called his name.

“What are you doing, Isak?”

Isak shook his head, unable to speak, fitting as much clothes into the suitcase as possible. He then went back to the closet, pushing the remaining shirts hanging there aside to reveal the small safe there. With shaking hands he put in the code to open it, having to redo it three times because his fingers were shaking so much. He scooped the contents up in his arms and dumped them on the bed, sifting through them.

“Isak,” Even’s voice was sharp when he saw the several different passports and the wads of cash in different currencies. His fingers wrapped around Isak’s upper arm, stopping him in his movements, “You gotta tell me what’s going on.”

Isak tried to free himself from Even’s grip but he was determined to hold on so Isak soon deflated and stopped struggling against his soulmate. “We have to leave,” He clipped, voice still frantic, “Get out of town.” His eyes widened, “You don’t have a fake identity yet. Shit… but— it’s me— I’m— we can take care of that later. You can be Even Bech Næsheim until I figure this out.”

Even’s expression was complete confusion. “What are you talking about? Isak, why would we leave town? What do you mean ‘fake identities?’”

They didn’t have _time_ for explanations. Isak could imagine that watching your friends get murdered sobered someone up quite quickly so the chances of the girl already sitting at a police station to make her report where pretty high. “ _Even_!” Isak’s voice was harsh, “I fucked up, okay? I fucked up, I’m an idiot. We have to leave town because someone saw me murder five people. We have to go. And far. And Isak Valtersen can’t exist anymore.”

Even took a step away from him and Isak was so panicked about his immediate future that he couldn’t even worry about having pushed his soulmate away for good. “I’m— Isak, I’m not sure we should do that? I have friends here and family,” Even whispered, looking at the ground instead of meeting Isak’s gaze.

“They’ll all be dead sooner or later anyway!” Isak barked, not caring about being sensitive right now. They had lost too much time already — or, _he_ had.

But he regretted it right away when Even wrapped his arms around himself, panic flitting over his face. “I can’t just leave! What will I tell them? I can’t leave them, Isak. You _promised_!”

Isak winced, feeling miserable. He should have never promised Even that he would see Sonja (and by extension, all of his family) again when he knew better than that. He gulped heavily, even though his throat felt dry. When he spoke, he was still cold and analytical because he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way when it came to his own survival. “This is what the life of a vampire looks like. Do you think I stayed in one place for 300 years? Do you think I always liked moving? We can return in fifty years, my soul, once the humans will have forgotten this.”

Even’s face was a grimace of pain. “My parents will be dead in fifty years!” He yelled.

Isak bit his lip harshly. He hated himself for making his soulmate feel like this — again. “There’s a couple of options here, Even…” He closed his eyes so he could continue speaking, didn’t want to see Even’s disappointment turn into actual hatred, “We just leave and are done with this, we won’t look back. Or I turn your parents, do you want that? Do you want that kind of life for them?”

A beat of silence, then a quiet, “No.”

“Or,” Isak squeezed his eyes shut tightly, “Or you stay and I leave — but _I_ am leaving. I was imprisoned once, I’m not going back there.” His voice broke; even just thinking about the dark hole made him want to claw his eyes out. He didn’t want to leave Even behind, couldn’t imagine to be without his soulmate but this was pure survival instinct. “I love you but I can’t stay. And I’d understand if you decided to stay here after everything I’ve put you through.”

Even hid his face in his hands for a moment, shoulders shaking. “Will you ever understand that I can love you without having forgiven you? That sometimes the love is bigger than the pain caused so it’s worth it to keep going even if I am not ready to forgive you yet?” Even whispered, voice shaky. His beautiful blue eyes met Isak’s, the prominent silver in them making it even more intense. “When will you say I love you because you mean it and not out of necessity, because you’re scared of losing me?”

 

The clock struck midnight the night before the full moon when this neighbourhood of Oslo was fast asleep. The night was eerily silent as if the world was at a standstill, only disrupted by the two beautiful men loading suitcases into a car, ready to skip town.

 

**† T H E   E N D †**

 

 

  
Prologue

 

  
Chapter Three

 

  
Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> This is it.  
> I hope you don't hate me too much for that vague ending haha. Feel free to yell at me in the comments or send me an ask on tumblr, you'll find me at julian-dahl and if you want you can send me prompts or questions to scenes that happened or didn't happen in this fic because I have a lot more thoughts on this verse but unfortunately I couldn't fit everything in the actual fic.
> 
> I guess this is the point where I also mention Paula, who actually inspired this whole thing with this prompt: "Soulmates AU where people have a date written on their arms and that's the only day they can meet their soulmates, if they don't, they lose the chance. They meet at 23.59" I'm not sure if you even still remember this but I hope you enjoyed this fic even if I went a little overboard with that prompt haha i love you <333
> 
> Once again, thank you so much [Marta](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/) for being my artist and making the most incredible art! I love you so much <33
> 
> And thank you to every one of you who commented and gave kudos! <333

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: dead bodies, hanging (non-graphic/explicit)
> 
> I hope you liked this prologue and I'll see you in an hour <3 And don't forget to check out [Marta's art](https://mfrov95.tumblr.com/)!


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